Sparkle

 

Sparkle tells the story of the title character; Sparkle, (Jordin Sparks) the youngest of three sisters and a music prodigy who struggles to becomes a star while overcoming issues that are tearing her family apart. Sparkle is from an affluent Detroit area, naive to the unexpected experiences her new life will bring as she and her two sisters blossom into a dynamic singing group during the Motown-era. Whitney Houston will play the trio's mother (Emma). Mike Epps plays a wealthy comedian named Satin, who woos Sparkle's sister into a drug-filled abusive relationship on their way to the top. During her journey, Sparkle endures the trials and tribulations of fame but fights to rise through the ranks of the music business.

I made it 25 minutes into this movie before not being able to take it anymore.  It's like a homemade rehashing of Dreamgirls.  It's pretty much crap. 

I wouldn't recommend anyone ever bothering with this.  It wasn't even worth a 26th minute of watching for me.

The Expendables 2

Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone), Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Yin Yang (Jet Li), Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), Toll Road (Randy Couture) and Hale Caesar (Terry Crews) -- with newest members Billy the Kid (Liam Hemsworth) and Maggie (Yu Nan) aboard -- are reunited when Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) enlists the Expendables to take on a seemingly simple job. The task looks like an easy paycheck for Barney and his band of old-school mercenaries. But when things go wrong and one of their own is viciously killed, the Expendables are compelled to seek revenge in hostile territory where the odds are stacked against them. Hell-bent on payback, the crew cuts a swath of destruction through opposing forces, wreaking havoc and shutting down an unexpected threat in the nick of time - six pounds of weapons-grade plutonium; enough to change the balance of power in the world. But that's nothing compared to the justice they serve against the villainous adversary who savagely murdered their brother.

This movie is great, just like the first one,  for being exactly what it's supposed to be - a throwback to over the top 80s action movies.  There is crazy shootouts and fighting.  There are cliche one liners all over the place and they have even brought in more throwback actors that pretty much made entire careers out of these types of movies.

If you liked the first one (or 80s action movies) - you will like this movie just as much.  If you didn't - don't touch it with a ten foot pole.  It's pretty much one of the easiest movies to review.

ParaNorman

In ParaNorman, a small town comes under siege by zombies. Who can it call? Only misunderstood local boy Norman (voiced by Kodi Smit-McPhee), who is able to speak with the dead. In addition to the zombies, he'll have to take on ghosts, witches and, worst, of all, grown-ups, to save his town from a centuries-old curse. But this young ghoul whisperer may find his paranormal activities pushed to their otherworldly limits.

This movie had moments where there were good laughs.  However, the animation was kind of creepy like Coraline.  Worse than that the story was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out there and much too dark for any kids to be seeing this - much less understanding it. 

I wouldn't really recommend people checking this out.  It's not horrible.  Its just an animated movie that isn't remotely for kids and kind of dark but not committed to be "dark enough" for adults to really like.

The Odd Life Of Timothy Green

The Odd Life Of Timothy Green is a story about a happily married couple, Cindy and Jim Green (Jennifer Garner and Joel Edgerton), who can't wait to start a family but can only dream about what their child would be like. When young Timothy (CJ Adams) shows up on their doorstep one stormy night, Cindy and Jim, and their small town of Stanleyvill, learn that sometimes the unexpected can bring some of life's greatest gifts.

This was one of those blatant heartstring movies.  They take some characters and give them a horrible situation - in this case being unable to have children - and milk the sadness out of it as much as they can.  At the risk of losing my man card - I usually love movies like this, but wasn't really hooked by any of the characters.  No hook = no sympathy connection = movie is just kind of there.

I wouldn't really recommend people checking this out.  Well, maybe it was just me and you'll connect with the characters and enjoy a sapfest.  It just didn't work for me at all.

The Campaign

When long-term congressman Cam Brady (Will Ferrell) commits a major public gaffe before an upcoming election, a pair of ultra-wealthy CEOs plot to put up a rival candidate and gain influence over their North Carolina district. Their man: naive Marty Huggins (Zach Galifianakis), director of the local Tourism Center. At first, Marty appears to be the unlikeliest possible choice but, with the help of his new benefactors' support, a cutthroat campaign manager and his family's political connections, he soon becomes a contender who gives the charismatic Cam plenty to worry about. As Election Day closes in, the two are locked in a dead heat, with insults quickly escalating to injury until all they care about is burying each other.

This movie definitely had moments of hilarity from both Ferrell and Galifinakas.  But the laughs were spaced out too far and there was too much down time for an already extremely short movie.  Ferrell was back in an Anchorman type role where he was so self-obsessed and oblivious.  Galifinakas's quirkiness was awesome at first but kind of grew old.  The funniest part of the movie was actually his two kids.  The few lines that they let them have had me dying.

I would somewhat recommend people checking out this one.  The laughs that were there were huge, but I just wish that there would have been much more of them.

The Bourne Legacy

The architect behind the "Bourne" film series, Tony Gilroy, takes the helm in the next chapter of the hugely popular espionage franchise - The Bourne Legacy. The writer/director expands the "Bourne" universe created by Robert Ludlum with an original story that introduces us to a new hero (Jeremy Renner) whose life-or-death stakes have been triggered by the events of the first three films.

This was an awesome twist to the franchise.  It took place alongside the Jason Bourne stuff and that back and forth was great.  This movie was a little more talky talky than the other three and went much more in depth about how these men became super agents and the methods used to do so.  The action scenes were still great and I think Jeremy Renner was an excellent choice to be cast in this.  Ideally, the best part of this movie is that it was done in a way that the franchise can ultimately go to a whole other level like what they did with the Fast & Furious franchise by continuing it without the main star but leaving it open that Vin Diesel could come back.  The thought of the next movie or another one down the road in this franchise having both Renner and Damon is awesome.  Very good overall storytelling.

I would definitely recommend people checking this movie out.  Again - the action wasn't as high as in past Bourne movies, but the writing/story is very smart and involves the overall franchise instead of just keeping this one seperate. 

Hope Springs

Kay (Meryl Streep) and Arnold (Tommy Lee Jones) are a devoted couple, but decades of marriage have left Kay wanting to spice things up and reconnect with her husband. When she hears of a renowned couple's specialist (Steve Carell) in the small town of Great Hope Springs, she attempts to persuade her skeptical husband, a steadfast man of routine, to get on a plane for a week of marriage therapy. Just convincing the stubborn Arnold to go on the retreat is hard enough � the real challenge for both of them comes as they shed their bedroom hang-ups and try to re-ignite the spark that caused them to fall for each other in the first place.

