The Ten Worst Movies Of 2012

Dishonorable Mention - Lockout

This was without a doubt - the WORST edited movie that I have seen in my entire life. Apparantly, they decided that they wanted a PG-13 rating at the last second and decided to cut back on the blood and/or foul language. However, they didn't do reshoots and just cut the scenes. The result is it going from scene to scene with no transition whatsoever. Pearce headbutts a guy - cut scene - they are running out of the room on the completely different side of where they are with people chasing them. The movie was a giant turd regardless but could have been a "guilty pleasure" type movie but the editing just makes it straight up unbearable. 

10.  Dredd

This is total garbage. Acting poop. Writing poop. Action even poop. This was just a cheap excuse to show gunshots and exploding blood in slow motion 3D. Total garbage.

9.  Silent House

Pretty much a big turd. I felt no fear whatsoever for the first hour. The hand held camera thing is pretty much done for me scary wise unless the movie title is Paranormal Activity and has a number after it. Once the "fear" portion of it was over and they went it to the "swerve", I was beyond done and started reading my book on my phone.

8.  The Devil Inside

This movie was not what was advertised. It was not a Paranormal Activity of exorcist movies. It wanted to be. It was advertised (very creepily well) as being so. But it absolutely was not. It was pretty much garbage. It was three creepy or exorcist scenes - which were all in the trailer - and a couple of people running around with a camera. There was pieces of a story thrown in there but they pretty much stopped following that after a while. And the movie just sort of ends. The theater I saw it in was packed and I can't remember the last time that an audience was so out loud pissed at a movie. I've never been happier to not be working at a theater anymore than being able to not deal with the backlash from people dropping money on this.

7.  Alex Cross

Words do no justice to just how lame/bad this movie was. No matter what angle you look at it from - it was poop. I am a huge James Patterson fan and have read all the Alex Cross books. Having a background knowledge of Alex Cross was kind of a prerequisite for this movie because they really didn't bother with any of his character development. You were just supposed to kind of know who he was. That being said - the movie was all over the place in terms of the books. The "wife" was never known in the books. Referred to but not known. His partner/best friend was a huge black guy named Sampson - not Ed Burns. His kids ages were all out of sync. They were in Detroit instead of Washington DC. It was beyond frustrating in so many ways. Was this supposed to be like a prequel to the Alex Cross in the books? As a stand alone movie - it was still horrible. The acting was sooooooo over the top. Especially Matthew Fox. Tyler Perry is atrocious casting as Alex Cross. He would have been better as the aforementioned non-existent Sampson. The story was just there and everything was pretty much happening haphazardly. This was like a lame 80's action movie that should have had Sylvester Stallone as a random cop or something. 

6.  Taken 2

It is hard to believe how God awful this movie was. The first one was a great paced, simple story bada$$ movie. How could they manage to screw up the simplest sequel in the world to make like this? Answer - push way too much of the wife and the daughter and tone it down for a PG-13 rating. All enjoyment was pretty much non-existent in this and a barely 90 minute movie seemed like forever long.

5.  Hit And Run

I sat through this movie for the first 30-40 minutes with that "how bad can this movie really be" face on and begging WW to leave. The acting was god awful. Don't know if you read in the synopsis above that Tom Arnold was in it. After seeing his 4th or 5th rant of the movie, I finally realized that I had the car keys on me and was able to use that leverage to pull the plug before Bradley Cooper even came on screen.

4.  Cloud Atlas

I wanted so very badly to like this movie. I knew that it was going to either be completely awesome or way too far out there and suck. The movie is three hours long and after a little over an hour, I had no clue what was going on, I wasn't even sure that they were speaking english half the time and I simply couldn't see sitting through this for another two hours. The plug was pulled and maybe one day I will try to brave the rest of this movie, but I doubt it.

3. Silent Hill: Revelation

Not going to even bother here. The first one was a somewhat decent gorefest based on a video game. This is a sequel that was literally made to pull in quick first weekend 3d prices. It was horrible across the board and I walked out after compiling a list of things that I could be doing instead of watching the rest of the rank turd.

2.  Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance

Dearest lord in heaven this was awful. I wasn't expecting much. The first Ghost Rider took care of that. I loved this comic book when I was younger and was hoping that maybe they would make it better the second time around. At least the flaming skull effects looked better in the trailer. I was beyond wrong. About halfway through the movie, Stinka and I were BEGGING WW to leave. It just got worse and worse and she finally relented after they showed Ghost Rider peeing fire. I mean really? What in the blue hell made anyone think that was necessary?

1.  Pirahna 3DD

Do I even have to bother reviewing this? It's crap. Crap was expected. Crap is what was given. Correction, steaming crap is what was given because they even brought the chaos out of the water and gave me one of the most disgusting images that I will never be able to erase from my memory.
A guy was attacked mid intercourse from a pirahna that was inside the girl.  That's all I'm saying.  Worst thing I saw all year on a screen.

Parental Guidance

 

Old school grandfather Artie (Billy Crystal), who is accustomed to calling the shots, meets his match when he and his eager-to-please wife Diane (Bette Midler) agree to babysit their three grandkids when their type-A helicopter parents (Marisa Tomei, Tom Everett Scott) go away for work. But when 21st century problems collide with Artie and Diane's old school methods of tough rules, lots of love and old-fashioned games, it's learning to bend, and not holding your ground, that binds a family together.

This was a very cute family holiday movie.  Could there have been more laughs?  Absolutely.  Was it completely formula across the aboard?  Of course it was.  Do you still enjoy the movie from start to end.   Yes!!!  Well - at least I did.  Very much.  I miss movies like this that bring the whole family together on many levels and are simple and touching.

I would definitely recommend people checking this movie out.  It makes you laugh and cry and leave the theater happy.

Les Miserables

 

Set against the backdrop of 19th-century France, Les Mis�rables tells an enthralling story of broken dreams and unrequited love, passion, sacrifice and redemption - a timeless testament to the survival of the human spirit. Jackman plays ex-prisoner Jean Valjean, hunted for decades by the ruthless policeman Javert (Crowe) after he breaks parole. When Valjean agrees to care for factory worker Fantine's (Hathaway) young daughter, Cosette, their lives change forever.

