In Epic Movie, the story centers on four not-so-young orphans: one raised by a curator at the Louvre (where an albino assassin lurks), another a refugee from Mexican "libre" wrestling, the third a recent victim of snakes on her plane, and the fourth a "normal" resident of a mutant "X"-community. The hapless quartet visits a chocolate factory, where they stumble into an enchanted wardrobe that transports them to the land of Gnarnia. There they meet a flamboyant pirate captain and earnest students of wizardry – and join forces with a lion to defeat the evil White Bitch of Gnarnia.
Why do these movies keep getting made? Yes, Airplane was a classic. Yes, the original Scary Movie was actually pretty funny. However, the 3 sequels to Scary Movie, Date Movie, and now this are so beyond not funny. It's like you watch them praying for something as small as a chuckle. I might have laughed 2 to 3 times throughout the hour and a half that these piece of dung was on the screen. This one is by far one of the worst parody movies ever and they really need to stop making this crapola.
Needless to say, I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone. Ever. Don't see it in theaters. Don't rent it. Change the channel if it's on your tv, people!
Pan's Labyrinth
Pan's Labyrinth is a story set against the backdrop of a fascist regime in 1944 rural Spain. The film centers on Ofelia, a lonely and dreamy child living with her mother and adoptive father; a military officer tasked with ridding the area of rebels. In her loneliness, Ofelia creates a world filled with fantastical creatures and secret destinies. With post-war repression at its height, Ofelia must come to terms with her world through a fable of her own creation.
This is one of those movies where I think I heard too much about how great it was before seeing. I literally felt myself sitting through big portions of the movie asking myself why would people think this was so good. The movie wasn't bad at all. I actually liked it alot. It just wasn't nearly as good as everyone had said it was. The only real downer for me was that I was all psyched about the fantasy part of this movie and as it turns out - that is only half of the movie. The other half took place in 1944 real time. I wish that a lot more of the movie would have taken place in the fantasy realm. I should probably also specifically note that this is a foreign movie with subtitles. I know that I would hate myself if I was a reader and went to see the movie not knowing that.
I would recommend this movie to all, but with no rush whatsoever. If it's playing near you and have the time, check it out. Otherwise, it's a good rental.
This is one of those movies where I think I heard too much about how great it was before seeing. I literally felt myself sitting through big portions of the movie asking myself why would people think this was so good. The movie wasn't bad at all. I actually liked it alot. It just wasn't nearly as good as everyone had said it was. The only real downer for me was that I was all psyched about the fantasy part of this movie and as it turns out - that is only half of the movie. The other half took place in 1944 real time. I wish that a lot more of the movie would have taken place in the fantasy realm. I should probably also specifically note that this is a foreign movie with subtitles. I know that I would hate myself if I was a reader and went to see the movie not knowing that.
I would recommend this movie to all, but with no rush whatsoever. If it's playing near you and have the time, check it out. Otherwise, it's a good rental.
The Queen
When news of the death of Princess Diana, undoubtedly the most famous woman in the world, breaks upon a shocked and disbelieving British public, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II retreats behind the walls of Balmoral Castle with her family, unable to comprehend the public response to the tragedy. For Tony Blair, the popular and newly elected Prime Minister, the people's need for reassurance and support from their leaders is palpable. As the unprecedented outpouring of emotion grows ever stronger, Blair must find a way to reconnect the Queen with the British public.
I thought that this was a pretty good movie with great acting performances by all. Unfortunately, I was never really in to the whole Princess Diana thing so I'm thinking that kind of took the wind out of the movie's sails for me. However, Wonder Woman loved the movie and I'm going to allow her to do the review on this one . . . . .
I got to tell you that when the whole Princess Diana thing happened I was very annoyed at the Royal family for how they handled everything. I thought that they were so wrong for basically not bothering to acknowledge anything regarding the death of someone so important. This movie was so well done that it actually made me come out understanding the queen's thinking and respecting her that much more. I enjoyed the movie very much.
Wonder Woman recommends this movie to all who liked Princess Diana and/or knows about the whole original story. Mr. Cinco agrees. Never doubt the opinion of Wonder Woman, people!
I thought that this was a pretty good movie with great acting performances by all. Unfortunately, I was never really in to the whole Princess Diana thing so I'm thinking that kind of took the wind out of the movie's sails for me. However, Wonder Woman loved the movie and I'm going to allow her to do the review on this one . . . . .
