Taking Woodstock

It's 1969, and Elliot Tiber, a down-on-his-luck interior designer in Greenwich Village, New York, has to move back upstate to help his parents run their dilapidated Catskills motel, The El Monaco. The bank's about to foreclose; his father wants to burn the place down, but hasn't paid the insurance; and Elliot is still figuring how to come out to his parents. When Elliot hears that a neighboring town has pulled the permit on a hippie music festival, he calls the producers, thinking he could drum up some much-needed business for the motel. Three weeks later, half a million people are on their way to his neighbor's farm in White Lake, NY, and Elliot finds himself swept up in a generation-defining experience that would change his life, and American culture, forever.

This is one of the more pointless movies I've seen in a long time. Let me just make sure that any potential viewers of this know - you don't see Woodstock. The only scene of the concert itself is from about 7 miles away on top of a hill and the guy is tripping on acid when he sees it so it turns in to a massive wave/ocean as you are looking at it. There isn't even any music in this movie. How do you make a movie about Woodstock without any music? This movie is basically about this kid and his parents, who end up being the absolute best part of the movie by far, and their involvement in the happenings of Woodstock. And you really don't end up caring about them at all. The movie was funny at times and then serious at others. Unfortunately, it doesn't commit either way and just kind of ends up being there circling the drain. I really think that Ang Lee might be the most overrated director in all of Hollywood at this point.

I wouldn't recommend that anyone bother checking this out. Its a pretty big and pointless turd of a movie.

The Final Destination

On what should have been a fun-filled day at the races, Nick O'Bannon has a horrific premonition in which a bizarre sequence of events causes multiple race cars to crash, sending flaming debris into the stands, brutally killing his friends and causing the upper deck of the stands to collapse on him. When he comes out of this grisly nightmare Nick panics, persuading his girlfriend, Lori, and their friends, Janet and Hunt, to leave... escaping seconds before Nick's frightening vision becomes a terrible reality. Thinking they've cheated death, the group has a new lease on life, but unfortunately for Nick and Lori, it is only the beginning. As his premonitions continue and the crash survivors begin to die one-by-one--in increasingly gruesome ways--Nick must figure out how to cheat death once and for all before he, too, reaches his final destination.

For the record, this is an absolutely horrible movie. The acting is atrocious and its just about the worst writing/dialogue ever. That being said, seeing this movie in 3D was just plain fun. The theatre was packed. Everyone was jumping and then laughing at themselves for jumping. It was fun. That's really the only reason that you go to a movie like this. As horrible of a movie as it was it definitely met his true meaning of provinding the fun.

I would never recommend that anyone see this movie based on the quality of it. Its a fun scary movie and is even more fun in 3D. If you enjoy that type of thing - do not miss this movie. If you don't - this is one of the biggest turds out there, people.

Halloween II

It's that time of year again, and Michael Myers has returned home to sleepy Haddonfield, Illinois to take care of some unfinished family business. Unleashing a trail of terror that only horror master Rob Zombie can, Myers will stop at nothing to bring closure to the secrets of his twisted past. But the town's got an unlikely new hero, if they can only stay alive long enough to stop the unstoppable.

I couldn't even make it through the first hour of this movie. It is just plain crap. And this is coming from someone that growing up found Halloween to be my favorite horror series by far and would get pumped for every reincarnation of Michael Myers even though it was just the same movie over and over again. The "original" Halloween II scared the hell out of me. I absolutely loved it. This one is poop. Its just like the first Rob Zombie take on Halloween. Its just a whole lot more gore and bone crunching sounds while the attacks are happening. He is also completely in love with characters yelling "f#ck". I'm not going to pretend that I'm not a potty mouth at numerous times, but words do no justice to how many times this was the only word that characters were saying or yelling repeatedly. Rob Zombie has made a complete mess out of what was my favorite horror franchise.

I wouldn't recommend anyone checking this movie out ever. Its a complete and total waste of time and even a die hard Halloween franchise fan like me couldn't make it through this whole movie.