This was a cute relationship movie.  You care about the characters and the situation that they are in/going through.  And both of them did a great job.  The movie was definitely watchable, but outside of seeing where these two characters end up - there really is no major point to the movie.

I would recommend this to anyone who is a Meryl Streep fan or can identify with the level of their relationship I guess.  Again - the characters are well portrayed but there is no overall point to the movie.

Total Recall

Total Recall is an action thriller about reality and memory, inspired anew by the famous short story "We Can Remember It For You Wholesale" by Philip K. Dick. Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), even though he's got a beautiful wife (Kate Beckinsale) who he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life - real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police (controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston), the leader of the free world) Quaid teams up with a rebel fighter (Jessica Biel) to find the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy) and stop Cohaagen. The line between fantasy and reality gets blurred and the fate of his world hangs in the balance as Quaid discovers his true identity, his true love, and his true fate.

Ok.  There are two ways to look at this movie.  The first is to pretend that the original Total Recall with Arnold Schwartzenegger never happened.  If you do that, this is a barely watchable sci-fi movie.  They basically had the robots from I, Robot and the stormtroopers from Star Wars make a baby and those were the soldiers chasing them.  Then they basically stole the exact look and transportation from Minority Report.  Then they told Beckinsale to pretend that she was in Underworld 17.  Unfortunately, stealing all these things from other good sci fi movies (I'm referring loosely to Underworld 1 included in that), doesn't make a good sci fi movie.  This movie had some of the dryest acting ever and was barely watchable due to the visual effects of it.  If you are watching this in the second way to see it . . . . factoring in the original Total Recall . . . . . . this movie is absolutely horrible.  The first Total Recall was one of the iconic movies of my teenage years.  I can pretty much quote it word for word and at the time, the makeup and effects were top notch.  This movie was pretty much a giant insult to that movie across the board. 

I wouldn't really recommend anyone bothering with this movie.  It's pretty much garbage either way you look at it and a total waste of time.

Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: Dog Days

Based on author and cartoonist Jeff Kinney's fourth Wimpy Kid book - this one covers Greg's worst summer ever.

There really isn't much of a synopsis necessary for this one because it's pretty much just more of the same story and characters.  If you liked the others and the characters - like I do.  Then you will like this one as well.  It's pretty much the same laughs and the same morals for a third go round.

I would definitely recommend this to anyone who like the previous Wimpy Kid movies.  I have read all the books and seen the movies and enjoy them for being simple, family movies that are not in 3D and don't go over the top.  These are the kinds of movies that you can take your kids to and not worry if it's okay for them to see it.

The Watch

The Watch is a sci-fi comedy about a suburban "neighborhood watch" group that serves as a front for dads to get some male-bonding time away from their families. The group finds itself in over its head when it uncovers a plot to destroy the world.

This movie was pretty much garbage.  It's a damn shame to say that considering the collective comedic talent in there and the ads did look kind of good.  Unfortunately, most of the laughs were in the commercial and Ben Stiller's characters was so annoyingly straight laced that it didn't mesh well at all with Vince Vaughn (who was overly hyper than normal) and Jonah Hill (who was the only one that actually made me laugh) and most of the humor was lamely sophomoric. 

I wouldn't recommend anyone bothering to check this out.  This was a very disappointing summer comedy that wrapped up what has not been a good year for them at all.

Step Up: Revolution

Step Up Revolution is the next installment in the Step Up franchise, which sets the dancing against the vibrant backdrop of Miami. Emily, the daughter of a wealthy businessman, arrives in Miami with aspirations of becoming a professional dancer, but soon falls in love with Sean, a young man who leads a dance crew in elaborate, cutting-edge flash mobs. The crew, called the MOB, strives to win a contest for a major sponsorship opportunity, but soon Emily's father threatens to develop the MOB's historic neighborhood and displace thousands of people. Emily must band together with Sean and the MOB to turn their performance mobs into protest mobs, and risk losing their dreams to fight for a greater cause.

Let's face it.  Who gives a rat's ass about the stories in these movies?  You go to see the dance sequences.  Even Stinka said after the movie that "the dancing was cool but the rest was crap".  I was literally busy playing games on my phone any time it wasn't one of the choreographed scenes.  I will say that some of the scenes were actually pretty cool.  This Step Up franchise has literally morphed into a Mr. Cinco/Stinka tradition and this wasn't nearly as painful as the last one because I found the dances much more entertaining than the last one.

Would I recommend anyone checking this out?  Absolutely not if you haven't seen any of the others or if you didn't like the others.  If you did/do - then you will enjoy this one.  I thought it was better than entry three.

The Dark Knight Rises

It has been eight years since Batman vanished into the night, turning, in that instant, from hero to fugitive. Assuming the blame for the death of D.A. Harvey Dent, the Dark Knight sacrificed everything for what he and Commissioner Gordon both hoped was the greater good. For a time the lie worked, as criminal activity in Gotham City was crushed under the weight of the anti-crime Dent Act.  But everything will change with the arrival of a cunning cat burglar with a mysterious agenda. Far more dangerous, however, is the emergence of Bane, a masked terrorist whose ruthless plans for Gotham drive Bruce out of his self-imposed exile. But even if he dons the cape and cowl again, Batman may be no match for Bane.

Brace yourselves because this is going to be a long one.  Let me start by saying this is an amazing movie.  It fell in line exactly with where my expectations for it were.  I kept saying that this would be more of a sequel to Batman Begins than to The Dark Knight.  Heath Ledger's performace was a once in a lifetime type of thing and to think that they would be able to top that would be ridiculous.  That being said - Christopher Nolan (best director out there - sorry, Fincher) was so fair to everyone in this movie.  He was fair each actor that has been throughout all the trilogy.  Gary Oldman got his due.  Morgan Freeman got his due.  Michael Caine got his due.  And most importanly - Christian Bale got his due after pretty much just being a distant third fiddle to Ledger and Eckhardt in the last one.  Besides them, he worked in Catwoman very well and Anne Hathaway was great with the sleekness needed delivering her lines.  Tom Hardy is the man.  Love this guy and he was awesome as Bane.  And Joseph Gordon-Levitt was great as the new cop getting introduced.  Much more on him later.  As for the fans - he could not have done us more justice.  This movie trilogy wrapped up in the most phenomenal of ways.  I can't really go into it without giving too much away.  I will go over some stuff later but with spoiler warnings.  I am just so happy with how I felt walking out of the theater and didn't realize how much this telling of Batman really meant to me as a movie fan until that point. 