I loved this movie.  I have grown to be a bigger fan of musicals over the years.  Thank you, Moulin Rouge!  I had seen this play on broadway many many years ago.  I sort of remembered the story and tried to keep my expectations in check because I had heard such great things about it.  However, they completely met and exceeded my expectations and all of the good word the movie had gotten.  I loved that it was a total musical with barely any normal spoken dialogue.  I loved even more how the actors were legitimately singing at that moment instead of lip syncing to a previous recording.   I loved the cast (especially Anne Hathaway and the new girl that played Eponie).  This was easily my favorite non-comic book related movie of the year.

I would absolutely recommend this movie to everyone.  It was a masterpiece.

Django Unchained

 

Set in the South two years before the Civil War, Django Unchained stars Jamie Foxx as Django, a slave whose brutal history with his former owners lands him face-to-face with German-born bounty hunter Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz). Schultz is on the trail of the murderous Brittle brothers, and only Django can lead him to his bounty. The unorthodox Schultz acquires Django with a promise to free him upon the capture of the Brittles - dead or alive. Success leads Schultz to free Django, though the two men choose not to go their separate ways. Instead, Schultz seeks out the South's most wanted criminals with Django by his side. Honing vital hunting skills, Django remains focused on one goal: finding and rescuing Broomhilda (Kerry Washington), the wife he lost to the slave trade long ago. Django and Schultz's search ultimately leads them to Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio), the proprietor of "Candyland," an infamous plantation where slaves are groomed by trainer Ace Woody to battle each other for sport. Exploring the compound under false pretenses, Django and Schultz arouse the suspicion of Stephen (Samuel L. Jackson), Candie's trusted house slave. Their moves are marked, and a treacherous organization closes in on them. If Django and Schultz are to escape with Broomhilda, they must choose between independence and solidarity, between sacrifice and survival...

This was one of Tarantino's better movies.  I like that he finally told a story in actual time instead of the going back and forth in the timeline sutff he usually does.  The character development was awesome and his direction of Christoph Waltz just makes both of thier talents better.  He was easily the best part of the movie.  The quick and proper dialogue from him and the back and forth with Jaimie Foxx was awesome.  I was loving the movie and couldn't wait to see where it would go and then we got to meet Leonardo DiCaprio's character and the setting of Candyland and the movie honestly got even better.   The violence was waaaaaaaaay extreme at times and didn't really have to be, but outside of that - this was a very excellent movie.

I would definitely recommend people checking this out.  It's a textbook example of amazing character development.

Jack Reacher

 

When a gunman takes five lives in what seems like an open and shut murder case, all evidence points to the suspect in custody. On interrogation, the suspect offers up a single note: "Get Jack Reacher!" So begins an extraordinary chase for the truth, pitting Jack Reacher against an unexpected enemy, with a skill for violence, a secret to keep and a target on Reacher's back.

This was a very enjoyable popcorn/crime solving type of movie.  It was nice to just sit down, lean back and enjoy the ride.  Tom Cruise was perfect for the part and the dry humor of all his character's deliveries made the movie pretty funny at times as well.

I would definitely recommend that people check this out.  It's just a fun ride that you enjoy from beginning to end.

This Is 40

 

Judd Apatow brings audiences This Is 40, an original comedy that expands upon the story of Pete (Paul Rudd) and Debbie (Leslie Mann) from the blockbuster hit "Knocked Up" as we see first-hand how they are dealing with their current state of life.

Once again - Judd Apatow has disappointed me.  I know that most people find his movies to be hysterical, but outside of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and The 40 Year Old Virgin, I have never found his movies to be that funny.  I was kind of excited about this one because these two characters were definitely my favorite part of Knocked Up.  There were some good laughs in this but they were kept too far apart.  It was frustrating because I would start to laugh and get into it and then it would seperate the two main characters into their seperate waa waa waa that wasn't nearly as funny as when they were together. 

I wouldn't really recommend people checking this out.  Strike that.  I would lukewarmly recommend people checking this out.  It's not terrible but it could have been sooooooooo much funnier.

The Guilt Trip

 

The story follows an inventor (Rogen) who invites his mother on a cross-country trip as he tries to sell his new product while also reuniting her with a lost love.

This was a much better watch than I thought it would be.  Don't get me wrong.  The movie is just as formula as it appeared to be from the trailer, but the pairing of Seth Rogan and Barbara Streisand was surprisingly good.  They played really well off of each other and there were a lot of decent laughs and you are interested enough to root for their adventure to work out.

I would somewhat recommend people checking this out.  It's not a must see by any stretch of the imagination and there are definitely better movies out there, but this is a somewhat enjoyable movie.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

 

"The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" follows title character Bilbo Baggins, who is swept into an epic quest to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor, which was long ago conquered by the dragon Smaug. Approached out of the blue by the wizard Gandalf the Grey, Bilbo finds himself joining a company of thirteen dwarves led by the legendary warrior Thorin Oakenshield. Their journey will take them into the Wild; through treacherous lands swarming with Goblins and Orcs, deadly Wargs and Giant Spiders, Shapeshifters and Sorcerers. Although their goal lies to the East and the wastelands of the Lonely Mountain, first they must escape the goblin tunnels, where Bilbo meets the creature that will change his life forever... Gollum. Here, alone with Gollum, on the shores of an underground lake, the unassuming Bilbo Baggins not only discovers depths of guile and courage that surprise even him, he also gains possession of Gollum's "precious" ring that holds unexpected and useful qualities... A simple, gold ring that is tied to the fate of all Middle-earth in ways Bilbo cannot begin to know.

This is a tough one to review.  Do I do it as a stand alone movie or part of the Lord Of The Rings world?   I was very entertained and loved the movie very much.  It was too long and I'm still trying to wrap my head around how The Hobbit (one book) is going to be three movies with a running time of almost 3 hours each?  But it is a very entertaining fantasy world story done by Peter Jackson.  You really can't go wrong with that.  Is it Lord Of The Rings level?   HELL NO!!!  Not even close.  This movie might crack my top ten of the year . . . . . barely.   The Lord Of The Rings trilogy was a top 3 (if not number one overall) every year. 

I would definitely recommend people checking it out.  It's great story/character development - although a little slower than needed.  It is a great movie.  It's just not Lord Of The Rings worthy.