Inglourious Basterds

Inglourious Basterds begins in German-occupied France, where Shosanna Dreyfus (Mélanie Laurent) witnesses the execution of her family at the hand of Nazi Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz). Shosanna narrowly escapes and flees to Paris, where she forges a new identity as the owner and operator of a cinema. Elsewhere in Europe, Lieutenant Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) organizes a group of Jewish soldiers to engage in targeted acts of retribution. Known to their enemy as "The Basterds," Raine's squad joins German actress and undercover agent Bridget Von Hammersmark (Diane Kruger) on a mission to take down the leaders of The Third Reich. Fates converge under a cinema marquee, where Shosanna is poised to carry out a revenge plan of her own...

I loved this movie. I have always been a huge Tarantino fan and was totally psyched when I saw this trailer. My expectations then were destroyed when I found out that the parts of the trailer did no justice whatsoever to what actually goes on in the movie, that it was 2 1/2 hours long and that at least 2/3 - 3/4 of the movie are in subtitles. I always got turned off a little bit when Tarantino's scripts got out of control chatty and the thought of reading it all via subtitles was not intriguing in the least. Now, I don't know how much my lower expectations effected my viewing of the movie but as I mentioned before - I loved this movie. Like I said - the parts with Brad Pitt and company that fill the trailer with all the violence make up such a small (and violent) part of the movie. The best part of the movie is the part of Nazi colonel Hans Landa played by Christoph Waltz. This guy had better get an academy award nomination. He was phenomenal. You find yourself glued to watching him speak the same way you were when Hannibal Lecter spoke to Clarice or when The Joker speaks in The Dark Knight. I found myself totally mesmerized as he talked people in circles about absolutely nothing and then flipped the switch into actually interrogating them. He (and Tarantino's script for his character) totally made this movie. Tarantino also did an awesome job of building up the tension towards the eventual awesome climax. As always, it could have been shorter and there could have been much less talking but Tarantino did an awesome job of having all his seperate little stories come together and he did it without jumping back and forth like he usually does.

I strongly recommend this movie to everyone. Its my favorite movie of the year at this point. Yes, its long. Yes, there are subtitles. Yes, there are some pretty violent parts. Its awesome filmmaking though. Its not Pulp Fiction/Reservoir Dogs good, but its easily Kill Bill good if not better.

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

Who is Don Ready? Salesman? Lover? Song Stylist? Semi-professional dolphin trainer? Ready is all of the above, except for a dolphin trainer. When he's asked to help save an ailing local car dealership from bankruptcy, Ready and his ragtag crew descend on the town of Temecula like a pack of coyotes on a basket full of burgers. Selling, drinking, selling and going to strip clubs is their stock and trade. And they do it well. What Don doesn't expect is to fall in love and find his soul (cue heartfelt piano).

I watched exactly 23 minutes of this movie. It was stupid. Just plain stupid. Its another one of those sophomoric comedies that is pretty much targeted at an audience that is either too young or just old enough to see it. There were one or two one liners that made me chuckle but it was more the awkwardness of how they were thrown in there than actually being funny. This movie is literally built around Jeremy Piven's ability to launch in to convincing monologues. It gets old after about . . . . . . .23 minutes.

I wouldn't recommend anyone checking this bad boy out. Its another of those dime a dozen comedies that end up not being too funny.

Julie & Julia

Meryl Streep is Julia Child and Amy Adams is Julie Powell in writer-director Nora Ephron's adaptation of two bestselling memoirs: Powell's "Julie & Julia" and "My Life in France," by Julia Child with Alex Prud’homme. Based on two true stories, Julie & Julia intertwines the lives of two women who, though separated by time and space, are both at loose ends...until they discover that with the right combination of passion, fearlessness and butter, anything is possible.

This was a very simple, enjoyable movie. On a side note, I have never watched anything that has made me so hungry in all my life. Seriously. I was ready to start gnawing on my own arm while watching this with all the delicious looking cooking. Anywho, the movie wasn't necessarily a chick flick. Pretty much anyone can enjoy this as long as you don't expect some sort of an eye-opening biographical thing. Meryl Streep will no doubt be nominated for an academy award as she was perfect playing Julia Child. Amy Adams was a little over the top whiny at times but represented the world of blogging quite well. I would have to say that was one of my favorite parts of the movie with her and her husband debating about her "readers". How many are there? How much do they care? I found it all very accurate and funny when related to blogging.

I would definitely recommend people checking this out. Its not a must see by any means but is a pretty enjoyable visit to the theaters.