All of the awesomeness being addressed, there were some things that left a bit of a blah taste in my mouth.  The first 30-45 minutes of the movie seemed a little choppy and forced having to introduce Bane, Catwoman and the new cop guy.  Luckily, just when it was getting to the point where it could really take away from the movie - it smoothed out and because awesome from then on.

SPOILERS AHEAD!   SPOILERS AHEAD!  SPOILERS AHEAD!  Only read if you don't care with things being mentioned. 

Bane was so badass and was such an awesomely developed villain, yet he became completely inconsequential after the swerve of Thalia A'Gul being revealed and his demise was almost done in passing and for comic relief.  That bothered me alot.  I felt like the character deserved better than that.  As for the aforementioned swerve - I'm being generous when saying swerve because I saw that coming months ago when they announced the casting and saw it coming the whole movie.  That was very un-Nolanesque.  The only two other things that didn't sit well with me was A - the flying away with the neutron bomb (Did they have to drag it on the ground and bang it all over the place?  It's a bomb.  I feel as if something would have happened in the realm of blowing up prematurely by doing that?  It just looked kind of silly.) and B - a major editing snafu with the getaway from the Wall Street attack.  The chase started in total daylight and they went under some tunnel and it was total nightime when they came out?   Again - just kind of hit me as un-Nolanesque. 

Now on to my praise of the ending - STILL SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Wow!  Christopher Nolan not only gave every character what they wanted to have a happy ending, but he gave Warner Brothers the biggest gift ever if they really want to try and do the Justice League thing.  I've been ranting with my friend about how they would never be able to pull it off because The Avengers was a work of advanced mastery in marketing and WB would basically just be throwing Justice League on the screen having to have a new Batman too soon and no advance hype whatsoever.  Then Nolan goes and has Joseph Gordon Levitt acknowledged as "Robin" and has the movie end with him going in to the batcave.  HOLY $HIT!!!   I felt the same way after seeing Sam Jackson at the end of Iron Man.  Now all they have to do is have JGL show up in the relaunched Superman next year and they already have the legwork for Justice League.  Please let the powers that be at WB not screw this up and run with the absolute gift that Nolan has given them. 

I feel as if I have written enough here.  You have probably guessed that I would recommend this movie by now.  It's easily one of the best trilogies of all time - probably behind only the original Star Wars and Lord Of The Rings for me.  I would say it's by second favorite of the trilogy behind The Dark Knight and I would say it is my second favorite movie of the year only to The Avengers for pulling all of that together. 

Magic Mike

Set in the world of male strippers, Magic Mike is directed by Steven Soderbergh and stars Channing Tatum (Dear John) in a story inspired by his real life. The film follows Mike (Tatum) as he takes a young dancer called The Kid (Pettyfer) under his wing and schools him in the fine arts of partying, picking up women, and making easy money.

I have to admit that this movie was pretty enjoyable for the first hour.  They were pretty much mocking the fact that they were strippers and they weren't taking it seriously and what not.  The stage antics were pretty funny and so were the backstage stuff.  McConaughey was absolutely hysterical.  I thought I was going to have to write a gushing review of a movie about male strippers.  And then about halfway through they decided to force a lame ass story turning McConaughey into the bad guy owner and have Tatum be all about chasing some girl while "The Kid" developed a drug problem.  Very disappointing because this had surprise enjoyment all over it.

I would only recommend people watching the first half of the movie when it is light and funny.  The second half of the movie was pretty much garbage.  Too bad.

Savages

Laguna Beach entrepreneurs Ben (Johnson), a peaceful and charitable Buddhist, and his closest friend Chon (Kitsch), a former Navy SEAL and ex-mercenary, run a lucrative, homegrown industry - raising some of the best marijuana ever developed. They also share a one-of-a-kind love with the extraordinary beauty Ophelia (Lively). Life is idyllic in their Southern California town...until the Mexican Baja Cartel decides to move in and demands that the trio partners with them.  When the merciless head of the BC, Elena (Hayek), and her brutal enforcer, Lado (Del Toro), underestimate the unbreakable bond among these three friends.  Ben and Chon - with the reluctant, slippery assistance of a dirty DEA agent (Travolta) - wage a seemingly unwinnable war against the cartel. And so begins a series of increasingly vicious ploys and maneuvers in a high stakes, savage battle of wills.

This was a pretty good story.  I liked the performances - especially Del Toro, Hayek and Kitsch.  I know that Kitsch was in John Carter and Battleship this year which both tanked, but I love the potential of this kid.  His badassness pretty much carried the movie anytime that it got a little blah.  That is actually the only knock I would make against it.  It could have been a little tighter.  If the 2 hours were maybe 1 hour 45 minutes, this movie would have been great.  Instead, it ended up being a good enough movie to watch but not something that I could really recommend.

Like I said - I would somewhat recommend people checking this out.  It's not a must see by any means or even a "great" movie.  It is a pretty good watch though and there is definitely worse stuff out there.

Madea's Witness Protection

For years, George Needleman (Levy), the gentle CFO of a Wall Street investment bank, has been living with his head in the clouds. His frustrated second wife, Kate (Richards), has reached her limit taking care of his senile mother, Barbara (Roberts). His teenage daughter, Cindy (Danielle Campbell), is spoiled beyond hope and his seven-year-old son, Howie (Devan Leos), wishes his father were around more. But George is finally forced to wake up when he learns that his firm, Lockwise Industries, has been operating a mob-backed Ponzi scheme and that he's been set up as the fall guy.  Facing criminal charges and death threats from the mob, George and his entire family are put under witness protection in the safest place that Brian (Perry), a federal prosecutor from Atlanta, can think of - his Aunt Madea's house down South.  As a result, Madea and her live-in brother, Uncle Joe (Perry), find themselves managing a completely dysfunctional family from Connecticut. But as George tries to solve the mystery behind Lockwise's finances, Madea whips the Needlemans into shape using her hilarious brand of tough love. And together, they realize they just might have what it takes to unite George's family, outsmart the mob and change everyone's lives for the better.

This was again just like every other Madea movie.  Actually - that's not fair to the other Madea movies.  This one was worse.  It was the same in that the only entertaining stuff was when Madea was actually on the screen.  It was worse in that the usually overly melodramatic main story tried to be funny with Eugene Levy being the patriarch of a family needing witness protection with the no talent whatsoever Denise Richards as his wife.  I can't believe that this crap actually made me miss the girl getting beaten and trying to beat her drug problem while losing her job waa waa that is usually carried by Madea popping in every once and a while.  Sadly - those appearances couldn't even make this one tolerable. 