Playing For Keeps

 

Gerard Butler, Jessica Biel, Uma Thurman, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Dennis Quaid star in Playing For Keeps, a romantic comedy about a charming, down-on-his luck former soccer star (Butler) who returns home to put his life back together. Looking for a way to rebuild his relationship with his son, he gets roped into coaching the boy�s soccer team. But his attempts to finally become an "adult" are met with hilarious challenges from the attractive "soccer moms" who pursue him at every turn.

This was a decent but kind of pointless watch.  Good characters - but possibly too many of them thrown in to the world of relationships and parenting.  It was a little muddled at times but I wasn't bored out of my mind watching it or thinking of other things I could be doing.

Would I recommend it?  No.  Not because it was bad but at this time of year when there are so many other things that you could be doing - why bother with this?  Wait for cable.

The Collection

 

When Elena's (Emma Fitzpatrick) friends take her to a secret party at an undisclosed location, she never imagined she would become the latest victim of The Collector, a psychopathic killer. The Collector kidnaps and transports her to an abandoned hotel he's transformed into his own private maze of torture and death. Upon learning of his daughter's disappearance, Elena's wealthy father (Christopher McDonald) hires a group of mercenaries to retrieve her from the vicious grips of The Collector. These mercenaries coerce Arkin (Josh Stewart), the only man to have escaped the wrath of this heinous monster, to lead them through the gruesome labyrinth. Now, Arkin finds himself fighting for his own life in order to save Elena.

This was a sequel to a quietly released horror movie a couple years back called The Collector.  For some reason they didn't even bother advertising it as a sequel even though it literally picked up where the last one left off.  Much like the first one - this is basically another version of the Saw franchise movies.  Crazy killer hunts and tortures people for unknown reason . . . . lots of gore . . . . no real story.  One huge positive - they wasted no time bothering with an story development whatsoever.  It just took right off and was over an hour and fifteen minutes later.

I wouldn't really recommend anyone bothering to check this out.  Unless you are a huge fan of the Saw franchise.  Then you might like this movie.

Silver Linings Playbook

 

Life doesn't always go according to plan.  Pat Solatano (Bradley Cooper) has lost everything -- his house, his job, and his wife. He now finds himself living back with his mother (Jacki Weaver) and father (Robert De Niro) after spending eight months in a state institution on a plea bargain. Pat is determined to rebuild his life, remain positive and reunite with his wife, despite the challenging circumstances of their separation. All Pat's parents want is for him to get back on his feet - and to share their family's obsession with the Philadelphia Eagles football team. When Pat meets Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence), a mysterious girl with problems of her own, things get complicated. Tiffany offers to help Pat reconnect with his wife, but only if he'll do something very important for her in return. As their deal plays out, an unexpected bond begins to form between them, and silver linings appear in both of their lives.

I loved this movie.  They made you care about the characters and made it okay to laugh and care at the same time as they dealt with their mental disorders.  The chemistry between Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence was amazing.  And although it was pretty predictable where it all was going, I enjoyed the ride.  The performances of the ecclectic group of supporting characters were equally funny, touching and entertaining.  

I would absolutely recommend everyone checking this movie out.  It has some of the better performances of the year across the board for the year and it a very entertaining story.

Life Of Pi

 

Director Ang Lee creates a groundbreaking movie event about a young man who survives a tragic disaster at sea and is hurtled into an epic journey of adventure and discovery. While marooned on a lifeboat, he forms an amazing and unexpected connection with the ship's only other survivor -- a fearsome Bengal tiger.

This was one of the more amazing visual movies I've ever seen.  I didn't see it in 3D but really wish that I had.  It's very rare that a movie can consist mostly of a man and a tiger on a boat and keep you as captivated as this movie does.  The narration was done very well and complimented the unspoken relationship growing between the boy and the tiger. 

I didn't expect much because I usually think that Ang Lee is one of those overrated critically acclaimed directors.   However, I was wrong.  This was a great movie.  And I would definitely recommend people checking this out. 

Breaking Dawn - Part 2

 

Breaking Dawn - Part 2 is the final installment in the franchise and is based on the fourth novel in author Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" series.  Do you really need more of a synopsis on this one?

The franchise is over.  I can go in to great detail reviewing this or I could just save my time.  If you love the franchise, you have seen it or will.  If you don't - you won't.  I read the books and saw the movies.  This one was much more tolerable that Part 1 of Breaking Dawn and I was glad that they did a twist at the end that gives much more satisfaction (and a pretty big laugh after realizing it) then the last book did.

Like I said - if you are going to go - you will.  If you are not - you won't.  No reason for me to recommend whether or not you should.

Red Dawn

 

In Red Dawn, an American city awakens to the surreal sight of foreign paratroopers dropping from the sky.  Shockingly, the U.S. has been invaded and their hometown is the initial target. Quickly and without warning, the citizens find themselves prisoners and their town under enemy occupation. Determined to fight back, a group of young patriots seek refuge in the surrounding woods, training and reorganizing themselves into a guerilla group of fighters. Taking inspiration from their high school mascot, they call themselves the Wolverines, banding together to protect one another, liberate their town from its captors, and take back their freedom.

For the record - the original Red Dawn was not a great movie in terms of quality.  It was however a cult classic for me.  So this was one of the million remakes that Hollywood has churned out the last couple of years that made me cringe at the thought of it.  So I went in to this movie braced for an intense amount of pain.  And to be honest - it wasn't that bad.  Whoa.  Don't get me wrong.  It wasn't good at all, but it wasn't that bad.  The part that killed it the most was how atrocious the kid that used to be the fat guy from Drake & Josh was.  If that part was an actor with the tiniest shred of acting ability, this movie probably would have been much more digestible.  But since every scene had his face looking like Rocky Balboa talking to Adrienne, it just got so beyond annoying every time he was on screen. 

I would absolutely not recommend anyone bothering with this one.  I went into it with garbage expectations so I deemed the garbage acceptable . . . . . .for garbage.

Lincoln

 

Steven Spielberg directs Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln, a revealing drama that focuses on the 16th President's tumultuous final months in office. In a nation divided by war and the strong winds of change, Lincoln pursues a course of action designed to end the war, unite the country and abolish slavery. With the moral courage and fierce determination to succeed, his choices during this critical moment will change the fate of generations to come.