Shorts

Shorts is set in the suburb of Black Falls, where all the houses look the same and everyone works for BLACK BOX Unlimited Worldwide Industries Incorporated, whose Mr. Black's BLACK BOX is the ultimate communication and do-it-all gadget that's sweeping the nation. Other than keeping his parents employed, however, Mr. Black's BLACK BOX has done nothing for 11-year-old Toe Thompson, who just wants to make a few friends...until a mysterious rainbow-colored rock falls from the sky, hits him in the head and changes everything. The Rainbow Rock does Mr. Black's BLACK BOX one better: it grants wishes to anyone who holds it. Before long, wishes-gone-wrong have left the neighborhood swarming with tiny spaceships, crocodile armies, giant boogers...and outrageous magical mayhem around every corner. But it's not until the grown-ups get their hands on the Rock that the trouble really starts. Now Toe and his newfound friends must join forces to save their town from itself, discovering along the way that what you wish for is not always what you want.

This is an enjoyable off the wall kids movie. It could have pretty much been called Spy Kids 3 with it having the same look and feel as the other movies. Its heavy on the sight gags and silly makeup/effects. This one was actually told in a non-linear fashion which actually made it slightly more interesting than it would have been. The best part of the movie was that the bad girl (Hellvetika)had a theme song that they kept playing for her and I haven't stopped singing it since.

If you have kids - they will enjoy this. You will not enjoy it as much as them but you've definitely suffered through much worse on their behalf.

Post Grad

Ryden Malby (Bledel) had a plan. Do well in high school, thereby receiving a great college scholarship. Now that she's finally graduated, it's time for her to find a gorgeous loft apartment and land her dream job at the city's best publishing house. But when Jessica Bard (Reitman), Ryden's college nemesis steals her perfect job, Ryden is forced to move back to her childhood home. Stuck with her eccentric family – a stubborn do-it-yourself dad (Keaton), an overly thrifty mom (Lynch), a politically incorrect grandma (Burnett), a very odd little brother (Coleman) – and a growing stack of rejected job applications, Ryden starts to feel like she’s going nowhere. The only upside is spending time with her best friend, Adam (Zach Gilford) – and running into her hot next-door neighbor, David (Santoro). But if Ryden's going to survive life as a post grad, it may be time to come up with a new plan...

This movie is great . . . . . . . . . . . for teenage girls ages 11 - 17 or those of you that have the mentality of teenage girls ages 11 - 17. I went to see this with Stinka (and because I have a movie seeing addiction) and she liked it. I would go ahead and essentially tell you that this movie was Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants 3 except Alexis Bledel's family really made this movie more watchable than that. Her mother, grandmother, and brother were all very weird and provided enough laughs that it wasn't a downright painful experience. The movie itself is beyond predictable and formula. You know everything just by watching the commercial and its your textbook teeny bopper movie. The one rant I have to make is how hard it is to watch Michael Keaton now playing these corny dad roles. It is just downright painful how Michael Keaton (as well as Matthew Broderick) were icons to me when I was growing up. This guy was downright hilarious and he was Batman, people!!! Now he has fallen so far that he is the dad in Post Grad!?! Its just sad and it cuts real deep.

I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone unless you are the aforementioned 11 - 17 year old or have the mentality of someone that age and gender. If you fall under those categories - go check it out!

The Time Traveler's Wife

The Time Traveler's Wife is based on the best-selling book about a love that transcends time. Clare (Rachel McAdams) has been in love with Henry (Eric Bana) her entire life. She believes they are destined to be together, even though she never knows when they will be separated: Henry is a time traveler—cursed with a rare genetic anomaly that causes him to live his life on a shifting timeline, skipping back and forth through his lifespan with no control. Despite the fact that Henry's travels force them apart with no warning, Clare desperately tries to build a life with her one true love.

This movie is just plain dumb. Seriously. This is a movie that only girls who like to cry just for the sake of crying could like. It was a silly sapfest that the director/editor barely bothered to actually put together. It was essentially a bunch of vignette conversations between Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana that were just mushed together and thrown up on the screen. There were numerous times where you couldn't even tell at what point in the overall "story" the scene was taking place. Then, as if the movie wasn't absurd enough, they introduced the baby portion of the "story" that just made me get that "what the f@ck" look on my face. It then stayed there for the rest of this movie as it continued to get dumber and dumber.

