Pandorum

Two astronauts awaken in a hyper-sleep chamber aboard a seemingly abandoned spacecraft. It's pitch black, they are disoriented, and the only sound is a low rumble and creak from the belly of the spacecraft. They can't remember anything - who are they, what is their mission? The only way out of the chamber is a dark and narrow airshaft. Corporal Bower (Foster), the younger of the two, crawls inside, while the other, Lt. Payton (Quaid), stays behind for guidance on a radio transmitter. As Bower ventures deeper and deeper into the ship, he begins to uncover a terrifying reality. Slowly the spacecraft's shocking and deadly secrets come unraveled, and the astronauts realize that the survival of mankind hinges on their actions.

This movie was garbage. It had all the potential in the world. It could have been a really good, creepy sci-fi/horror movie but it ended up screwing the pooch. They made it to cerebral and all of the crazy action scenes were so dark you could barely make out what was happening. It ended up being a giant waste of time.

I wouldn't really recommend anyone checking this out. Its just another reason why going to the movies in the month of September is downright painful.

Love Happens

Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Aniston star in the romantic drama Love Happens. When a self-help author arrives in Seattle to teach a sold-out seminar, he unexpectedly meets the one person who might finally be able to help him help himself. Dr. Burke Ryan (Eckhart) is on the precipice of a major multimedia deal, but the therapist who asks his patients to openly confront their pain is secretly unable to take his own advice. Eloise Chandler (Aniston) has sworn off men and decided to focus on her floral business. However, when she meets Burke at the hotel where he's speaking, there is an instant attraction. But will two people who have met the right person at exactly the wrong time be able to give love another chance? As each struggles with the hurt of love and loss, they realize that in order to move forward, they need to let go of the past. And if they can, they'll find that, sometimes, love happens when you least expect it.

This movie is beyond falsely advertised. It is in no way romantic. Jennifer Aniston is only in about 1/4 of the movie. The movie ends up being all about Aaron Eckhart (who at this point should probably just go ahead and legally change his name to Harvy Dent) dealing with the loss of his wife. The chemistry between Jennifer Aniston and Harvy Dent is totally forced and unrealistic . . . . . and barely on screen. The movie starts off slightly promising but rolls in to a giant ball of hot mess.

I wouldn't recommend anyone wasting their time of this giant, steaming turd. Its a blatant waste of time and you will not be happy.

Toy Story/Toy Story 2 in 3D

This extraordinary double feature, taking the latest advances in digital 3D technology "to infinity and beyond," will play exclusively in 3D. "Toy Story," the industry's first ever computer-animated feature and the first feature released by Pixar Animation Studios in 1995, and "Toy Story 2," the critically acclaimed sequel that debuted in 1999, have been meticulously re-rendered in 3D from the original digital files using the latest state-of-the-art technology.

I watched about 15 minutes of this to see if the 3D effects were worth sitting through two movies that I've already seen for 3 hours. They were not. So, I will not be watching the entire double feature. Don't get me wrong. I love both of the movies and Toy Story is probably one of the best animated movies ever made, but trying to factor in 3 hours for two movies I've already seen is a little bit rough. If you have kids who have not seen either of the movies or you yourself have also not seen either of them, you should most definitely check them out. If you have seen them and are going just for the "3D", all it really does is provide more depth which Pixar's ability to do is what makes them the best already. I did watch the intermission footage that gets shown between the two movies and that was actually pretty entertaining while you wait for the second movie.

I would completely recommend anyone who hasn't seen either movie to get out there and check these out. If you want to just because of the 3D - you should probably pass on getting suckered by Disney's masterful marketing department yet again.

Fame

Fame follows a talented group of dancers, singers, actors, and artists over four years at the New York City High School of Performing Arts, a diverse, creative powerhouse where students from all walks of life are given a chance to live out their dreams and achieve real and lasting fame...the kind that comes only from talent, dedication, and hard work. In an incredibly competitive atmosphere, plagued by self-doubt, each student's passion will be put to the test. In addition to their artistic goals, they have to deal with everything else that goes along with high school, a tumultuous time full of schoolwork, deep friendships, budding romance, and self-discovery. As each student strives for his or her moment in the spotlight, they’ll discover who among them has the innate talent and necessary discipline to succeed. With the love and support of their friends and fellow artists, they’ll find out who amongst them will achieve Fame...