I wouldn't recommend anyone bothering with this one.  It is sad to admit but I'm thinking that the Madea movies have pretty much run their course and they should probably just stop.

People Like Us

People Like Us is a drama/comedy about family, inspired by true events, starring Chris Pine (Star Trek) as Sam, a twenty-something, fast-talking salesman, whose latest deal collapses on the day he learns that his father has suddenly died. Against his wishes, Sam is called home, where he must put his father's estate in order and reconnect with his estranged family. In the course of fulfilling his father's last wishes, Sam uncovers a startling secret that turns his entire world upside down: He has a 30-year-old sister Frankie whom he never knew about (Elizabeth Banks). As their relationship develops, Sam is forced to rethink everything he thought he knew about this family--and re-examine his own life choices in the process.

This movie is the definition of just being there.  I didn't care one iota what was going on.  There was no hook to any of the characters.  The trailer pretty much summed up the movie from beginning to end.  So much so that I didn't even bother watching the last 15-20 minutes because I would rather get some errands done on my way to work. 

I wouldn't recommend anyone wasting their time with this.  Watch the commercial and base how you thought the movie was on that. 

Ted

Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane brings his boundary-pushing brand of humor to the big screen for the first time as writer, director and voice star of Ted. In the live action/CG-animated comedy, he tells the story of John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), a grown man who must deal with the cherished teddy bear who came to life as the result of a childhood wish... and has refused to leave his side ever since.

This is one of those movies that I wish I would have seen right out of the gate and not a week later.  I probably would have enjoyed it a lot more without all the hype and commentary about how funny it was and what not.  There were some laughs, but most of it was fifteen year old humor.  I did find myself laughing about the talking teddy bear throughout the movie but it was definitely like 30 minutes too long. 

I would somewhat recommend people checking this out.  There are good laughs but not nearly as much as all the hype suggests there are. 

Ice Age: Continental Drift

In Ice Age: Continental Drift, Scrat's nutty pursuit of the cursed acorn, which he's been after since the dawn of time, has world-changing consequences -- a continental cataclysm that triggers the greatest adventure of all for Manny, Diego and Sid. In the wake of these earth-shattering upheavals, Sid reunites with his long lost family, and the gang encounters a ragtag menagerie of colorful new characters determined to stop them from returning home.

I have to be honest and say that I have at no point really been a big fan of this franchise.  I usually love animated films, but I just never got in to these.  The first one was a decent watch.  The second one was a straight to video movie that was thrown on screens at a point when no other movies, especially family films were out there and it made a boatload of money.  The third one was okay.  And as for this one - it's more of the same.  There are some good laughs, but I never felt like they've hooked me with the characters enough to care.  I pretty much just watch it for the sake of saying that I did.

I would recommend that anyone who saw the others and liked them check this out.  You will definitely still like this one because it really is just more of the same stuff with some new characters thrown in. 

The Amazing Spider-Man

The Amazing Spider-Man is the story of Peter Parker (Garfield), an outcast high schooler who was abandoned by his parents as a boy, leaving him to be raised by his Uncle Ben (Sheen) and Aunt May (Field). Like most teenagers, Peter is trying to figure out who he is and how he got to be the person he is today. Peter is also finding his way with his first high school crush, Gwen Stacy (Stone), and together, they struggle with love, commitment, and secrets. As Peter discovers a mysterious briefcase that belonged to his father, he begins a quest to understand his parents' disappearance, leading him directly to Oscorp and the lab of Dr. Curt Connors (Ifans), his father's former partner. As Spider-Man is set on a collision course with Connors' alter-ego, The Lizard, Peter will make life-altering choices to use his powers and shape his destiny to become a hero.

I have to put it out there that the reboot of this franchise is way too soon.  When they rebooted Batman - more than enough time had gone by and they were doing it in a VERY different and darker way.  This reboot is coming out ten years after the original one with two sequels to the original one having been made in the last decade.  Granted, I thought Spider-Man 3 was very disappointing and would ultimately lead to them rebooting as opposed to just throwing Spider-Man 4 out there but not this soon.  And they only made minor tweaks to the story.   Just needed to state that for the record before going on about the movie.

The movie was awesome.  The cast was great.  Andrew Garfield was great for Spidey.  I liked him a million times more than Tobey Maguire.  And Emma Stone is just awesome.  She might be my favorite actress at this point.  She's just entertaining no matter what she does.  The effects were pretty cool and the story developed well.  Unfortunately, due to the closeness to the original Spider-Man I can't help but compare the two.  I feel that the development story and tightness of it was better with the original but the cast of this one was a thousand times better.  It's not that the story wasn't good in this one.  It just wasn't as good as the original. 

All of this ranting aside - I still absolutely loved this movie.  It's a great "alternate" telling/reboot even if it was too soon.  And in a year overly crowded by subpar movies or ones that are just there, this movie is easily second only to The Avengers in 2012 so far.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

President Lincoln's mother is killed by a supernatural creature, which fuels his passion to crush vampires and their slave-owning helpers.

Poop.  Total poop.  Not even going to bother writing any more about this. 

Did you not read the last paragraph that was as lame as the movie synopsis one?  No - you shouldn't see it.  Why would you want to see poop?

Brave

Merida is a skilled archer and impetuous daughter of King Fergus (voice of Billy Connolly) and Queen Elinor (voice of Emma Thompson). Determined to carve her own path in life, Merida defies an age-old custom sacred to the uproarious lords of the land: massive Lord MacGuffin (voice of Kevin McKidd), surly Lord Macintosh (voice of Craig Ferguson) and cantankerous Lord Dingwall (voice of Robbie Coltrane). Merida's actions inadvertently unleash chaos and fury in the kingdom, and when she turns to an eccentric old Wise Woman (voice of Julie Walters) for help, she is granted an ill-fated wish. The ensuing peril forces Merida to discover the meaning of true bravery in order to undo a beastly curse before it's too late.

I'm conflicted about this movie.  Mostly because it's from Pixar.  Is the movie good?  Yeah.  I enjoyed it.  It was like a Disney princess movie with red hair and a Scottish accent.  The originality was hurt a little bit by how similar it was to Brother Bear from a couple of years ago.  But it was still enjoyable and the animation was fantastic.  However, this is Pixar.  They are the top rung on the ladder of animation.  Their movies are usually Best Picture worthy.  But this coming on the heels of last year's mailed in Cars 2, reeks of them selling out their originality for marketing/money making.  Sad. 

Again, I did enjoy the movie and I would recommend people checking it out, but it was below the expectations that I have grown to have for Pixar movies. 

