Challengers

Tashi, a tennis player turned coach, has transformed her husband from a mediocre player into a world-famous grand slam champion. To jolt him out of his recent losing streak, she makes him play a challenger event -- close to the lowest level of tournament on the pro tour. Tensions soon run high when he finds himself standing across the net from the once-promising, now burnt-out Patrick, his former best friend and Tashi's former boyfriend.

This movie was banking on the sexual tension between the three leads but quite honestly I just wasn't feeling it.  Like it seemed very forced for all of them.  Plus there was a very weird use of loud music at very strange times throughout the movie to try and raise the tension and that backfired too.  

I wouldn't recommend anyone bothering with this.  It could have been so much better and is pretty much just a waste of time.

Abigail

A group of would-be criminals kidnaps the 12-year-old daughter of a powerful underworld figure. Holding her for ransom in an isolated mansion, their plan starts to unravel when they discover their young captive is actually a bloodthirsty vampire.

So there are two ways to look at this movie.   If you are entertained but a violent gorefest of a movie this is actually a decent watch.  Like there was plenty of those things throughout building to a ridiculous over the top ending that went next level with a ton of blood.  However, from a story standpoint when your main swerve that takes like 45 minutes to get to has been blatantly revealed for months in advance by the trailer - that massively takes away from the movie.   Like you are watching the first half knowing what is going to happen even though the characters don't and it makes it pretty silly because of that.  

I would not really recommend anyone bothering with this unless you like seeing tons of blood.  That story spoiler was really ridiculous in hindsight and really ruined the movie.

The Ministry Of Ungentlemanly Warfare

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is a true story inspired action movie with Henry Cavill leading a covert group in WWII missions. Guy Ritchie's film highlights the Special Operations Executive's lesser-known events during WWII under Winston Churchill's command.

This was just a fun movie.  A simple and fun action movie with good chemistry and laughs from the cast and enjoyable action.   The story was honestly irrelevant because this was just a nice and simple ride of a movie that you can enjoy.

I would recommend people checking this out.   It's not a must see by any means but its a fun watch.

Sting

Charlotte is a rebellious 12-year-old girl who finds a tiny spider in her rundown apartment building. She keeps it in a jar, but it soon starts to grow at a monstrous rate and develop an insatiable appetite for blood. As her neighbors begin to disappear, Charlotte and her family find themselves in a desperate fight for their lives against a ravenous arachnid with a taste for human flesh.

Um . . . . . how in the hell was this a movie released in theaters?  This felt like a made at home movie.  Was a little excited and hoping for a Cocaine Bear type movie but was massively disappointed.   This movie was awful.

I would not recommend anyone bothering with this.  Ever.  Like at all.

Civil War

In a dystopian future America, a team of military-embedded journalists races against time to reach Washington, D.C., before rebel factions descend upon the White House.

This was a really well done movie but calling it a "dystopian" future doesn't distract from the fact that it seems like this is much closer to a reality than we want it to be.   There was great character development movie with rising tension from start to finish.  I get the whole portraying the reporters in the way that they did in this movie but I actually felt like that took away from it a little bit and held the movie back from being fully WTF level.

I would recommend people checking this out.  It was a edgy and enjoyable watch even though it was definitely a little too close for comfort at times.

Monkey Man

A young man ekes out a meager living in an underground fight club where, night after night, wearing a gorilla mask, he's beaten bloody by more popular fighters for cash. After years of suppressed rage, he discovers a way to infiltrate the enclave of the city's sinister elite. As his childhood trauma boils over, his mysteriously scarred hands unleash an explosive campaign of retribution to settle the score with the men who took everything from him.

This movie is pretty much exactly what you thought it would be from the trailer.  It was an Indian version of John Wick sort of.  Crazy over the top action.  Crazy fight scenes.   The thing that really separated this for me though was the fact that Dev Patel wrote, directed and starred in this.  That really made this whole thing impressive as hell.  So the dude was in this crazy scenes with the quick editing and very intense filming style but he was also doing said filming style?  Very impressive.