This movie was crap. It was really crap. I didn't expect much from this, but I did expect a "movie". This movie was just a million performing arts vignettes thrown together with pretty much no ryhme or reason whatsoever. There was seriously no story at all. I don't understand. They could have basically just made another "Step Up" type movie but decided that having an actual script to follow was unnecessary.

I would never recommend that anyone watch this. Its 2 hours of random singing, playing instruments, dancing, and acting. You'll never be able to get that time back, people!

Surrogates

People are living their lives remotely from the safety of their own homes via robotic surrogates—sexy, physically perfect mechanical representations of themselves. It's an ideal world where crime, pain, fear and consequences don't exist. When the first murder in years jolts this utopia, FBI agent Greer (Bruce Willis) discovers a vast conspiracy behind the surrogate phenomenon and must abandon his own surrogate, risking his life to unravel the mystery.

I was actually surprised that I enjoyed this movie. I thought that it looked ridiculously stupid from the trailer. I think that what saved this movie was the fact that it was less than 90 minutes long. The fact that it was so condensed prevented this movie from becoming craptastic. If this would have been a full 2 hours or so, I probably would have been miserable. The action, while cheesy, was enjoyable because of the sci-fi world that they took us to in the movie.

I would actually recommend people checking this movie out. Its not by any means a must see, but its surprisingly worth the 90 minute escape.

Jennifer's Body

Jennifer's Body is about small town high school student Jennifer (Megan Fox), who is possessed by a hungry demon. She transitions from being "high school evil" - stuck up and ultra-attitudinal - to the real deal: evil/evil. The glittering beauty becomes a pale and sickly creature jonesing for a meaty snack, and guys who never stood a chance with the heartless babe, take on new luster in the light of Jennifer's insatiable appetite. Meanwhile, Jennifer's lifelong best friend Needy (Amanda Seyfried), long relegated to living in Jennifer's shadow, must step-up to protect the town's young men, including her nerdy boyfriend Chip (Johnny Simmons).

This movie is one of the most god awful pieces of garbage I've ever seen. The script was bad enough to inspire a desire for deafness. The acting was even worse. I understand that people think Megan Fox is attractive. However, she has not a shred of acting ability whatsoever. Neither does anyone else in this movie. I can honestly say that I watched this whole movie with a disgusted look on my face. It might be the worst movie of the year.

I wouldn't recommend anyone checking this out. Ever. Its one of the worst things I've ever seen.

Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs

Bill Hader will voice Flint Lockwood, a young inventor who dreams of creating something that will improve everyone's life. Anna Faris takes on the role of Sam Sparks, a weathergirl covering the phenomenon who hides her intelligence behind a perky exterior. James Caan plays Tim Lockwood, Flint's technophobic father. Andy Samberg plays Brent, the town bully who has plagued Flint since childhood. Bruce Campbell plays Mayor Shelbourne, who figures out that Flint's invention can put the town, and more importantly himself, on the map and Mr. T plays the by-the-rules town cop Earl Devereaux.

My expectations for this movie was for it to be a lame kids movie that was banking on the 3D effects. I was completely wrong. I loved the movie. It had that smart/witty humor in the script that makes animated movies just as enjoyable for the parents as it is for the kids. You really get in to the characters and their relationships. The monkey had me laughing my ass off at points. Plus - its super short. Huge bonus points on not wasting my time there.

I would definitely recommend that everyone check this one out . . . . . . . especially if you have kids. They will love it and you will too. As a co-worker of mine said "more like Cloudy With A Chance Of Awesome".

I Can Do Bad All By Myself

When Madea, catches sixteen-year-old Jennifer and her two younger brothers looting her home, she decides to take matters into her own hands and delivers the young delinquents to the only relative they have: their aunt April. A heavy-drinking nightclub singer who lives off of Raymond, her married boyfriend, April wants nothing to do with the kids. But her attitude begins to change when Sandino, a handsome Mexican immigrant looking for work, moves into April's basement room. Making amends for his own troubled past, Sandino challenges April to open her heart. And April soon realizes she must make the biggest choice of her life: between her old ways with Raymond and the new possibilities of family, faith... and even true love.

Which one is this? 6? 7? Why do they bother giving these movies titles? Its should just be called Tyler Perry 6. You know thats what even the biggest fans of his movies think of them as by this point. This movie is just like the others. Madea is hilarious. I'm sorry. I happen to be one of those people who find the character to be hysterical. The other part of the movie is depressing and drags on but this one made you care a little bit more than usual because it was about kids instead of poor me adults.