This was a movie that is a reminder just how good of a director Steven Spielberg is.  Forgotten at this point for the most part with all the talk about the new class of directors that churn out movie awesomeness, Spielberg has put forth a historical biopic without any of his usual special effects and what not that can make even the most not interested in history peeps (like myself) riveted by the story being played out on the screen.  And Daniel Day-Lewis completely equals his director's awesomeness with his performance.  The man is pure gold as an actor.  It seemed as if Lincoln himself was alive and back on screen.

I would definitely recommend people checking this out.  Premium acting and directing are on display and this is easily one of the best movies of the year.

Rise Of The Guardians

 

Rise of the Guardians is a magical adventure that tells the story of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the Sandman, and Jack Frost - legendary characters with previously unknown extraordinary abilities. When an evil spirit known as Pitch lays down the gauntlet to take over the world, the immortal Guardians must join forces to protect the hopes, beliefs and imagination of children everywhere.

This was a cute and enjoyable movie taking known characters and giving them an extra twist of being guardians to children.  The voices were good (although Santa with a Russian accent was a little weird) and the story progressed fast enough that any adults going with their kids are not wanting to scream. 

I would lukewarmly recommend this movie to people.  It's not bad.  It's not great.  It is watchable and enjoyable but there are actually better options out there for parents to take their kids too.

Fun Size

 

Fun Size is a teen comedy centered on a sarcastic high school senior, Wren (Victoria Justice), who is eager to distance herself from her dysfunctional family by going off to college. Before that can happen, Wren's mother, Joy, insists that she watch her little brother Albert on Halloween night, so Joy can go to a rager with her much younger boyfriend. When Wren gets distracted by an invitation to the party of the year, Albert disappears into a sea of trick-or-treaters. Frantic to locate him before their mother discovers he's missing, Wren enlists the help of her sassy best friend April, as well as Peng, an aspiring ladies man and co-captain of the debate team, and Peng's best friend, Roosevelt, a sweet nerd whose crush on Wren clouds his better judgment. This unlikely foursome embarks on a high-stakes, all-night adventure to find Albert, crossing paths with outrageous characters every step of the way.
This is a pretty pointless teenage comedy.  It's like a teenage Adventures In Babysitting based on Halloween.  There is literally nothing more that can be said about this movie.

I wouldn't really recommend it . . . . . . unless you are a teenager. 

Skyfall

 

Daniel Craig is back as Ian Fleming's James Bond 007 in Skyfall, the 23rd adventure in the longest-running film franchise of all time. In Skyfall, Bond's loyalty to M is tested as her past comes back to haunt her. As MI6 comes under attack, 007 must track down and destroy the threat, no matter how personal the cost.

This was a pretty kick a$$ Bond movie.  It was very straight forward with a ton of great action.  There was no heavy espionage story.  We got a lot more of M (Judi Dench) which was pretty cool and Javier Bardem was awesome as the bad guy.  Daniel Craig has really grown on me as Bond.  He might be my favorite one at this point.  The only real knock I can make on this movie was that it was about 20-30 minutes too long.  The pacing could have been kicked up and the movie kept shorter.

I would definitely recommend people checking this out.  It was great and very entertaining popcorn type movie to just get away from everything else and enjoy for 2 plus hours

Flight

 

Flight tells the redemption story of "Whip" (Washington), a commercial airline pilot who pulls off a heroic feat of flying in a damaged plane, saving 98 lives on a flight carrying 106 people. While the world begs to embrace him as a true American Hero, the everyman struggles with this label as he is forced to hold up to the scrutiny of an investigation that brings into question his behavior the night before the doomed flight.

This movie was tough to watch although an amazing movie acting wise overall.  A - Anyone with a fear of flying will only have that fear multiplied by like a million after watching the plane crash in this movie.  B - It was very tough to watch so many people try to cover for an out of control alcoholic for about two hours.  It speaks volumes of how great Denzel Washington's performance was that I legitamitely hated him so much throughout the movie.  I wanted to see his character get his a$$ kicked at some point for his alcoholic behavior and blatant disrespect for all of the people trying to help him.

I would recommend it because it really was a well directed and amazingly acted movie.  But I am dead serious when I say that this is a very hard to watch movie on a fear level and a human being level.

Wreck-It Ralph

 

Ralph (voice of John C. Reilly) is tired of being overshadowed by Fix-It Felix (voice of Jack McBrayer), the "good guy" star of their game who always gets to save the day. But after decades doing the same thing and seeing all the glory go to Felix, Ralph decides he's tired of playing the role of a bad guy. He takes matters into his own massive hands and sets off on a game-hopping journey across the arcade through every generation of video games to prove he's got what it takes to be a hero.  On his quest, he meets the tough-as-nails Sergeant Calhoun (voice of Jane Lynch) from the first-person action game Hero's Duty. But it's the feisty misfit Vanellope von Schweetz (voice of Sarah Silverman) from the candy-coated cart racing game, Sugar Rush, whose world is threatened when Ralph accidentally unleashes a deadly enemy that threatens the entire arcade. Will Ralph realize his dream and save the day before it's too late?

This movie was alot of fun.  I have been disappointed for the most part by animated movies recently.  There are few movies that I enjoy more than animated movies that the kids can enjoy and the parents can enjoy just as much.  I had very high hopes for this movie and they definitely met them.  The story was great and does for video games what Toy Story did for toys in my opninon.  Knowing most of the characters and games just made it that much more enjoyable.  This is easily Disney's best non-Pixar animated movie in a while.

I would definitely recommend people checking this one out.  Kids will love it.  The adults taking them will love it.  The movie totally met my very high expectations.

The Man With The Iron Fists

 

Since his arrival in China's Jungle Village, the town's blacksmith (RZA) has been forced by radical tribal factions to create elaborate tools of destruction. When the clans' brewing war boils over, the stranger channels an ancient energy to transform himself into a human weapon. As he fights alongside iconic heroes and against soulless villains, one man must harness this power to become savior of his adopted people.

This is one of those "it's good for what it is" movies.  It's a throwback kung fu movie with lots of great fights and gore.  The story is kind of there but doesn't matter.  The acting a dialogue is nothing more than filler between the fights. 

If you like pointless kung fu movies - then you should definitely check this one out.  If you don't - I don't see why you would need me to tell you not to bother.