I would definitely recommend this movie to action movie fans.  It's a hard R for violence but as long as you are okay with that it is a very enjoyable watch.

The First Omen

A woman starts to question her own faith when she uncovers a terrifying conspiracy to bring about the birth of evil incarnate in Rome.

Yet another exorcism movie.  Like literally one came out two weeks ago?   Nothing special about this one.  More of the repetitive same old stuff that honestly bores the hell out of me too much to ever be seen as scary at all.

I would not recommend people bothering with this at all.  It's very much a waste of time.

Cabrini

Arriving in New York City in 1889, Italian immigrant Francesca Cabrini is greeted by disease, crime and impoverished children. She soon sets off on a daring mission to convince the mayor to secure housing and health care for society's most vulnerable. With broken English and poor health, Cabrini uses her entrepreneurial mind to build an empire of hope unlike anything the world has ever seen.

This was a pretty good movie.  It was definitely a little too long but kept you interested enough to continue watching.  With all of the questionable bio pics being worth it or not this one felt like it was about a person in history most knew nothing about.  

I would recommend people checking this out.  It's not a must see by any means but it was a decent watch.

The American Society Of Magical Negroes

A young man gets recruited into a secret society of magical Black people who dedicate their lives to making white people's lives easier. Although initially enamored with his new powers, he begins to question the value of using supernatural means to do the very thing he's felt obligated to do his whole life.

The concept of this movie was very tongue in cheek and sarcastic and was more than enough of a hook to keep me watching.  Even though it ended up being pretty formula they definitely were able to deliver on the central idea and keep you laughing throughout while at the same time keeping your eyes open to a lot of things.

I would recommend people checking this out.  It is a very smart and fun watch.

Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire

Godzilla and the almighty Kong face a colossal threat hidden deep within the planet, challenging their very existence and the survival of the human race.

This was very much a money grab sequel.  Like once the humans in the story are only there to basically narrate certain parts these movies have jumped the shark.   Like it honestly felt like a Transformers movie.  Very disappointing and very forgettable.

I wouldn't really recommend anyone bothering with this.  It was mailed in, pretty silly and overall pointless and forgettable.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

The Spengler family returns to the iconic New York City firehouse where the original Ghostbusters have taken ghost-busting to the next level. When the discovery of an ancient artifact unleashes an evil force, Ghostbusters new and old must unite to protect their home and save the world from a second ice age.

This was a weird movie to watch/review.  Like you kind of enjoyed it while watching it but it's pretty forgettable like right after you move the theater.  These movies have done like a weird transition where its really for a completely younger generation and those of us who the movie was iconic for back in the 80s are there for the nostalgia and stuff but like it doesn't hit with us as much as it used to.

I would still recommend people checking this out because it is an enjoyable watch but it's no where near the event movie feeling that it used to be.

Immaculate

An American nun embarks on a new journey when she joins a remote convent in the Italian countryside. However, her warm welcome quickly turns into a living nightmare when she discovers her new home harbours a sinister secret and unspeakable horrors.

This movie was just another run of the mill religious scary movie that ends up being not really scary at all and just there.  There might have been one scene in the movie that made me jump and would make me think twice about going into a confessional if it ever seemed like that was likely to happen but that was it.  

I would not recommend anyone bothering with this movie - regardless of how buzz worthy Sydney Sweeney is.  Her usual marketing is not remotely on display here so pass.

Love Lies Bleeding

Lou is a reclusive gym manager who falls hard for Jackie, an ambitious bodybuilder who's heading to Las Vegas to pursue her dream. Their love soon leads to violence as they get pulled deep into the web of Lou's criminal family.

What in the blue hell was this?   This was like a made for blu ray wannabe Tarantino movie.  And it was ultimately yet another example of Kristen Stewart being in a movie guaranteeing that it is hot garbage.   This movie was only finished because of how many times I kept looking at it like WTF.