Recommending this really depends on if you like Tyler Perry's movies. If you would say yes to that - you should be enjoying this one. If you don't like them - why would you start now when you could wait for Tyler Perry 7? Or will the next one be 8?

Sorority Row

When five sorority girls inadvertently cause the murder of one of their sisters in a prank gone wrong, they agree to keep the matter to themselves and never speak of it again, so they can get on with their lives. This proves easier said than done, when after graduation a mysterious killer goes after the five of them and anyone who knows their secret...

Sorority Row is what it is. If you are going to see a quality movie - you should absolutely not see this. If you are going to see a smart or edgy horror movie - you should absolutely not see this. If you are going to see your textbook girls getting killed off one by one horror movie - then you should see this. It was essentially a remake of I Know What You Did Last Summer but it takes places in a sorority. The acting is atrocious. Its so bad in fact that I found myself wanting to see all the girls get killed and loving it when they were. Unfortunately, that was really the only good part of the movie. I guess that is a sign of poopage when the only satisfaction found in a movie is the characters getting killed off.

I really wouldn't recommend anyone checking this turd out . . . . unless you want to see a couple of girls get killed off and really bad acting. If thats the case - you should rush to see this.

Whiteout

Carrie Stetko, the lone U.S. Marshal assigned to Antarctica, is investigating the continent's first murder, which draws her into a shocking mystery. Now, with only three days until winter, Carrie must solve the crime before Antarctica is plunged into darkness and she is stranded with the killer.

This movie is poop. Straight up poop. Its like a really boring episode of CSI: Antartica. I have seen better suspense while watching paint dry compared to this movie. The story was absolutely horrible. She get duped by her partner, kills her in self defense and . . . . . . goes to Antartica to be the marshal there!?! Seriously? And the continuity in the freezing cold was the funniest stuff ever. They did this whole scene with the "new guys" showing them how cold it is there and then every time that she was out in this blisteringly cold snow, from her nose down was exposed. She lost two fingers to frostbite yet her lips, cheeks and chin never even got red much less frozen. It was absurd. Absolutely absurd.

I wouldn't recommend seeing this movie. Ever. Its a big steaming turd that should never be watched by anyone.

9

When 9 (Elijah Wood) first comes to life, he finds himself in a post-apocalyptic world. All humans are gone, and it is only by chance that he discovers a small community of others like him taking refuge from fearsome machines that roam the earth intent on their extinction. Despite being the neophyte of the group, 9 convinces the others that hiding will do them no good. They must take the offensive if they are to survive, and they must discover why the machines want to destroy them in the first place. As they'll soon come to learn, the very future of civilization may depend on them.

I liked this movie alot. The animation was phenomenal. It ws super short and I'm always a fan of movies that are short and cut out all of the blah-blah-blah stuff. However, the one knock I can make against this movie is that it started really abruptly. I mean if you show up 2 minutes late for this movie you would be convinced you missed a 1/2 hour. I felt like there was a lot that could have been done or explained instead of 9 just kind of waking up. They explain how this alternate world came to be later, but it was a little bit strange how it started and could have been done better. This movie is also absolutely not for kids. Whenever animated movies come out, parents see it as a chance to do something with the kids on a rainy day. Your kids will have nightmares if you take them to see this. Its very dark and its very violent at times.

I would recommend that people check this out. Its not a mainstream movie whatsoever. Its animation on a Pixar level and you definitely enjoy the short ride.

Gamer

Gamer is a high-concept action thriller set in a near future when gaming and entertainment have evolved into a terrifying new hybrid. Humans control other humans in mass-scale, multi-player online games: people play people... for keeps. Mind-control technology is widespread, and at the heart of the controversial games is its creator, reclusive billionaire Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall). His latest brainchild, the first-person shooter game "Slayers," allows millions to act out their most savage fantasies online in front of a global audience, using real prisoners as avatars with whom they fight to the death. Kable (Gerard Butler) is the superstar and cult hero of the ultraviolent "Slayers." Kable is controlled by Simon, a young gamer with rock star status who continues to defy all odds by guiding Kable to victory each week. Taken from his family, imprisoned and forced to fight against his will, the modern day gladiator must survive long enough to escape the game to free his family, regain his identity and to save mankind from Castle's ruthless technology.