Chasing Mavericks

 

Based on the inspirational true story of surfing icon Jay Moriarty, Chasing Mavericks tells the story of a young man's quest to surf Northern California's most dangerous wave, and the local legend who takes him under his wing. What begins as a mentorship turns into a unique lifelong bond, as the two unlikely friends discover that there is nothing more powerful than pushing your limits and chasing a nearly impossible dream.

This was a cutesy, heartstring pulling movie.  Think Karate Kid but with surfing.  You know the story from the trailer.  There are no surprises.  Just a good build up to a completely expected outcome.  The footage of the waves was amazing. 

I would somewhat recommend people checking this out.  It is not a must see by any means, but there are much worse things that you could be watching.

Killing Them Softly

 

Killing Them Softly follows professional enforcer, Jackie Cogan (Pitt), who investigates a heist that occurs during a high stakes, mob-protected, poker game.

The movie is actually only worth that short synopsis.  This movie was basically two things.  A LOT of talking.  And then a lot of hipster, gangster cleanup type stuff.  This movie felt like it was trying too hard to be hip/cool.  Kind of like Snatch or RocknRolla.  There was the dark designs and the non-stop dialogue.  There was Brad Pitt looking like a bada$$ cleaner.  The look was definitely there, but the substance was pretty much non-existent.

I wouldn't recommend people wasting their time with this.  Its pretty much one of those movies that is just there and looks good appearance wise but that is about it.

Silent Hill: Revolution

 

Heather Mason (Adelaide Clemens) and her father (Sean Bean) have been on the run, always one step ahead of dangerous forces that she doesn't fully understand. Now on the eve of her 18th birthday, plagued by horrific nightmares and the disappearance of her father, Heather discovers she's not who she thinks she is. The revelation leads her deeper into a demonic world that threatens to trap her forever.

Not going to even bother here.  The first one was a somewhat decent gorefest based on a video game.  This is a sequel that was literally made to pull in quick first weekend 3d prices.  It was horrible across the board and I walked out after compiling a list of things that I could be doing instead of watching the rest of the rank turd.

No, I wouldn't recommend it.  I can't even come up with one reason other than my movie seeing obsession that even made me sit through the 45 minutes that I did.

Cloud Atlas

 

Cloud Atlas explores how the actions and consequences of individual lives impact one another throughout the past, the present and the future. Action, mystery and romance weave dramatically through the story as one soul is shaped from a killer into a hero and a single act of kindness ripples across centuries to inspire a revolution in the distant future.

I wanted so very badly to like this movie.  I knew that it was going to either be completely awesome or way too far out there and suck.  The movie is three hours long and after a little over an hour, I had no clue what was going on, I wasn't even sure that they were speaking english half the time and I simply couldn't see sitting through this for another two hours.  The plug was pulled and maybe one day I will try to brave the rest of this movie, but I doubt it.

Unless you are the most dedicated of movie watchers - I would not recommend checking this out.  Like I said - I was pretty much staring at the screen with a "what?" face for a little over an hour before my frustrations took over and I bailed.

Alex Cross

 

"Alex Cross" follows the homicide detective/psychologist (Tyler Perry), from the worldwide best-selling novels by James Patterson, as he meets his match in a serial killer (Matthew Fox). The two face off in a high-stakes game of cat and mouse, but when the mission gets personal, Cross is pushed to the edge of his moral and psychological limits in this taut and exciting action thriller.

Words do no justice to just how lame/bad this movie was.  No matter what angle you look at it from - it was poop.  I am a huge James Patterson fan and have read all the Alex Cross books.  Having a background knowledge of Alex Cross was kind of a prerequisite for this movie because they really didn't bother with any of his character development.  You were just supposed to kind of know who he was.  That being said - the movie was all over the place in terms of the books.  The "wife" was never known in the books.  Referred to but not known.  His partner/best friend was a huge black guy named Sampson - not Ed Burns.  His kids ages were all out of sync.  They were in Detroit instead of Washington DC.  It was beyond frustrating in so many ways.  Was this supposed to be like a prequel to the Alex Cross in the books?   As a stand alone movie - it was still horrible.  The acting was sooooooo over the top.  Especially Matthew Fox.  Tyler Perry is atrocious casting as Alex Cross.  He would have been better as the aforementioned non-existent Sampson.  The story was just there and everything was pretty much happening haphazardly.  This was like a lame 80's action movie that should have had Sylvester Stallone as a random cop or something. 

I would not recommend anyone bothering with this.  It was so beyond disappointing in every way.  I just don't get it.  If they were to just recreate the books like they did with Kiss The Girls and Along Came A Spider this could be the most easy to make 11 movie franchise at this point.  Baffling how this can be so screwed up.

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

 

The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a modern classic that captures the dizzying highs and crushing lows of growing up. Starring Logan Lerman, Emma Watson and Ezra Miller, The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a moving tale of love, loss, fear and hope-and the unforgettable friends that help us through life.

This is one of those artistic character dramas.  But what made it so good is that the actors were all so young yet put in amazingly adult like performances.  Emma Watson shows to me how she will be the only one from the Harry Potter kiddies that will go on to have a legitamite acting career.  She was great with the teenage rollercoaster/angst portrayal and played well off of all the other characters. 

I would recommend anyone interested in a very high quality character drama check this out.  It was a well acted movie with great performances throughout.

Argo

 

Based on true events, Argo chronicles the life-or-death covert operation to rescue six Americans, which unfolded behind the scenes of the Iran hostage crisis--the truth of which was unknown by the public for decades. On November 4, 1979, as the Iranian revolution reaches its boiling point, militants storm the U.S. embassy in Tehran, taking 52 Americans hostage. But, in the midst of the chaos, six Americans manage to slip away and find refuge in the home of the Canadian ambassador. Knowing it is only a matter of time before the six are found out and likely killed, a CIA "exfiltration" specialist named Tony Mendez (Affleck) comes up with a risky plan to get them safely out of the country. A plan so incredible, it could only happen in the movies.

This movie was great.  And I didn't even realize how much I was enjoying it until the tension that had been building for so long finally passed.  I literally felt relieved.  That is good film making when you get someone to feel that way and totally reel them in without them knowing it's even happening.  I continue to be amazed at how much better Ben Affleck is as an actor than a director and the fact that when he is directing himself, he makes himself a better actor.  So weird. 

