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In the 28th century, Valerian (Dane DeHaan) and Laureline (Cara Delevingne) are a team of special operatives charged with maintaining order throughout the human territories. Under assignment from the Minister of Defense, the two embark on a mission to the astonishing city of Alpha—an ever-expanding metropolis where species from all over the universe have converged over centuries to share knowledge, intelligence and cultures with each other. There is a mystery at the center of Alpha, a dark force which threatens the peaceful existence of the City of a Thousand Planets, and Valerian and Laureline must race to identify the marauding menace and safeguard not just Alpha, but the future of the universe.
Yikes. I had given this movie the benefit of the doubt hoping that it would be somewhat like The Fifth Element - a totally off the wall movie from years ago that I will still watch all the time as one of the ultimate guilty pleasure movies. It was ridiculously bad though. I pulled the plug halfway through because of how not enjoyable this movie was in every way. Characters - poop. Story - poop. Pacing - poop. Even the visual spectacle of it which should have been enough to carry the movie by itself? Poop.
I would not recommend anyone bother wasting their time or money on this one. This will end up being one of the worst movies of the year I'm pretty sure.