This movie is a prime example of why going to the movies in September can be so painful. This movie was advertised as a crazy adrenaline action movie. It seemed like it would be a simple enough watch. Basically like Death Race but in a video game form instead of car racing. I really didn't think that they could screw up something so basic. Needless to say, they did. The script and acting was cheesy as expected, but the main bad guy played my Michael C. Hall (usually a great actor) was absolutey horrible. It was just annoying every time he was on the screen. The camera work was also some of the worst I've ever seen. The editing was choppy as hell as it was and then the director decided to start getting creative with camera angles and moving them around and it was just nauseating.

I wouldn't recommend that anyone bother checking this movie out. Its not even good as an adrenaline action movie. The went and porked the simplest movie formula possible here.

Extract

To the outside eye, Joel Reynold (Jason Bateman) seems to have everything. After all, being the owner of a business he built from the ground up - with its patented brand of culinary extracts - should make the "Extract King" a happy man. However, if Joel hasn't reached his front door by 8 o'clock, he'll find his wife, Suzie (Kristen Wiig) cinching up her sweatpants – and about as interested in him as he is in her mastery of supermarket coupon design. Sexually frustrated, Joel confides in his best pal, Dean (Ben Affleck), a barkeep – and soon finds himself wrapped up in a convoluted scheme to make Suzie cheat on him first with a dim-witted gigolo (Dustin Milligan) – thereby allowing him to pursue beautiful new employee Cindy (Mila Kunis) with a clear conscience.

This is a tough to review movie. It was very well written comedy. Jason Bateman was awesome as always. There were good characters (JK Simmons always a favorite supporting actor for me). But ultimately the movie is totally pointless. It really just kind of treads water in terms of story/plot. Unfortunately, no matter how sharp I thought the writing was, knowing that the movie wasn't going to really go anywhere held it back big time.

I can't really recommend that anyone rush to check this out. Again, it has some good laughs. However, it is rather pointless and is just an hour and a half with some well written comedy. Looking back on it makes you really feel like you wasted your time.

All About Steve

Bullock's Mary Horowitz is a cruciverbalist - a crossword puzzle constructor. Her brain spins at warp speed with an endless stream of arcane information. She can come up with the perfect word - and dozens with the same meaning - at a moment's notice, but "normal" behavior eludes her. For Mary, nothing is typical, especially relationships. When she is set up on a blind date with handsome cable-news cameraman Steve, Mary thinks the chemistry is undeniable - that Steve is "the one." Steve, on the other hand, thinks Mary is crazy. Mary, who just knows she's found her soul mate, decides to do anything and go anywhere to be with him. She begins to pursue Steve relentlessly as he crisscrosses the country, covering breaking news stories. Mary's escalating infatuation with Steve is encouraged by the self-serving actions of news reporter Hartman Hughes (Thomas Haden Church), who enjoys torturing his insolent cameraman at every opportunity. With Mary never far behind and Hartman urging her on, Steve becomes increasingly unhinged.But when Mary becomes embroiled in the news story of the year, Steve and Hartman begin to see her differently. Hartman is plagued by guilt, knowing his game of one-upmanship with Steve has placed her squarely in harms way, while Steve is feeling his own pangs of remorse at his callous behavior. Despite the media storm surrounding her, Mary with her upbeat, unaffected manner brings together a small community of new friends. And all who encounter Mary will realize that sometimes the ones who don't fit in are the ones who really stand out.

Any time that a movie is willing to overexplain what their movie is about (see the above description I found for the movie), it tends to be a really really really bad sign. This movie is no exception to that. This is a really crappy movie. Its pointless. Its corny. Its garbage. This is also a prime of example of a movie studio turning crap in to gold based on circumstances. This movie was supposed to come out almost a year ago, but got shelved. I'm 99.9% sure that its because the movie didn't test well with audiences. Then Sandra Bullock made a huge comeback in The Proposal (although I think the credit for that should go to Ryan Reynolds) and Bradley Cooper was the hottest new star of the summer after The Hangover. So, the studio gets to repackage this movie as starring "the girl from The Proposal" and "the guy from The Hangover" when this movie was actually made before either of those actors did the aforementioned quality movies. And the piece of garbage that is All About Steve benefits off of the success of the other two. However, the people that get screwed are us. Needless to say, I saw one critic write "I saw All About Steve so that you don't have to" as his headline. That quote is beyond spot on.

I definitely would not recommend anyone check out this movie. I actually think the two stars should sue the studio for slander at how their names are being used to sell this garbage and probably putting a damper on the great buzz they had coming off their last movies.