I would definitely recommend people checking this out.  It's a pretty intense true story that is excellently directed and acted throughout.  I'm pretty sure this movie is going to show up on a lot of top ten lists at the end of the year.

Paranormal Activity 4

 

The fourth film in the supernatural franchise.

That is literally the synopsis that I found.  Does the synopsis really matter for these movies at this point.  If you are into them - you know the deal.  If not - why would you start with number four?

I have really enjoyed this franchise until this point.  The first one scared the living hell out of me.  The second one was very creepy.  The third one (a prequel) backtracked a little but still had more than it's fair share of creep out moments.  This one was more of a sequel to part 2 and started off with great promise, but for the first time I wasn't scared.  I didn't find myself dreading what was going to happen.  I didn't find myself jumping.  It was basically a 90 minute set up to the final scene that actually made the story movie forward ever so slightly.

Again - whether I recommend it or not doesn't really matter.  If you saw the others and liked them - you will see this one.  If you didn't - then you probably won't.

Sinister

 

Sinister is a frightening new thriller from the producer of the Paranormal Activity films and the writer-director of"The Exorcism of Emily Rose" Ethan Hawke plays a true crime novelist who discovers a box of mysterious, disturbing home movies that plunge his family into a nightmarish experience of supernatural horror.

This movie had great scares.  Not like a lose sleep kind of stuff like Paranormal Actitivty or last year's Insidious, but the kind that makes the whole audience jump.  The story was pretty good and easy enough to follow.  The only real problem I had with the movie was the constant waa-waa between Ethan Hawke and his wife.  They basically had the same discussion/fight 17 times.  It took away from the overall feel of the movie.

I would still recommend that fright fans check this one out.  It is a more than decent enough watch and the jump scares are enjoyable.  It's just a shame that they couldn't stick more to the story instead of the waa-waa this is my big break speeches made by Ethan Hawke.

Here Comes The Boom

 

In the comedy Here Comes the Boom, former collegiate wrester Scott Voss (Kevin James) is a 42-year-old apathetic biology teacher in a failing high school. When cutbacks threaten to cancel the music program and lay off its teacher (Henry Winkler,) Scott begins to raise money by moonlighting as a mixed martial arts fighter. Everyone thinks Scott is crazy - most of all the school nurse, Bella (Salma Hayek) - but in his quest, Scott gains something he never expected as he becomes a sensation that rallies the entire school.

This is by no means a good movie.  It's beyond formula.  It's beyond unrealistic and silly in terms of credibility.  You pretty much have seen the movie by watching the trailers.  That being said - I LOVE watching Kevin James so I just decided to shut off my brain and watch the movie.  By doing that, I was actually able to enjoy it quite alot.   I found myself cheering for him and enjoying the ride of the movie knowing full well how silly/lame it really was.

I would recommend this movie to anyone who is able to do what I mentioned above.  Not being able to turn off the analytical part of your brain will make this probably one of the dumbest movies ever.

Trouble With The Curve

 

Gus Lobel (Clint Eastwood) has been one of the best scouts in baseball for decades, but, despite his efforts to hide it, age is starting to catch up with him. Nevertheless, Gus, who can tell a pitch just by the crack of the bat, refuses to be benched for what may be the final innings of his career. He may not have a choice. The front office of the Atlanta Braves is starting to question his judgment, especially with the country's hottest batting phenom on deck for the draft. The one person who might be able to help is also the one person Gus would never ask: his daughter, Mickey (Amy Adams), an associate at a high-powered Atlanta law firm whose drive and ambition has put her on the fast track to becoming partner. Against her better judgment, and over Gus's objections, Mickey joins him on his latest scouting trip to North Carolina, jeopardizing her own career to save his. Forced to spend time together for the first time in years, each makes new discoveries, revealing long-held truths about their past and present that could change their future.

This was a great character drama.  Clint Eastwood played pretty much the same role that he has in his last couple of movies.  Hey - if it ain't broke - don't fix it.  Amy Adams was great as the daughter to the dad that was never there.  The baseball intricacies were great and Justin Timberlake continues to get better and better as an actor. 

I would definitely recommend that people check this out.  It is an amazing father/daughter movie.  The story was simple yet touching.  The main characters all had great hooks that make you care.  And all of the main actors played very well off of each other.

Pitch Perfect

 

Beca (Anna Kendrick) is that girl who'd rather listen to what's coming out of her headphones than what's coming out of you. Arriving at her new college, she finds herself not right for any clique but somehow is muscled into one that she never would have picked on her own: alongside mean girls, sweet girls and weird girls whose only thing in common is how good they sound when they sing together, in the new out-loud comedy Pitch Perfect.

This movie was soooooooooo much fun.  I loved the music.  I loved the characters.   I laughed my ass off.  This is easily one of the biggest surprises of a movie I've seen in a long, long time.  I'm not by any stretch of the imagination willing to say that in terms of good filmmaking this is a phenomenal movie.  But in terms of just pure fun and laughs - this is one of the more enjoyable movies that I have seen this year.

I would absolutely recommend people checking this movie out.  It was so much fun and I am now officially the hugest fan of "Fat Amy".

Taken 2

 

Liam Neeson returns as Bryan Mills, the retired CIA agent with a particular set of skills who stopped at nothing to save his daughter Kim from Albanian kidnappers. When the father of one of the kidnappers swears revenge and takes Bryan and his wife hostage during their family vacation in Istanbul, Bryan enlists Kim to help them escape, and uses the same advanced level of special forces tactics to get his family to safety and systematically take out the kidnappers one by one.

It is hard to believe how God awful this movie was.  The first one was a great paced, simple story bada$$ movie.  How could they manage to screw up the simplest sequel in the world to make like this?  Answer - push way too much of the wife and the daughter and tone it down for a PG-13 rating.  All enjoyment was pretty much non-existent in this and a barely 90 minute movie seemed like forever long.

I would absolutely not recommend anyone bothering with this.  It's pretty much a big giant turd and easily one of the most disappointing movies to come out this year.

Frankenweenie

From creative genius Tim Burton comes Frankenweenie, a heartwarming tale about a boy and his dog. After unexpectedly losing his beloved dog Sparky, young Victor harnesses the power of science to bring his best friend back to life with just a few minor adjustments. He tries to hide his home-sewn creation, but when Sparky gets out, Victor's fellow students, teachers and the entire town all learn that getting a new leash on life can be monstrous.