That's My Boy

While still in his teens, Donny (Adam Sandler) fathered a son, Todd (Andy Samberg), and raised him as a single parent up until Todd's 18th birthday. Now, after not seeing each other for years, Todd's world comes crashing down on the eve of his wedding when an uninvited Donny suddenly shows up. Trying desperately to reconnect with his son, Donny is now forced to deal with the repercussions of his bad parenting skills.

This was pretty much another one of Adam Sandler's clunkers.  There were some laughs sprinkled throughout but it was mostly garbage.  The worrisome thing is that he's falling away from the every other movie thing he had going.  He did Grown-Ups and Just Go With It which were two of my more favorite movies of his.  But this is and Jack & Jill is a horrible twosome to follow that up.  This is also a horrible start to Adam Sandberg's post SNL career.  I pray he goes on to better than this.

I wouldn't really recommend anyone bothering with this.  Even though there were some laughs, there were definitely nowhere near enough to carry the movie.

Rock Of Ages

Rock of Ages tells the story of small town girl Sherrie and city boy Drew, who meet on the Sunset Strip while pursuing their Hollywood dreams. Their rock 'n' roll romance is told through the hits of Def Leppard, Joan Jett, Journey, Foreigner, Bon Jovi, Night Ranger, REO Speedwagon, Pat Benatar, Twisted Sister, Poison, Whitesnake, and more.

So the story was pretty much fluff.  I kind of knew that going in.  Regardless, I loved the music because this was the music I grew up to.  I loved the random hilarious laughs sprinkled throughout and Tom Cruise was again awesome in a supporting off the wall role.  I wish he would just stick to stuff like this.

I would absolutely recommend anyone who grew up with this music see this movie.  Its basically like watching people on screen do karaoke for two hours and to be honest - I was singing along with them the whole time.

Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted

Alex the Lion, Marty the Zebra, Gloria the Hippo, and Melman the Giraffe are still fighting to get home to their beloved Big Apple and of course, King Julien, Maurice and the Penguins are all along for the comedic adventure. Their journey takes them through Europe where they find the perfect cover: a traveling circus, which they reinvent Madagascar style.

I liked this movie much more than the second one.  The writers realized that this movie's laughs come much more from the cast of characters on The Penguins Of Madagascar cartoon than the four main characters on the poster above.  Sure, Marty and Alex have moments - but honestly does anyone care about the hippo or the giraffe?   It's about Skipper and the penguins and King Julien and his posse.  There is more than enough of them and King Julien's singing completely steals the show.  There are tons of laughs and the movie is short and paced well that you avoid the okay let's wrap this up feeling. 

I would definitely recommend people checking this out.  It's just as enjoyable for the adults as it is for the kids. 

Prometheus

Ridley Scott returns to the genre he helped define, creating an original science fiction epic set in the most dangerous corners of the universe. The film takes a team of scientists and explorers on a thrilling journey that will test their physical and mental limits and strand them on a distant world, where they will discover the answers to our most profound questions and to life's ultimate mystery.

This movie started off incredibly sci-fi.  I was doing nothing but thinking how wrongly advertised it was because they made it out to be like Aliens when it was a lot more like Alien.  It took a good hour (the first half of the movie) to get to the alien interaction stuff.  I wasn't bored because I like sci-fi stuff like this but the mainstream movie goer absolutely would be.  Once the alien stuff started - the movie picked up in pace tremendously.  It was creepy as hell and made you jump numerous times.  They had took enough time building up the characters so that you care what is happening to them.  It still got a little bit too sci fi for the average movie goer towards the end but it was a huge turn around from the beginning. 

I would definitely recommend this movie simply because the visuals throughout the movie are amazing.  Just be warned that it is not as actiony as advertised and it's much more of thinking man's movie.  I enjoyed it very much but was a little confused towards the end.  If not for that - I would probably be raving about this movie.

Snow White and the Huntsman

In the action-adventure Snow White and the Huntsman, Kristen Stewart (Twilight) plays the only person in the land fairer than the evil queen (Charlize Theron) who is out to destroy her. But what the wicked ruler never imagined is that the young woman threatening her reign has been training in the art of war with a huntsman (Chris Hemsworth) who was dispatched to kill her.

This was a pretty bad ass version of Snow White.  Not cute and fluffy at all.  Honestly, it reminded me alot of the Robin Hood remake with Russel Crowe from a couple of years ago.  It was an entertaining movie with lots of battle type action but they kept the gore out of it to get their PG-13 rating.  Charlize Theron was very creepy as the Evil Queen.  The dwarves were cool once they got worked in.  Chris Hemsworth was basically Thor without the hammer.  And all of them combined together to make the movie watchable even though no acting ability whatsoever Bella . . . . um, I mean Kristen Stewart was playing the lead. 

I would somewhat recommend people checking this out.  It's not a must see, but it is an enjoyable and more adult version of the classic story for action fans.  This is NOT a kids Snow White.

Piranha 3DD

After the terror unleashed on Lake Victoria in Piranha 3D, the pre-historic school of blood thirsty piranhas are back. This time, no one is safe from the flesh eating fish as they sink their razor sharp teeth into the visitors of summer's best attraction, The Big Wet Water Park.

Do I even have to bother reviewing this?  It's crap.  Crap was expected.  Crap is what was given.  Correction, steaming crap is what was given because they even brought the chaos out of the water and gave me one of the most disgusting images that I will never be able to erase from my memory.

No - I would not recommend this to anyone.  Ever.  Save yourselves.  Plus - hopefully there will not be  Piranha 3DDD if nobody watches this one.

Men In Black 3

In Men in Black 3, Agents J (Will Smith) and K (Tommy Lee Jones) are back... in time. J has seen some inexplicable things in his 15 years with the Men in Black, but nothing, not even aliens, perplexes him as much as his wry, reticent partner. But when K's life and the fate of the planet are put at stake, Agent J will have to travel back in time to put things right. J discovers that there are secrets to the universe that K never told him -- secrets that will reveal themselves as he teams up with the young Agent K (Josh Brolin) to save his partner, the agency, and the future of humankind.

Sadly, this movie was just kind of there.  Sure, it was entertaining.   Will Smith is Will Smith and I will always be down with watching him.  Josh Brolin was great being a young Tommy Lee Jones.  Some of the effects were good and the alien effects were as well.  There were definitely laughs too.  The problem is that the second the credits hit - I really didn't care about this movie anymore.  Is it better than the first sequel?  Absolutely!!!  That one was one of the biggest moviegoer insults I ever watched.  Having said that, saying that this one was better than that ends up not really meaning much.  This is basically a summer popcorn movie where you can be entertained for a little less than two hours and that's it. 