I would absolutely not recommend anyone wasting their time with this.  It was hot garbage.

Arthur The King

Desperate for one last chance to win, Michael Light convinces a sponsor to back him and a team of athletes for the Adventure Racing World Championship in the Dominican Republic. As the team gets pushed to the outer limits of endurance, a dog named Arthur comes along for the ride, redefining what victory, loyalty and friendship truly means.

This was easily one of the most formula and heartstring pulling movies ever.  But I didn't care.  I loved this movie from start to finish and found myself so caught up in the team's travel and the bond of the dog.  It made me want to come home and just hang out with my pet because this was an excellent movie for any animal lover.

I would definitely recommend any animal lover seeing this.  Again - it is beyond formula and predictable but I just didn't care because I was hooked.

Imaginary

When Jessica moves back into her childhood home with her family, her youngest stepdaughter, Alice, finds a stuffed bear named Chauncey. As Alice's behavior becomes more and more concerning, Jessica intervenes only to realize that Chauncey is much more than the stuffed toy bear she believed him to be.

This movie was trash.  Hella trash.  Nothing happened for like an hour and 15 minutes.  And then when it did it was like cartoonish and cheesy.   I thought that there would be at least a little something of substance here with how much they had marketed it.  But I was very much wrong.  This is a lock for Bottom 10 movies of the year.

I would not recommend that anyone bother with this movie.  Ever.  It really was god awful.

Kung Fu Panda 4

Po must train a new warrior when he's chosen to become the spiritual leader of the Valley of Peace. However, when a powerful shape-shifting sorceress sets her eyes on his Staff of Wisdom, he suddenly realizes he's going to need some help. Teaming up with a quick-witted corsac fox, Po soon discovers that heroes can be found in the most unexpected places.

The original Kung Fu Panda is probably one of my favorite animated movies ever.   And the character really doesn't get old to me.  Love all the movies.  Have watched all the cartoon seasons that have been made on different streamers.   Never get sick of it.  And this movie was more of the same.  Plenty of laughs.   Plenty of great voices.  And the story was actually really enjoyable for a movie four franchises in.   

I would definitely recommend people checking this out.  It was a very fun trip to the movies.

Dune Part Two

Paul Atreides unites with Chani and the Fremen while seeking revenge against the conspirators who destroyed his family. Facing a choice between the love of his life and the fate of the universe, he must prevent a terrible future only he can foresee.

I always found the original to be a little too sci-fi even though I watched it a ton of times as a kid.  I watched the first one at a time where my head was not fully in it and thought it was eh.  I rewatched it last week because of this one coming out and was shocked at how good the movie actually was and enjoyed it a ton more.   This one was even better than that one.  Like credit where its due - when a movie is almost 3 hours long and you wish that they would have given certain aspects more time you have done a great job with this movie.  The cast was awesome.  The action was awesome and the sci-fi rule of taking you fully to that world definitely worked amazingly.

I would definitely recommend people checking this movie out.  Especially in theaters.  This is the type of movie that makes going to the movies so enjoyable.

Ordinary Angels

A struggling hairdresser finds a renewed sense of purpose when she meets a widowed father working hard to care for his two daughters. With his youngest critically ill and waiting for a liver transplant, the fierce woman single-handedly rallies an entire community to help.

This is one of those annual faith above all movies where every heartstring is pulled mercilessly and what not.   These movies are either waaaaaaay too much or actually very enjoyable watches if done right.  This one was done right and I liked it very much even though I knew what a sap fest it would be.  It was done well enough that you get caught up in the story even though you know how it's gonna go.  The two lead actors did a really good job with their parts.

I would recommend anyone who is feeling down and at the end of their rope checking this out.  It could definitely inspire you in one way or another hopefully.