I got to tell you that when the whole Princess Diana thing happened I was very annoyed at the Royal family for how they handled everything. I thought that they were so wrong for basically not bothering to acknowledge anything regarding the death of someone so important. This movie was so well done that it actually made me come out understanding the queen's thinking and respecting her that much more. I enjoyed the movie very much.
Wonder Woman recommends this movie to all who liked Princess Diana and/or knows about the whole original story. Mr. Cinco agrees. Never doubt the opinion of Wonder Woman, people!
The Hitcher
The Hitcher tracks Grace Andrews (Sophia Bush) and Jim Halsey (Zachary Knighton), a collegiate couple who are tormented by the mysterious hitchhiker John Ryder, a.k.a. The Hitcher (Sean Bean).The young couple hit the road in a 1970 Oldsmobile 442, en route to spring break. But their pleasure trip soon turns into a waking nightmare. The initial encounters with Ryder are increasingly off-putting for Grace and Jim, and they bravely fight back when he ambushes them. But they are truly blindsided when he implicates them in a horrific slaying and continues to shadow them.The open road becomes a suspenseful, action-packed battleground of blood and metal as, in trying to elude not only Ryder but also New Mexico State Police Lieutenant Esteridge's (Neal McDonough) officers, Grace and Jim must fight for their lives and face their fears head-on.
I certainly didn't go in to this movie could never have been an amazing film. I figured it would be a cheesy horror movie. How this movie managed to be lamer than I expected is beyond me. The movie was completely pointless. The worst part of it all was that Ryder kept telling people to "figure it out" when they asked him why he was doing this and then they never told you why. What the hell is that about!?! Besides the fact that if you are almost killed by a hitchhiker and manage to elude him - why do you not drive far far away? The dude pulled over and took a nap after escaping from the psycho. I wouldn't be able to sleep for a week after going through something like that. This movie is the dictionary definition of absurd.
I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's poop.
I certainly didn't go in to this movie could never have been an amazing film. I figured it would be a cheesy horror movie. How this movie managed to be lamer than I expected is beyond me. The movie was completely pointless. The worst part of it all was that Ryder kept telling people to "figure it out" when they asked him why he was doing this and then they never told you why. What the hell is that about!?! Besides the fact that if you are almost killed by a hitchhiker and manage to elude him - why do you not drive far far away? The dude pulled over and took a nap after escaping from the psycho. I wouldn't be able to sleep for a week after going through something like that. This movie is the dictionary definition of absurd.
I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's poop.
Alpha Dog
In the sprawling, privileged neighborhoods around L.A., bored teenagers with too much time and too much money string one hazy day into another. When you're living without any consequences, anything can happen. And in the hot California summer six years ago, something did. Inspired by true events, Alpha Dog follows three fateful days when the lives of a group of Southern California teens suddenly dead-ended. Johnny Truelove (Emile Hirsch) controls the drugs on the well-manicured streets of his neighborhood. Where Johnny goes, the party, the girls and his loyal gang follow. When he's double-crossed over missing deal money by raging hothead Jake (Ben Foster), Johnny and his gang impulsively kidnap Jake's little brother, Zack (Anton Yelchin), holding him as a marker and heading to Palm Springs. With no parents in sight, they grow used to having the kid around, and Zack enjoys an illicit summer fantasy of drinking, girls and new experiences. Out in the desert, Johnny and his boys lose sight that the kid is a hostage who can't just be neatly returned. As the days tick by, the options of how to get themselves out of their situation start to disappear. Good times turn bad and bad turns worse as Johnny finds himself out of his league and with no idea how to fix it...leading all these players toward a shocking conclusion they never saw coming.
I remember seeing the preview for this movie over a year ago and thinking that it looked awesome. The movie has been held up for a long time because the real life trial of Johnny Truelove is yet to have taken place and his attorneys didn't want the movie to distort the opinion of potential jurors. However, I was very disappointed with this movie. While the story is great and the preview looked awesome - the acting across the board in this movie was beyond horrid. To emphasize my point on this, Justin Timberlake plays Johnny's best friend and while he is an horrible actor - he was probably the best one in the movie. Nuff said? I thought so. Even Bruce Willis and Sharon Stone playing parents of some of the kids were really bad. And what is the deal with the fat suit on Sharon Stone at the end of this movie!?! Worst makeup job ever! You could actually see that one of her arms was inflated and it looked like her face was going to fall off or something.