This movie is garbage. I wouldn't recommend anyone wasting their money or time on this. Its just plain silly. They try to take themselves seriously but when audience members are laughing out loud at some of the most serious scenes - you've clearly missed your mark.

District 9

28 years ago, aliens made first contact with Earth. Humans waited for the hostile attack, or the giant advances in technology. Neither came. Instead, the aliens were refugees, the last survivors of their home world. The creatures were set up in a makeshift home in South Africa's "District 9" as the world's nations argued over what to do with them. Now, patience over the alien situation has run out. Control over the aliens has been contracted out to Multi-National United (MNU), a private company uninterested in the aliens' welfare – they will receive tremendous profits if they can make the aliens' awesome weaponry work. So far, they have failed; activation of the weaponry requires alien DNA. The tension between the aliens and the humans comes to a head when an MNU field operative, Wikus van der Merwe (Sharlto Copley), contracts a mysterious virus that begins changing his DNA. Wikus quickly becomes the most hunted man in the world, as well as the most valuable – he is the key to unlocking the secrets of alien technology. Ostracized and friendless, there is only one place left for him to hide: District 9.

This is a very tough movie to review without knowing the specific person that you are recommending it to. I loved it. I think its one of the better movies to come out this year. I have always been a big fan of sci-fi and this movie is a great sci-fi movie. It takes you to an alternate world and does a good job that you can believe it really exists. The story and how it is developed is very well scripted. It has well written political themes. Besides all that, I just kept telling myself that this was a 30 million budgeted sci-fi movie and I loved it. However, it is completely not a mainstream movie. I could see 75% of the people that see this based on the marketing campaign hating this movie. It reminded me a lot of Blair Witch Project. I saw an advance viewing of that movie a month before it came out and thought it was phenomenal, especially based on how simple it was. Then the marketing came out hyping it as the "scariest movie of all time" and people went in to the movie with such massive expectations that most ended up disappointed. This movie is awesome for what it is, but if you are expecting a major blockbuster type movie - you will be completely disappointed.

I can't blindly recommend this movie to anyone. I can say that I absolutely loved the movie. It was a well written sci-fi movie that suceeded in taking you to a alternate version of our world.

Bandslam

Aly Michalka and Vanessa Hudgens join Gaelan Connell, Scott Porter and Lisa Kudrow in the music-driven comedy Bandslam. When gifted singer-songwriter Charlotte Banks (Michalka) asks new kid in town Will Burton (Connell) to manage her fledgling rock band, she appears to have just one goal in mind: go head-to-head against her egotistical musician ex-boyfriend, Ben (Porter), at the biggest event of the year, a battle of the bands.Against all odds, their band develops a sound all its own with a real shot at success in the contest. Meanwhile, romance brews between Will and Sam (Hudgens), who plays a mean guitar and has a voice to die for. When disaster strikes, it's time for the band to make a choice: Do they admit defeat, or face the music and stand up for what they believe in?

Never in my life have I been more embarassed or shocked to write something like what I'm about to write. Here goes. I loved this movie. Its out there. I can't take it back. Everyone reading this will know now. I loved Bandslam. Its beyond formula. Its beyond cliche in every way possible. Its a girly teeny bopper movie. And I loved it. This will forevermore be on my top ten list of guilty pleasure movies. I don't know if I loved it just because Stinka loved it so much (her favorite movie of all time now knocking off Step Up 2 The Streets) or not, but I can't tell a lie when it comes to movie reviews. I loved Bandslam.

Even with my above admittal, I can't fully recommend that everyone go and check this out. It is not a good movie. I just loved it. If you have kids - they too will love it. If you are a teenage girl - it will challenge Step Up 2 The Streets for your fave of all time.

Ponyo

Ponyo is a story inspired by Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tale The Little Mermaid. Already a box-office success in Japan, the story of a young and overeager goldfish named Ponyo (voiced by Noah Cyrus) and her quest to become human.

This is NOT your normal, run of the mill animated movie. Its one hell of a tough sell for mainstream kids and adults wanting to see you usual Disney fare. That being said, I really enjoyed the movie. Its weird and very foreign, but very well done. The animation seemed so simple, yet perfectly done. There really isn't too much more that can be said about this movie.

I'd have to know who I was recommending this movie to specifically in order to decide whether to say yay or nay. Its not a simple animated movie. It has in depth themes and foreign ways of translating them that handicap me from doing so. I happen to love it though.