Personally, I enjoyed this movie.  I have pretty much always enjoyed Tim Burton's stuff like this.  It was a simple enough story.  One that definitely hits home with me because of my closeness with my cat.  It was definitely short enough that it didn't go on and on.  That being said . . . . this movie is soooooooo not for young kids as advertised.  The last 15-20 minutes of this movie are really creepy and kind of violent. 

I would still recommend that people go and check this out.  It was a very enjoyable movie.  Just do NOT bring young children to see it.

Looper

 

In the futuristic action thriller Looper, time travel will be invented - but it will be illegal and only available on the black market. When the mob wants to get rid of someone, they will send their target 30 years into the past, where a "looper" (a hired gun), like Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is waiting to mop up. Joe is getting rich and life is good until the day the mob decides to "close the loop," sending back Joe's future self (Bruce Willis) for assassination. The film is written and directed by Rian Johnson and also stars Emily Blunt, Paul Dano, and Jeff Daniels. 

This movie did two things incredibly well.  Sci Fi is all about making people believe in the world being portrayed.  This "future" was very well developed and beliveable.  The storytelling and back and forth between present Joe and "future" Joe's stories was incredibly done.  You found yourself going back and forth rooting for them as you understood both of their lines of thinking on how things had to play out.  There were only two things that kept me from completely raving about this movie.  One - the makeup on Joseph Gordon-Levitt making him not look like Joseph Gordon Levitt was driving me crazy the whole movie.  I don't see why that was necessary at all.  The second thing is that the pacing was so kick ass for the first half of the movie and then awesome for the last 1/2 hour but there was a 1/2 hour in there where the movie basically just kind of stopped.  If that were done better, this would be a lock for my top ten movies list . . . . . even with the ending that is very philosophical instead of the textbook closure providing type.

I would definitely recommend people checking this out.  It is excellent sci-fi and amazing storytelling. 

Hotel Transylvania

 

Welcome to the Hotel Transylvania, Dracula's lavish five-stake resort, where monsters and their families can live it up, free from meddling from the human world. But here's a little known fact about Dracula: he is not only the Prince of Darkness; he is also a dad. Over-protective of his teenage daughter, Mavis, Dracula fabricates tales of elaborate dangers to dissuade her adventurous spirit. As a haven for Mavis, he opens the Hotel Transylvania, where his daughter and some of the world's most famous monsters, Frankenstein and his bride, the Mummy, the Invisible Man, a family of werewolves, and more, can kick back in safety and peace. For Drac, catering to all of these legendary monsters is no problem - but his world could come crashing down when one ordinary guy stumbles on the hotel and takes a shine to Mavis.

This was a simple, fun kids movie that the adults can enjoy as well.  It wasn't a bunch of stupid toilet humor because of the Adam Sandler factor.  It was funny more because of the incorporating of all the "monsters" that we have come to know through numerous forms of presentation.  Dracula bugging out when he got mad for a couple of seconds didn't get old, the Wolfman stuff was really funny and the zombie's throughout it all were great.  The story was cute and the run time was perfectly short. 

I would definitely recommend people checking this out - especially those of you with kids.  Hopefully this movie marks the end of the black hold of movie going that the first 2/3 of September represent and there will be more worthwhile stuff for the families like this to go check out.

Dredd

 

The future America is an irradiated waste land. On its East Coast, running from Boston to Washington DC, lies Mega City One- a vast, violent metropolis where criminals rule the chaotic streets. The only force of order lies with the urban cops called "Judges" who possess the combined powers of judge, jury and instant executioner. Known and feared throughout the city, Dredd (Karl Urban) is the ultimate Judge, challenged with ridding the city of its latest scourge - a dangerous drug epidemic that has users of "Slo-Mo" experiencing reality at a fraction of its normal speed. During a routine day on the job, Dredd is assigned to train and evaluate Cassandra Anderson (Olivia Thirlby), a rookie with powerful psychic abilities thanks to a genetic mutation. A heinous crime calls them to a neighborhood where fellow Judges rarely dare to venture- a 200 story vertical slum controlled by prostitute turned drug lord Ma-Ma (Lena Headey) and her ruthless clan. When they capture one of the clan's inner circle, Ma-Ma overtakes the compound's control center and wages a dirty, vicious war against the Judges that proves she will stop at nothing to protect her empire. With the body count climbing and no way out, Dredd and Anderson must confront the odds and engage in the relentless battle for their survival.

Most unnecessarily long plot summary ever for a movie with no story/plot whatsoever.  This is total garbage.  Acting poop.  Writing poop.  Action even poop.  This was just a cheap excuse to show gunshots and exploding blood in slow motion 3D.  Total garbage.

Should anyone see this?  Absolutely not.  Pretty much a lock for the Bottom 10 at the end of the year.

House At The End Of The Street

 

Seeking a fresh start, newly divorced Sarah (Elisabeth Shue) and her daughter Elissa (Jennifer Lawrence) find the house of their dreams in a small, upscale, rural town. But when startling and unexplainable events begin to happen, Sarah and Elissa learn the town is in the shadows of a chilling secret. Years earlier, in the house next door, a daughter killed her parents in their beds, and disappeared - leaving only a brother, Ryan (Max Thieriot), as the sole survivor. Against Sarah's wishes, Elissa begins a relationship with the reclusive Ryan - and the closer they get, the deeper they're all pulled into a mystery more dangerous than they ever imagined.

This movie started off as a decent creepy movie with the sister still being alive and the brother trying to cover for her and keep her hidden.   It wasn't really good, but decent.  Then there was a twist that pretty much dumped this movie right in to the crapper and I felt like I was watching a repeat of that show Criminal Minds.  Can't really go in to much more detail without playing the whole Spoiler Alert thing and to be honest - the movie was too crappy to waste my time going in to any more detail.

I would absolutely not recommend anyone bothering with this movie.  It is pretty pointless and a big pile of poop.  Any hope it might have had left once they did their stupid swerve.

End Of Watch

 

Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Pena star in End of Watch as young Los Angeles police officers Taylor and Zavala as they patrol the city's meanest streets of south central Los Angeles. The film creates a riveting portrait of the city's most dangerous corners, the cops who risk their lives there every day, and the price they and their families are forced to pay.