This movie was a real stinker and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I had such high hopes for this movie and was really disappointed.
I remember seeing the preview for this movie over a year ago and thinking that it looked awesome. The movie has been held up for a long time because the real life trial of Johnny Truelove is yet to have taken place and his attorneys didn't want the movie to distort the opinion of potential jurors. However, I was very disappointed with this movie. While the story is great and the preview looked awesome - the acting across the board in this movie was beyond horrid. To emphasize my point on this, Justin Timberlake plays Johnny's best friend and while he is an horrible actor - he was probably the best one in the movie. Nuff said? I thought so. Even Bruce Willis and Sharon Stone playing parents of some of the kids were really bad. And what is the deal with the fat suit on Sharon Stone at the end of this movie!?! Worst makeup job ever! You could actually see that one of her arms was inflated and it looked like her face was going to fall off or something.
This movie was a real stinker and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I had such high hopes for this movie and was really disappointed.
Arthur & The Invisibles
From Luc Besson, comes a family adventure about a boy who, after his grandfather disappears, sets out to save his family home from emerging real estate developers. Arthur learns that he must follow his grandfather's ancient clues to a vast treasure – and unlock the passageway to a spectacular new world filled with mysterious little people, so tiny they are considered invisible, and enlist their help. But once in the magical land, Arthur must join swords with a beautiful princess and a reckless army of defenders to save the land from the evil wizard.
I loved this movie! I took my future stepdaughter to see this and the two of us couldn't have enjoyed it more. It made me think back to how much I loved movies like "The Dark Crystal" and "Labyrinth" when I was a kid. There's something about those kind of family fantasy films that completely take you in to the world they have created and you thoroughly enjoy the ride. I really enjoyed the back and forth between the real world where the farm is close to being taken and the animated world of the Mimimoys. The animation was also phenomenal and the voices were so appropriate. Snoop Dogg as the dj at one point had me laughing my ass off.
I fully recommend this movie to anyone with kids or anyone who has a soft spot for fantasy movies like this. I'm giving in the Cinco stampo of Must See. Be sure to check this one out.
I loved this movie! I took my future stepdaughter to see this and the two of us couldn't have enjoyed it more. It made me think back to how much I loved movies like "The Dark Crystal" and "Labyrinth" when I was a kid. There's something about those kind of family fantasy films that completely take you in to the world they have created and you thoroughly enjoy the ride. I really enjoyed the back and forth between the real world where the farm is close to being taken and the animated world of the Mimimoys. The animation was also phenomenal and the voices were so appropriate. Snoop Dogg as the dj at one point had me laughing my ass off.
I fully recommend this movie to anyone with kids or anyone who has a soft spot for fantasy movies like this. I'm giving in the Cinco stampo of Must See. Be sure to check this one out.
Primeval
In one of the most remote places on earth, a bloodthirsty serial killer has claimed over 300 victims, and is still at large to this day. Now, inspired by the true story of the world's most prolific killer, comes Primeval, a horror-thriller that follows an American news crew determined to capture this terrifying murderer alive. The danger begins as producer Tim Freeman (Dominic Purcell, "Prison Break"), cameraman Steven Johnson (Orlando Jones) and their rag-tag team set out on a journey up-river in search of their subject. But the deeper they probe into the mystery of this elusive assassin, the deadlier their trip becomes.
Does anything in the above summary lead you to remotely believe that the most prolific serial killer of all time is NOT a human being? I didn't think so. Because of that, this movie will go down in the history of advertising as one of the most falsely advertised movies ever! WW and I went in to this one expecting a Texas Chainsaw Massacre type thing with some sort of a serial killer in Africa. I expected cheesiness, but never in a million years thought that the most prolific serial killer in the history of the world would be . . . . . . . . a big alligator with ninja like skills named Gustav. No - I'm not kidding. I wish to God that I was, people! The movie was basically "Lake Placid" but they were trying to take themselves seriously. How in the blue hell can an alligator be considered a serial killer!?! Isn't a serial killer supposed to plan out its kills and be vindictive or something? It's an alligator! Um . . . . . . don't go near the water? The only slightly redeeming quality about this movie is that once you start to come to grips with being so incredibly duped, the alligator actually does look pretty cool when its chasing people down and stuff. Usually, filmakers screw the pooch when they try to capture that kind of stuff.