Drive-Away Dolls

In search of a fresh start, two women embark on an impromptu road trip to Tallahassee, Fla. However, things quickly go awry when they cross paths with a group of inept criminals along the way.

The Coen Brothers are one of those directors where the movies are always greatly reviewed and I am left like what the hell did I just watch.   This one was only one of them so I was hoping that the movie would be a little more watchable.  It kind of was.  But it was still a very random and weird movie.  Had some good quirky laughs but a lot of WTF moments.   The best part is that it is incredibly short and wastes no time with any kind of unnecessary build and what not.

I would still not really recommend anyone rushing to see this.  It's not a bad movie but it's honestly not that good either.

Madame Web

Cassandra Webb is a New York City paramedic who starts to show signs of clairvoyance. Forced to confront revelations about her past, she must protect three young women from a mysterious adversary who wants them dead.

Yuck.  Just yuck.  This was such a pointless turd of a movie in every way.  The script was crap.  The story was crap.  The acting was crap.  Sony's handling of all things Spider-Man not under the control of Marvel is off the charts bad.   Like I'm not even sure that this was like a legit movie.  It was like a really lame set up for something that is clearly never going to happen.  What in God's name was the thought process here?

I would never recommend anyone watching this.  Ever.  You essentially forget about it as you are watching it.

Lisa Frankenstein

A misunderstood teenager and a reanimated Victorian corpse embark on a murderous journey together to find love, happiness, and a few missing body parts.

What in the blue hell was this?  I basically watched almost the whole movie asking that question before I snapped out of it and moved on.   There was like a tongue in cheek kind of approach that made me hope a little bit that it would pay off or make it worth watching but that very much did not happen.

I would not recommend anyone bothering with this.  I honestly have no idea why this movie was made and even more questionable is how it got a wide release.

Bob Marley: One Love

Jamaican singer-songwriter Bob Marley overcomes adversity to become the most famous reggae musician in the world.

This was a very enjoyable biopic pic.   The performances were great across the board.   I loved that they didn't americanize it too much by like losing accents and what not.  The pacing was a little bit slow but it was still a very enjoyable watch.

I would definitely recommend people checking this out.   Biopic pics are usually very hit or miss for me and this one definitely stuck the landing very much because of the acting.

Argylle

Reclusive author Elly Conway writes best-selling espionage novels about a secret agent named Argylle who's on a mission to unravel a global spy syndicate. However, when the plots of her books start to mirror the covert actions of a real-life spy organization, the line between fiction and reality begin to blur.

This movie was alot of fun.  Was it realistic?  No.  Not at all.  But it was just a very fun ride when you turn your mind off.  It had a great cast, was paced really well and had a bunch of twists and turns throughout to keep you guessing.  Even though the action was beyond over the top at times it still worked really really well.

I would definitely recommend people checking this out.  It was just a very fun watch with lots of big laughs too.

The Book Of Clarence

A down-on-his-luck man struggles to find a better life for his family while fighting to free himself of debt. Captivated by the power and glory of the rising Messiah, he risks everything to carve his own path to a divine life, ultimately discovering that the redemptive power of belief may be his only way out.  

Another movie that I really liked the premise of but the pacing and how it played out kind of lost the hook.  It kept going back and forth between being a satirical comedy and a character drama.   This reminded me alot of a bit coming off of the show Atlanta where it might have been too smart for its own good to fully deliver.

I would lukewarmly recommend this movie only because of the spiritual satire that I found kind of entertaining.   Otherwise, its not a bad movie but its not great either.

I.S.S.

Tensions flare in the near future aboard the International Space Station when a worldwide conflict breaks out on Earth. Soon, the U.S. and Russian astronauts each receive orders from the ground: take control of the station by any means necessary.

This was actually a really good premise and the movie was actually really good as it started to play out and stuff but it didn't really pay off after that.   The pacing kind of went eh and the hook that they had let up.  Kind of disappointing because it actually had a lot of good supporting actors and actresses in it that you recognize from other shows and movies but have no clue what their name is.