A Perfect Getaway

Cliff and Cydney (Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich) are an adventurous young couple celebrating their honeymoon by backpacking to one of the most beautiful, and remote, beaches in Hawaii. Hiking the wild, secluded trails, they believe they’ve found paradise. But when the pair comes across a group of frightened hikers discussing the horrifying murder of another newlywed couple on the islands, they begin to question whether they should turn back. Unsure whether to stay or flee, Cliff and Cydney join up with two other couples, and things begin to go terrifyingly wrong. Far from civilization or rescue, everyone begins to look like a threat and nobody knows whom to trust. Paradise becomes hell on earth as a brutal battle for survival begins...

This movie is a humongously huge turd. Its the most boring "suspense" movie I've ever seen. Its basically an hour of watching four people talk while hiking and then there is this "mega twist" that I actually called a month ago when watching the commercial. To make matters worse, there is still another 30 minutes after the major twist is revealed. The trick with these twists is that it has to be a much more climactic reveal. This movie was downright horrible. And for the record - I don't think I will ever be able to watch Milla Jovovich speak and not hear her saying "Multi-Pass" over and over again.

I wouldn't recommend that anyone check out this movie . . . . . . . ever. Seriously. The print of the movie that I saw was scratched and had two lines running down the middle of it. I'm dead serious when I say it was more enjoyable watching the scratch than the movie itself.

G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra

From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite G.I. JOE team uses the latest in next-generation spy and military equipment to fight the corrupt arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious Cobra organization to prevent them from plunging the world into chaos.

I was so geeked out when I heard that they were making this movie. I was a HUGE G.I. Joe fan when I was a kid and loved placing the names of all the characters with the marketing stuff that was coming out. There were a couple of years there where I used to carry my Snake Eyes figure with me everywhere. He was a favorite of mine on par with Yoda, people!!! Then, I saw the trailers for this movie and figured it was going to be horrible. However, I'm not sure if its because they made me have such low expectations or what but this was a simple summer popcorn movie action flick that ends up being easily enjoyable. Snake Eyes was worth the price of admission alone. The action was over the top and the script was beyond corny. However, its fun. Its not going to be winning any awards or gettting critical acclaim whatsoever, but its just plain fun. And for those of you that are G.I. Joe fans, this movie actually did an awesome job of laying the groundwork for character development with the intent of this becoming a movie franchise. The build up of the the villain trio of Cobra Commander, Destro and Zartan was great to the old school fans of the cartoon and toys. The only bad thing with this stuff was that I really wish they would have gone with a different mask for Cobra Commander. Just the geek in me talking out loud here.

I would recommend people checking this out. Its in no way a "good" movie, but it is a surprisingly good time at the movies considering how bad it looked. To quote my friend, "they should really kill the guy that put together the trailer for this movie."

The Collector

The Collector follows the story of handyman and ex-con Arkin, who aims to repay a debt to his ex-wife by robbing his new employer's country home. Unfortunately for Arkin, a far worse enemy has already laid claim to the property – and the family. As the seconds tick down to midnight, Arkin becomes a reluctant hero trapped by a masked "Collector" in a maze of lethal inventions while trying to rescue the very family he came to rob.

This was one hell of a f*cked up movie. It was pretty much like one of the Saw movies with a different killer. If you like those movies then you'll like this one. This killer tortures a family in their own basement and sets up all sorts of traps throughout the house. You've got a series of nails pointing up on the staircase, bear traps in the living room, razor wire crisscrossing in front of the back door and nails in the phone receivers to name a few. Its got tons of gore. The mask on the Collector is freaky. The dude never says a word but scares the hell out of you every time you see him. The only thing that really bothered me about this movie is that they killed the cat. I always get a kick out of how I have no problem seeing fingers get cut off and guys getting disembowled but if you go after the animal - Matty no likey. To make matters worse, this cat looked like my cat. I literally sat there rocking back and forth with my fingers in my ears go la-la-la-la until I was told the scene was over. NOT COOL, makers of The Collector. NOT COOL!

I'd recommend that anyone in to the nasty gory movies like Saw or Hostel go ahead and check this out. Its not a scary movie as much as its an ewwwww fest of human torture. But its a pretty good low budget attempt at an alternate Saw franchise.