For 30 days every winter, the isolated town of Barrow, Alaska is plunged into a state of complete darkness. It's a bitter time when most of the inhabitants head south. This winter, a mysterious group of strangers appear: bloodthirsty vampires, ready to take advantage of the uninterrupted darkness to feed on the residents remaining in town. Barrow's Sheriff Eben (Josh Hartnett), his estranged wife Stella (Melissa George), and an ever-shrinking group of survivors must do anything they can to last until daylight.
Horror movies by design are usually ludicrous. Very rarely will you ever catch one with a legit story and what not so you kind of expect any sort of reality to be thrown out the window. However, you can't throw it so far out the window that it is millions of miles away. That was all I kept thinking with this movie. They are in Alaska . . . . . . for 30 days of night . . . . . with no electricity . . . . . . which would mean no heat . . . . . . for 30 days of night . . . . . in Alaska . . . . . and they need to worry about attacking vampires? I'm pretty sure that the mind numbing cold would have them done in about half way through night one, people! These people were running around outside for supplies and what not with nothing on their faces, no gloves, just all out hustle. Last time I checked, if I was to run down the block here in New York during the coldest day in winter, I would come close to passing out because of the weather making it impossible to breath. There was one point where one of the characters hid underneath a car . . . . . FOR FOUR DAYS! Again . . . . 30 days of night . . . . . in Alaska . . . . outdoors . . . . . with no food. The vampires are not the problem! You would be a human popsicle. To make things even sillier, these were some sort of ancient Roman vampires that spoke in all sorts of overdramatic, gladiator like terminology, did the most annoying screams when they weren't communicating all goth like, and looked like they were trying to constantly squeeze out a deuce. As if all of this wasn't silly enough - the movie completely spiraled out of control at the end with Josh Hartnett injecting himself with vampire tainted blood so that he could turn in to one of them and have this retardly delusional cage fight with the leader of the vampires. Spoiler Alert! . . . . he wins . . . but then he loses because he's now one of them and the 30 days of night is over. He flakes away to cigarette ashes in the arms of his estranged wife . . . . . . The end. No, I'm not kidding.
Stay away from this movie forever. It is truly horrendous and should never be viewed. It has to be one of the worst movies of this year.