This movie was awesome.  It seemed so real.  They did such an amazing job of hooking you into these two characters that the intensity you felt when they were in action was amazing and the laughs you had while they were busting each other's chops were equally as great.  There were a couple of times where I started to wonder where the movie was ultimately going but I didn't really care because I would gladly keep watching the daily events in these two cops lives. 

I would absolutely recommend people checking this movie out.  Granted this has been a pretty bad year for movies so take this with a grain of salt - but this is easily one of the best movies that I have seen this year.

Resident Evil: Retribution

 

The Umbrella Corporation's deadly T-virus continues to ravage the Earth, transforming the global population into legions of the flesh eating Undead. The human race's last and only hope, Alice (Milla Jovovich), awakens in the heart of Umbrella's most clandestine operations facility and unveils more of her mysterious past as she delves further into the complex. Without a safe haven, Alice continues to hunt those responsible for the outbreak; a chase that takes her from Tokyo to New York, Washington, D.C. and Moscow, culminating in a mind-blowing revelation that will force her to rethink everything that she once thought to be true. Aided by newfound allies and familiar friends, Alice must fight to survive long enough to escape a hostile world on the brink of oblivion. The countdown has begun.

Why do they keep making these?   The fact that this is a franchise with however many movies (is this the fifth one, now?) is one of the things that I hate the most about my movie seeing problem.  It's just another Resident Evil movie.  I really don't have to say anything else.   It's poop.  Just like the rest of them for the most part. 

Really?  Would I recommend it?   No.  I recommend that for the love of all that is holy they stop making these damn movies.

The Words

 

Starring Bradley Cooper, Jeremy Irons, Dennis Quaid, Olivia Wilde and Zoe Saldana, The Words follows young writer Rory Jansen who finally achieves long sought after literary success after publishing the next great American novel. There's only one catch - he didn't write it. As the past comes back to haunt him and his literary star continues to rise, Jansen is forced to confront the steep price that must be paid for stealing another man's work, and for placing ambition and success above life's most fundamental three words.

It's hard to put my finger on why, but I liked this movie.  A lot.  I'm not saying its a great movie but it was very enjoyable for the usual toilet of movie releases that is the month of September.  I guess it was the storytelling format that they used.  It was simple and different and even though you knew any twists that would pop up, you were still totally intrigued to see how it played out . . . . or was told by the narrator.   The movie was also very short and I think that the lack of dead time kept the storytelling that much tighter.

I would recommend people check this movie out.  Again - it's not a must see by any means but I did enjoy it very much just because of the narrative way of telling the story and the back and forth between three different writers.

Hit And Run

 

Hit and Run is the story of Charlie Bronson (Shepard), a nice guy with a questionable past who risks everything when he busts out of the witness protection program to deliver his fiance' (Kristen Bell) to Los Angeles to seize a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Their road trip grows awkwardly complicated, when they are chased by the feds (led by Tom Arnold) and increasingly dangerous, when Charlie's former pals, a band of gangsters (led by Bradley Cooper), enter the fray.

I sat through this movie for the first 30-40 minutes with that "how bad can this movie really be" face on and begging WW to leave.  The acting was god awful.  Don't know if you read in the synopsis above that Tom Arnold was in it.  After seeing his 4th or 5th rant of the movie, I finally realized that I had the car keys on me and was able to use that leverage to pull the plug before Bradley Cooper even came on screen. 

I would not recommend that anyone even waste the half hour that I did on this movie.  This is one of those movies that will be etched in my mind under the category of how the hell do movies like this even get made in the first place.  The budget that was spent on something like this could probably cure hunger in Ethiopia or something for Christ's sake!!!

Premium Rush

 

Dodging speeding cars, crazed cabbies, open doors, and eight million cranky pedestrians is all in a day's work for Wilee (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), the best of New York's agile and aggressive bicycle messengers. It takes a special breed to ride the fixie (super lightweight, single-gear bikes with no brakes) and riders who are equal part skilled cyclists and suicidal nutcases who risk becoming a smear on the pavement every time they head into traffic. But a guy who's used to putting his life on the line is about to get more than even he is used to when his last envelope of the day, a routine "premium rush" run, turns into a life or death chase through the streets of Manhattan.

Is this what Hollywood has come down to?  Remaking old Kevin Bacon movies from the 80s.  They don't openly admit that this is a remake of Quicksilver but it sure as hell felt like it.  And how in the hell did such legit actors like Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Michael Shannon decide to do this?  It's not that the movie was horrible.  It's somewhat watchable and short enough that you don't lose interest in it and what not.  It's beyond predictable from the first scene and they try to mix it up by going back and forth over the two hour timeline covered in the movie. 

I would somewhat recommend this movie to people.  Like if you have absolutely nothing else to do and have seen most other movies out there maybe.  It's not bad, but its not great.  It's just kind of there.

The Cold Light Of Day

 

Will Shaw (Henry Cavill) goes to Spain for a weeklong sailing vacation with his family but his whole world turns upside down when the family is kidnapped by intelligence agents hell-bent on recovering a mysterious briefcase and Will suddenly finds himself on the run.

My how far some big name actors have fallen.  Bruce Willis and Sigourney Weaver were useless in this movie.  Honestly, the whole movie was useless and this was not a good start for the guy that is taking over Superman.  This movie had been pushed back over a year and it was not hard to understand why.  There was zero suspense in this "suspense" movie.

I wouldn't recommend anyone wasting their time with this one.  It is pretty much pointless and not worth the time at all.

The Possession

 

Clyde (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) and Stephanie Brenek (Kyra Sedgwick) see little cause for alarm when their youngest daughter Em becomes oddly obsessed with an antique wooden box she purchased at a yard sale. But as Em's behavior becomes increasingly erratic, the couple fears the presence of a malevolent force in their midst, only to discover that the box was built to contain a dibbuk, a dislocated spirit that inhabits and ultimately devours its human host.

I tend to not look forward to these PG-13 exorcism type movies because they never hit the mark.  Anything remotely creepy is usually shown in the trailers and it's a waste of 90 minutes.  Finally, this one was enjoyable.  It had plenty of creeped out moments.  It had to do with a kid which for whatever reason is always that much more terrifying.  The story wasn't over the top too much that it slowed the movie down too much.  Pretty surprising.

I would definitely recommend creepy movie fans check this one out.  It was a pretty entertaining watch.