I would lukewarmly recommend people checking this out.  I'm not sure if I let my expectations/excitement to see it get the best of me, but I was definitely disappointed that there wasn't more of a hook to the movie or substance that might give me something more to say than "Eh . . .  it was ok."

Chernobyl Diaries

Chernobyl Diaries is an original story from Oren Peli, who first terrified audiences with his thriller, Paranormal Activity. The film follows a group of six young tourists who, looking to go off the beaten path, hire an "extreme tour" guide. Ignoring warnings, he takes them into the city of Pripyat, the former home to the workers of the Chernobyl nuclear reactor, but a deserted town since the disaster more than 25 years ago. After a brief exploration of the abandoned city, however, the group soon finds themselves stranded, only to discover that they are not alone...

This movie definitely had moments of optimal creepiness.   Enough to keep me watching the whole way through.  Unfortunately, the whole story felt sooooooooo forced right from the beginning and as opposed to Paranormal Activity where you get scared that could be happening anywhere, I wasn't as hooked in to this because my brain kept asking why the hell would these people be there in the first place.  The other thing was that a lot of the attack scenes were too fast paced and blurry so you would jump at first and then just kind of wait for the attack part to be over. 

I wouldn't really recommend that people check this out.  There are definitely better options out there.  Again - there were good scary moments but the forced story made the whole thing pretty cheesy.

What To Expect When You're Expecting

Over the moon about starting a family, TV fitness guru Jules and dance show star Evan find that their high-octane celebrity lives don't stand a chance against the surprise demands of pregnancy. Baby-crazy author and advocate Wendy gets a taste of her own militant mommy advice when pregnancy hormones ravage her body; while Wendy's husband, Gary, struggles not to be outdone by his competitive alpha-Dad, who's expecting twins with his much younger trophy wife, Skyler. Photographer Holly is prepared to travel the globe to adopt a child, but her husband Alex isn't so sure, and tries to quiet his panic by attending a "dudes" support group, where new fathers get to tell it like it really is. And rival food truck chefs Rosie and Marco's surprise hook-up results in an unexpected quandary: what to do when your first child comes before your first date?

This movie is essentially a pregnancy version of Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve.  It's got a ton of actors all coupled off and dealing with their pregnancies and oncoming children.  They are all somewhat connected and take us through the many different emotions that come along with this life changing event.  There were plenty of laughs (mostly from the guys walking in the park with the kids) and the overall movie was cute/watchable.

I would somewhat recommend this movie to the general movie goer.  Anyone who liked movies like Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve will like this one and pretty much any female will like this  movie as well.

The Dictator

The film tells the heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.

This was a slightly different Sacha Baron Cohen movie.  I was expecting another of his mockumentary type movies.  This was actually a movie with a "story" and other "actors."  It kind of took away a little bit from the laughs when it was part of a script as opposed to the usual freelance rantings.  There still were plenty of laughs and the usual sight gags and when it was funny - I was bellylaughing.  Unfortuantely, it seemed held back by the actor interacting and the parts that weren't as funny, I found myself bored. 

I would somewhat recommend people checking this movie out.  It's nowhere near as funny as Borat was, but I definitely liked it more than Bruno.  It's a shame that they decided to try and have a story.  I feel like this could have been hilarious if they didn't.

Dark Shadows

In the year 1752, Joshua and Naomi Collins, with young son Barnabas, set sail from Liverpool, England to start a new life in America. But even an ocean was not enough to escape the mysterious curse that has plagued their family. Two decades pass and Barnabas (Johnny Depp) has the world at his feet�or at least the town of Collinsport, Maine. The master of Collinwood Manor, Barnabas is rich, powerful and an inveterate playboy...until he makes the grave mistake of breaking the heart of Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green). A witch, in every sense of the word, Angelique dooms him to a fate worse than death: turning him into a vampire, and then burying him alive. Two centuries later, Barnabas is inadvertently freed from his tomb and emerges into the very changed world of 1972. He returns to Collinwood Manor to find that his once-grand estate has fallen into ruin. The dysfunctional remnants of the Collins family have fared little better, each harboring their own dark secrets.

I'm kind of torn on this movie.  I enjoyed watching it but I'm pretty sure that it was solely based on Johnny Depp's charisma.  He's part of an elite group of actors that I find it almost impossible to not enjoy his work.  If it were anyone else in this movie, I probably would have pulled the plug on it for pretty much not caring about the story because there really isn't a hook that keeps you attached.  It's just that it's Johnny Depp.  There are laughs and it's pretty well paced, but honestly - it's just kind of there.  And there was no reason for this to be a summer release.  None at all.

Again - I enjoyed it because I like Johnny Depp . . . . . . especially when he is working with Tim Burton.  But take him out of this movie and it's really not too good of a movie.  Sorry, I can't really do much better than that.

The Avengers

Continuing the epic big-screen adventures started in Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor and Captain America: The First Avenger, The Avengers is the superhero team up of a lifetime. When an unexpected enemy emerges that threatens global safety and security, Nick Fury, Director of the international peacekeeping agency known as SHIELD, finds himself in need of a team to pull the world back from the brink of disaster. Spanning the globe, a daring recruitment effort begins.

Never have I seen a movie with expectations like this.  I mean you are talking about four different mega-high profile movies with four different known comic book characters.  And there was a sequel to one of them in there too.  This movie has legitamitely been hyped for four years since the scene at the end of the credits in Iron Man.  You are talking about juggling all these characters (and the egos of the actors attached to the parts).  You are talking about a pipe dream of a movie for fanboys since they picked up any comic book featuring this.  You can say what about X-Men, but that was different.  They were established and developed within that one movie.  These were all established seperately and all revolved around completely different ideals.  One was all about ego.  One was all about doing the right thing.  One was all about mythology.  One was all about controlling anger.  How in the hell would they be able to put all this together and do it justice?   I kept telling myself to just enjoy a popcorn movie short on substance and cool to the eye and I would have been satisfied.  I was wrong.  They managed to pull off what I thought would be impossible, met the sky high expectations and quite honestly - blew them out of the water.  The story was amazing.  The action was awesome.  The laughs were HUGE . . . . and it wasn't just Downey Jr's one liners.  The script was written in such a way that everyone got to be in on it.  There were two scenes with the Hulk where the audience was hysterical.  The balance between everyone was amazing.  They did every single one of them justice.  Even bit players like Agent Colson was made to matter to every viewer.  I can't remember the last time that I was impressed by a movie.  Actually - I can.  It was the Dark Knight.  This movie didn't have as much broad spectrum substance as that and it's the only thing that keeps me from saying that this is the best comic book movie ever made.  But I have no problem saying that this is the second best comic book movie of all time and easily the greatest achievement of hype matching I've ever seen.