I would lukewarmly recommend this movie.  It's not a bad watch.  They just kind of dropped the ball as the movie went on from a really interesting premise.

Mean Girls

New student Cady Heron gets welcomed into the top of the social food chain by an elite group of popular girls called the Plastics, ruled by the conniving queen bee Regina George. However, when Cady makes the major misstep of falling for Regina's ex-boyfriend, she soon finds herself caught in their crosshairs.

Was always a fan of the original movie.  Was a fan of the musical.   So was kind of psyched to see the movie version of the musical for a whole new generation.  Was a little nervous that they went out of their way to not advertise it as a musical but ended up loving the movie.  There were great shout outs to the originals.  The songs from the musical translated really well in the movie.  The new crew of actors were great and seeing it in a sold out nostalgia enjoying audience made it a pretty fun experience.

I would definitely recommend people checking this movie out.  It was a very fun watch with some huge laughs.

The Beekeeper

One man's brutal campaign for vengeance takes on national stakes after it's revealed he's a former operative of a powerful and clandestine organization known as Beekeepers.

The Beekeeper ……… Transporter 32 ……….. Jason Statham 71.   Doesn’t really matter what you call this.  It’s just another Statham movie without The Meg.  Fights for the rights of a victim friend.  Kick kick kick punch punch punch.  Roll credits.  You see it because of the mindless escape and you forget about it twenty minutes later.

If you like his repetitive movies check it out.  It’s more of the same.  If you don’t why would you start now?  

Night Swim

Forced into early retirement by a degenerative illness, former baseball player Ray Waller moves into a new house with his wife and two children. He hopes that the backyard swimming pool will be fun for the kids and provide physical therapy for himself. However, a dark secret from the home's past soon unleashes a malevolent force that drags the family into the depths of inescapable terror.

This movie was trash.  Complete and total trash.  No scares.  No suspense.  A textbook lame January horror movie that is a waste of 90 minutes.

I wouldn’t recommend anyone bothering with this.  Ever.

American Fiction

Monk is a frustrated novelist who's fed up with the establishment that profits from Black entertainment that relies on tired and offensive tropes. To prove his point, he uses a pen name to write an outlandish Black book of his own, a book that propels him to the heart of hypocrisy and the madness he claims to disdain.

The social commentary of this movie was priceless.  Constantly made you go back and forth between laughing and being like that is so messed up.  The evolution of how it played out was also a great hook and made this movie a great watch.

I would definitely recommend people checking this out.  It was a very enjoyable well written movie.

The Ten Best Movies Of 2023

 Honorable Mention - Air

For a movie about a sneaker contract to be this entertaining and hook you so much is very, very impressive.  You find yourself hanging on with all sorts of emotions to what literally amounts to the signing of a sneaker sponsorship.

10 - The Creator

I am a huge fan of sci-fi done well.  When they take you to the alternate world that they have created and make you feel like it could actually be a thing then I am all in.  This movie did this very well and solidified Gareth Edwards as an awesome sci-fi director.

9 - Sound Of Freedom

Take out all the politics surrounding this movie and the people that made it and just watch it and this is an awesome movie and very well done.  The child actors were incredible.  This movie was definitely helped by the personal story of seeing it that even further solidified it as a movie I will never forget.

8 - Wonka

I was beyond suspect about this movie because of what the original has meant to me.  This movie did an excellent job of capturing the same whimsy and imagination of the first one.   I thoroughly enjoyed this.

7 - Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning Part 1

It's a shame that this movie got killed box office wise by the whole Barbienhopper thing because it really was an awesome movie and another great entry in the franchise.  Like if you enjoy action movies this movie was easily the best action of the year.  

6 - Guardians Of The Galaxy Volume 3

This was easily Marvel's best movie post Endgame so far.  It was a very fitting end to the trilogy and this absurd group of characters that we have grown to love.  I really hope James Gunn can carry this magic over to the DCEU and make it worthy rival to what Marvel was for the first 10 years.