I wouldn't recommend anyone seeing this movie. Not even knowing about the whole serial killer/alligator thing. It's basically a really big pile of steaming poop . . . . . serial killing alligator poop.
Does anything in the above summary lead you to remotely believe that the most prolific serial killer of all time is NOT a human being? I didn't think so. Because of that, this movie will go down in the history of advertising as one of the most falsely advertised movies ever! WW and I went in to this one expecting a Texas Chainsaw Massacre type thing with some sort of a serial killer in Africa. I expected cheesiness, but never in a million years thought that the most prolific serial killer in the history of the world would be . . . . . . . . a big alligator with ninja like skills named Gustav. No - I'm not kidding. I wish to God that I was, people! The movie was basically "Lake Placid" but they were trying to take themselves seriously. How in the blue hell can an alligator be considered a serial killer!?! Isn't a serial killer supposed to plan out its kills and be vindictive or something? It's an alligator! Um . . . . . . don't go near the water? The only slightly redeeming quality about this movie is that once you start to come to grips with being so incredibly duped, the alligator actually does look pretty cool when its chasing people down and stuff. Usually, filmakers screw the pooch when they try to capture that kind of stuff.
I wouldn't recommend anyone seeing this movie. Not even knowing about the whole serial killer/alligator thing. It's basically a really big pile of steaming poop . . . . . serial killing alligator poop.
Happily N'Ever After
Happily N'Ever After is an animated satirical retelling of the classic story of Cinderella. Once upon a time in Fairy Tale Land, the age-old balance between good and evil has been thrown out of whack. Frieda, Cinderella's power-mad stepmother, has formed an unholy alliance of evil to take on the good guys. With her own fairy tale spinning wildly out of control, Cinderella (a/k/a Ella) is forced to shed her damsel-in-distress trappings in order to seize control of her own destiny and lead the resistance without her Prince Charming. In a world of happy endings gone wrong, the race for control of the kingdom is on.
This was a great movie for younger kids . . . . . maybe 9 years old and under. My future stepdaughter loved the movie. Unfortunately - Wonder Woman and I were completely ready to leave about 30 minutes in to the movie because it was such a snooze fest. I'm not even really that sure what happened towards the end because I chose to get so engrossed playing Bejeweled on my cell phone. Great game by the way and you should so download it if you don't have it. Anywho, I digress. The bottom line is that this is one of those textbook movies that kids love but the adults are ready to run out of the theater asap.
I would recommend this to anyone willing to suffer for their younger daughters, but outside of that - stay clear, people!
This was a great movie for younger kids . . . . . maybe 9 years old and under. My future stepdaughter loved the movie. Unfortunately - Wonder Woman and I were completely ready to leave about 30 minutes in to the movie because it was such a snooze fest. I'm not even really that sure what happened towards the end because I chose to get so engrossed playing Bejeweled on my cell phone. Great game by the way and you should so download it if you don't have it. Anywho, I digress. The bottom line is that this is one of those textbook movies that kids love but the adults are ready to run out of the theater asap.
I would recommend this to anyone willing to suffer for their younger daughters, but outside of that - stay clear, people!
Children Of Men
Children of Men takes place in a world one generation from now that has fallen into anarchy on the heels of an infertility defect in the population. The world's youngest citizen has just died at 18, and humankind is facing the likelihood of its own extinction. Set against a backdrop of London torn apart by violence and warring nationalistic sects, the movie follows Theo (Clive Owen) as he becomes an unlikely champion of Earth's survival. When the planet's last remaining hope is threatened, he is forced to protect her from certain peril.
I thought this movie was phenomenal. The bottom line is that any time you are watching a textbook science fiction and don't even realize that it is science fiction - that's amazing. This movie takes place in a completely pretend future, but you feel as if it's all real. You watch the movie as if this world exists one town over or something. The also thing that I absolutely loved about this movie was that it was so original. Today's movies are chock full of remakes, sequels, and retreads that you can usually watch a commercial for a movie and decide ahead of time whether or not you liked the movie. This movie was so genuinely unique and kept you on the edge of your seat for the most part the entire time.