Would I recommend it?  Duh.  I could have kept gushing for pages and basically just forced myself to stop.  This movie was excellence across the board and easily the best movie of the year so far.

Battleship

Battleship is an action-adventure that unfolds across the seas, in the skies and over land as our planet fights for survival against a superior force. Based on Hasbro's classic naval combat game, Battleship stars Taylor Kitsch as Hopper, a Naval officer assigned to the USS John Paul Jones; Brooklyn Decker as Sam, a physical therapist and Hopper's fiance; Alexander Skarsgard as Hopper's older brother, Commanding Officer Stone of the USS Samson; Rihanna as Lt. Raikes, Hopper's crewmate and a weapons specialist on the USS John Paul Jones; and international superstar Liam Neeson as Hopper and Stone's superior (and Sam's father), Admiral Shane.

I don't know if I just had super low expectations for this or what but I ended up enjoying it.  I was actually flat out loving the movie until the aliens became mobile.  The excitement that was there until that point kind of faded a little bit.  And I really like Taylor Kitsch.  He was always my favorite kid on Friday Night Lights and he could have a bright future.  Hopefully this movie will make him a bigger name and people can forget that whole John Carter thing.  This was a throwback to Jerry Bruckenheimer summer popcorn movies.  Lots of action.  Lots of young actors.  Funny one liners.  You know the drill.  The effects were very Transformers like and to be honest - this movie was waaaaaaaaaay better than either of the Transformers sequels . . . . . . not that an accomplishment like that would be hard to pull off.

I would definitely recommend people checking this out.  It's an entertaining summer movie for all to see.

Safe

A second-rate cage fighter on the mixed martial arts circuit, Luke Wright lives a numbing life of routine beatings and chump change... until the day he blows a rigged fight. Wanting to make an example of him, the Russian Mafia murders his family and banishes him from his life forever, leaving Luke to wander the streets of New York destitute, haunted by guilt, and tormented by the knowledge that he will always be watched, and anyone he develops a relationship with will also be killed.  But when he witnesses a frightened twelve-year-old Chinese girl, Mei, being pursued by the same gangsters who killed his wife, Luke impulsively jumps to action... and straight into the heart of a deadly high-stakes war. Mei, he discovers, is no ordinary girl, but an orphaned math prodigy forced to work for the Triads as a "counter." He discovers she holds in her memory a priceless numerical code that the Triads, the Russian mob and a corrupt faction of the NYPD will kill for.  Realizing he's the only person Mei can trust, Luke tears a swath through the city's brutal underworld to save an innocent girl's life... and perhaps even redeem his own.

That above stuff is basically just bla-bla-bla-bla.  This movie is literally Transporter 7.  It's just like all the other Jason Statham movies.  Must protect kid.  Fighting the cops and the mob, all of whom are overacted beyond the limits of overacting. Kicks and punches alot.  There are car chases.    I'm pretty much wasting my time saying anything more about this.

Again - it's a Jason Statham movie.  If you like the others - you'll probably like this one.  If you don't - why would you bother with this one?

The Lucky One

U.S. Marine Sergeant Logan Thibault (Efron) returns from his third tour of duty in Iraq, with the one thing he credits with keeping him alive--a photograph he found of a woman he doesn't even know. Learning her name is Beth (Schilling) and where she lives, he shows up at her door, and ends up taking a job at her family-run local kennel. Despite her initial mistrust and the complications in her life, a romance develops between them, giving Logan hope that Beth could be much more than his good luck charm.

This movie is exactly what you would expect it to be. It's a Nicolas Sparks adaptation.  There's lots of drama, there are lots of emotions/drama, etc. etc.  This one was definitely one of the less heavy ones.  Neither one of the main characters died or had some disease slowly killing them like his other entries.  It was a decent enough watch for a "chick" flick.

I would lukewarmly recommend people checking this out.  It's not a must see by any means but it isn't awful either.  It's probably the most credible acting that Zac Efron has done in his career to date. 

The Five-Year Engagement

Beginning where most romantic comedies end, The Five-Year Engagement looks at what happens when an engaged couple, Jason Segel and Emily Blunt, keeps getting tripped up on the long walk down the aisle.

I really enjoy both Jason Segel and Emily Blunt.  Their chemistry in this movie didn't seem forced whatsoever.  Their comedy providing best friends were also awesome.  I love them both from their work on Community and Parks & Recreation.  The laughs were great.  The story was well told and entertaining.  There is a definite hook that makes you care about both characters and understand what they are going through.  The only problem with this movie - and it's unfortunately a big on - is that the movie is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long and you absolutely feel it.  If they could have cut this down to about 90 minutes or paced it a little better, I probably would have loved it.

I would still recommend people checking this out.  Like I said, I really enjoyed the story and characters but I felt like I was sitting there for the full five years.  Although, as I say that - does that mean that they did a really god job of making you take the journey with the two characters?   Mmmmmmm . . . . . interesting.

Think Like A Man

Based on Steve Harvey's best-selling book, Think Like a Man follows four interconnected and diverse men whose love lives are shaken up after the ladies they are pursuing buy Harvey's book and start taking his advice to heart. When the band of brothers realize they have been betrayed by one of their own, they conspire using the book's insider information to turn the tables and teach the women a lesson of their own.

This was a funnier version of most Tyler Perry's movies. You could tell with how much they kept mentioning/mocking Tyler Perry movies.  It was basicaly about four couples learning to be real with each other about their feelings and Kevin Hart was thrown in there purely for laughs.   And he was a perfect mix in to keep this movie flowing.  All of the couples had good chemistry and the movie was watchable but it was absolutely his commentary and riffing that carried this movie for me.

I would somewhat recommend people checking this out.  It's not so heavy on the melodrama like most Tyler Perry movies are.  It's light, the characters/relationships are believable and the laughs are aplenty.

The Cabin In The Woods

Five friends go to a remote cabin in the woods. Bad things happen.  If you think you know this story, think again. From fan favorites Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard comes "The Cabin in the Woods," a mind blowing horror film that turns the genre inside out.