5 - Killers Of The Flower Moon

I wish that this movie was not so crazy long but it was a very well done movie across the board.  This should easily be an awards season frontrunner on every level.  

4 - The Boys In The Boat

A very well done sports underdog movie that has you cheering throughout the movie and invested in pretty much every character.

3 - Leave The World Behind

This was a Netflix movie that was a real thinker with excellent social commentary.  Lots of people were annoyed by the ending but I honestly thought that was the most brilliant part of it.   Made me laugh out loud at myself.

2 - Cocaine Bear

This movie will likely go down as the best guilty pleasure movie ever.  I remember seeing the trailer and being like there is no way this is a thing.   I saw this movie twice in theaters and five times overall and laugh my ass off every time.   Few things can be more entertaining then when a movie doesn't take itself to seriously and really embraces the ridiculousness.

1 - Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse

There really was no contest of this movie as the best one for me this year.   This movie built amazingly on the awesome original.  The story is genius and keeps you hanging on every scene so much that you forget that you are watching an animated movie.  

The Ten Worst Movies Of 2023

 Dishonorable Mention - The Marvels

While it didn't make the 10 worst movies and honestly wasn't as close as others, this was another trainwreck of a movie for Marvel post-Endgame that has become incredibly concerning.  This movie was beyond flawed in sooooooo many ways and they really need to right the ship asap.

10 - 65

What the hell was this.  A barely 90 minute movie with little to no story where Adam Driver crashes a spaceship back in time where the dinosaurs are?   Why?   Who was asking for this movie?

9 - Magic Mike's Last Dance

A - How did this franchise end up as a trilogy?   B - How did they think that making a movie that was about as sexy as watching paint dry be a good idea?   This was such a mailed in money grab.   

8 - Thanksgiving

A serial killer pilgrim terrifies a town after a Black Friday Walmart incident from the previous year.   Read that again.  That was the movie.   Thanksgiving was always missing its own serial killer and luckily we found it in 2023.

7 - Winnie the Pooh: Blood And Honey

I'm still having a hard time accepting that this actually happened.  Even more alarming is that this might become a thing with other children's fables being turned into horror movies.  REALLY!?!?   Such total trash.

6 - Aquaman And The Lost Kingdom

And the DCEU as we knew it comes to an end with the biggest dud thud ever.  LOL!   This was so bad on so many levels and it was like they knew it.  Such a waste of time and money.   Honestly should have just owned that is was pointless and released it on Max instead.

5 - Meg 2: The Trench

How do you mess up such an obvious guilty pleasure movie?   The first one was great because it owned what it was.  This one tried for like a story and showed little to no Meg until like the last 1/3 of the movie.  Nobody is putting this on to watch Jason Stratham act.  Trust me.

4 - Expendables 4

Come on!  This is up to number 4?  Stop it!  This was completely a direct to blu ray kind of movie that got a theatrical release.  No clue why.  Between covid and the two writer strikes these are the kind of movies that break through.  Yuck!

3 - Beau Is Afraid

This is one of two movies that will show up on most movie critics best movies of 2023 lists but is on my worst.  This movie was THREE HOURS LONG.  I made it about 1/3 through the movie being beyond bored an not remotely understanding what was supposed to be so great about it.   Hate movies like this.

2 - Asteroid City

Here is the other movie that will show up on several critics top 10 lists.  I keep trying with Paul Anderson movies.  I want to like them.  The casts are always incredible because everyone wants to work with this guy but the movies are just babbling garbage to me.  So annoying.  

1 - Transformers: Rise Of The Beasts

My hatred of the Transformers franchise after the absolutely amazing original one is very well documented.  I swore off going to see them any more after the last one.  Only saw this one because of the movie pass thing I have.  Once a Transformer puked nuts and bolts I was out.  I really wish this franchise would die so bad.