I fully recommend that everyone see this. I'm giving it must see status, people. Get out there and see it!
I thought this movie was phenomenal. The bottom line is that any time you are watching a textbook science fiction and don't even realize that it is science fiction - that's amazing. This movie takes place in a completely pretend future, but you feel as if it's all real. You watch the movie as if this world exists one town over or something. The also thing that I absolutely loved about this movie was that it was so original. Today's movies are chock full of remakes, sequels, and retreads that you can usually watch a commercial for a movie and decide ahead of time whether or not you liked the movie. This movie was so genuinely unique and kept you on the edge of your seat for the most part the entire time.
I fully recommend that everyone see this. I'm giving it must see status, people. Get out there and see it!
Notes On A Scandal
When Sheba Hart (Cate Blanchett) joins St. George's as the new art teacher, Barbara Covett (Judi Dench) senses a kindred spirit. But Barbara is not the only one drawn to her. Sheba begins an illicit affair and Barbara becomes the keeper of her secret in the most obsessive of ways.
This movie featured one hell of an amazing performance by Judi Dench. She played a lonely, obsessive, bitter old lady looking for female companionship. She befriends Cate Blanchett's character and then stumbles on to the fact that she is having an affair with one of her fifteen year old students. Judi Dench's character then masterfully manipulates the power of having that secret in to having total control over Cate Blanchett. I haven't seen Helen Mirren in The Queen but putting that aside, Judi Dench should definitely receive an Oscar for Best Actress. You find yourself totally entranced in her creepy obsessiveness and manipluation.
I wouldn't recommend anyone running out to see this one right away, but it is definitely worth the price of admission and should be checked out.
This movie featured one hell of an amazing performance by Judi Dench. She played a lonely, obsessive, bitter old lady looking for female companionship. She befriends Cate Blanchett's character and then stumbles on to the fact that she is having an affair with one of her fifteen year old students. Judi Dench's character then masterfully manipulates the power of having that secret in to having total control over Cate Blanchett. I haven't seen Helen Mirren in The Queen but putting that aside, Judi Dench should definitely receive an Oscar for Best Actress. You find yourself totally entranced in her creepy obsessiveness and manipluation.
I wouldn't recommend anyone running out to see this one right away, but it is definitely worth the price of admission and should be checked out.
Freedom Writers
Freedom Writers is inspired by a true story and the diaries of real Long Beach teenagers after the LA riots, during the worst outbreak of interracial gang warfare. Hilary Swank stars as Erin Gruwell, whose passion to become a teacher is soon challenged by a group of Black, Latino, and Asian gangbangers who hate her even more than each other. When Erin begins to listen to them in a way no adult has ever done, she begins to understand that for these kids, getting through the day alive is enough. Erin gives them something they never had from a teacher before -- respect. For the first time, these teens experience a hope that maybe, they might show the world that their lives matter and they have something to say.
This is one of those movies where if you saw the preview/commercial - you basically saw the movie. It's also a textbook teacher who reaches out to hurting kids movie. The last two times I saw this movie, it was called Lean On Me with Morgan Freeman playing the teacher and Dangerous Minds with Michelle Pheiffer playing the teacher. Although the movie was totally formula and choc full of cliches, it was still pretty enjoyable. These movies are either made or broken by the cast of kids and this one had some pretty good characters involved. I also liked that they let a bunch of the different kids narrate what was happening at different times. I'm a big fan of narration and this movie had a lot of it.
I wouldn't recommend that anyone rush out to theaters to see this. It is by no means a must see, but if you want to or have the time it is worth it.
This is one of those movies where if you saw the preview/commercial - you basically saw the movie. It's also a textbook teacher who reaches out to hurting kids movie. The last two times I saw this movie, it was called Lean On Me with Morgan Freeman playing the teacher and Dangerous Minds with Michelle Pheiffer playing the teacher. Although the movie was totally formula and choc full of cliches, it was still pretty enjoyable. These movies are either made or broken by the cast of kids and this one had some pretty good characters involved. I also liked that they let a bunch of the different kids narrate what was happening at different times. I'm a big fan of narration and this movie had a lot of it.
I wouldn't recommend that anyone rush out to theaters to see this. It is by no means a must see, but if you want to or have the time it is worth it.
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