The critics were huge fans of this movie and I read a lot of positive stuff about it.  Then I got nothing but horrible reviews from anyone I know that saw it.  I feel like the result of those two things (along with watching Lockdown just before this) made me see this as middle of the road I guess.  I get the critics choosing to love it because of all the social commentary that is featured throughout what is ultimately a total gorefest and more likely because of them needing to love Joss Whedon since he is attached to The Avengers.  I also get people thinking that this is total garbage because - well it was.  It tried to be overly smart and that was eventualy it's undoing because there was no way that it would pan out to the buildup that they were doing throughout.  The ending just became a crazy fifteen minutes crammed with over the topness across the board.  For once, I'm glad I didn't see a movie when it first came out because I think all the bad word of mouth (again - as well as suffering through Lockdown just before) made this tolerable for me even though it was pretty much poop.

I wouldn't recommend anyone checking this out.  Again - it is ultimately garbage.  The satirical stuff was good but about halfway through ran out of gas and just kind of spiralled in to garbage.

Lockout

 

Set in the near future, Lockout follows a falsely convicted ex- government agent (Pearce), whose one chance at obtaining freedom lies in the dangerous mission of rescuing the President's daughter (Grace) from rioting convicts at an outer space maximum security prison.

This was without a doubt - the WORST edited movie that I have seen in my entire life.  Apparantly, they decided that they wanted a PG-13 rating at the last second and decided to cut back on the blood and/or foul language.  However, they didn't do reshoots and just cut the scenes.  The result is it going from scene to scene with no transition whatsoever.  Pearce headbutts a guy - cut scene - they are running out of the room on the completely different side of where they are with people chasing them.  The movie was a giant turn regardless but could have been a "guilty pleasure" type movie but the editing just makes it straight up unbearable. 

I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone.  No - wait!!!  Actually, I would.  This is one of those movies that is so absurdly bad - that people should see it just to sit there going "What the f@ck?"



The Three Stooges

Left on a nun's doorstep, Larry, Curly and Moe grow up finger-poking, nyuk-nyuking and woo-woo-wooing their way to uncharted levels of knuckleheaded misadventure. Out to save their childhood home, only The Three Stooges could become embroiled in an oddball murder plot... while also stumbling into starring in a phenomenally successful TV reality show.

This is one of those movies that is what it is.  Were you expecting some sort of greatness?  If so, you are a fool.  It's a franchise that is based on stupidity and silliness.  This movie was stupid and silly . . . . . . . but I was still able to laugh at it for what it was.  It's rated PG so in all honesty, it's more for kids and is full of sight gags and the stooges sounds when goofing around.  I was able to shut off my brain and laugh sometimes at the silliness that it was.

I would somewhat recommend people checking this out.  It's not a must see.  Kids will love it.  You will laugh at times if you are able to shut off your brain like I was.

The Pirates! - Band Of Misfits

In The Pirates! Band of Misfits, Hugh Grant stars in his first animated role as the luxuriantly bearded Pirate Captain - a boundlessly enthusiastic, if somewhat less-than-successful, terror of the High Seas. With a rag-tag crew at his side, and seemingly blind to the impossible odds stacked against him, the Captain has one dream: to beat his bitter rivals Black Bellamy (Jeremy Piven) and Cutlass Liz (Salma Hayek) to the much coveted Pirate Of The Year Award. It's a quest that takes our heroes from the shores of exotic Blood Island to the foggy streets of Victorian London. Along the way they battle a diabolical queen (Imelda Staunton) and team up with a haplessly smitten young scientist (David Tennant), but never lose sight of what a pirate loves best: adventure!

This was a decent watch kids movie.  It wasn't great but it wasn't bad.  It' entertaining enough and short enough that you are ok with it.  Not really much more to say about this movie at all.

I would lukewarmly recommend people seeing this.  It's not a must see by any means.  Kids will like it.  Adults won't hate it too much.  Again - that's really all I've got.

American Reunion

It was summer 1999 when four small-town Michigan boys began a quest to lose their virginity. In the years that have passed, Jim and Michelle married while Kevin and Vicky said goodbye. Oz and Heather grew apart, but Finch still longs for Stifler's mom. Now these lifelong friends have come home as adults to reminisce about and get inspired by the hormonal teens who launched a comedy legend.

This move was a sad attempt at recapturing something that passed by a long time agao.  American Pie was last decades' sex comedy for early 20 year olds.  It was hilarious.  I loved it.  Both sequels were lamer than the original and the franchise ended.  Then this decades' crazy over the top comedy came out. And The Hangover was a classic.  Again - sequel nowhere near as good.  And I have to honestly say that if those movies didn't come out - this movie never would have been attempted and wasted our time.  It was more of the same recycled stuff and characters.  It took way to long to get there.  And I barely laughed at all except for anything non-Stifler related.  Even that got pretty old pretty fast.

I wouldn't really recommend anyone bothering with this.  It was a lame attempt at reincarnating something that should have just been left alone. 

Wrath Of The Titans

A decade after his heroic defeat of the monstrous Kraken, Perseus (Worthington) --the demigod son of Zeus (Neeson)--is attempting to live a quieter life as a village fisherman and the sole parent to his 10-year old son, Helius. Meanwhile, a struggle for supremacy rages between the gods and the Titans. Dangerously weakened by humanity's lack of devotion, the gods are losing control of the imprisoned Titans and their ferocious leader, Kronos, father of the long-ruling brothers Zeus, Hades (Fiennes) and Poseidon (Huston). The triumvirate had overthrown their powerful father long ago, leaving him to rot in the gloomy abyss of Tartarus, a dungeon that lies deep within the cavernous underworld. Perseus cannot ignore his true calling when Hades, along with Zeus' godly son, Ares (Ramirez), switch loyalties and make a deal with Kronos to capture Zeus. The Titans' strength grows stronger as Zeus' remaining godly powers are siphoned, and hell is unleashed on earth. Enlisting the help of the warrior Queen Andromeda (Pike), Poseidon's demigod son, Argenor (Kebbell), and fallen god Hephaestus (Nighy), Perseus bravely embarks on a treacherous quest into the underworld to rescue Zeus, overthrow the Titans and save mankind.

This movie was pretty much poop.  It was a 90 minute excuse for lots of CGI special effects.  The acting was poop.  The story was poop.  I really didn't care from beginning to end so even the effects were not that interesting.  The only entertaining/interesting parts of this movie was trying to recall who played Zeus, Poseidon and Hades in this as opposed to Percy Jackson.  Couldn't for the life of me differentiate and a kid coming back in to the theatre fell down as he ran down the aisle next to us.  Outside of that I was counting down the time for the credits to finally roll.

I wouldn't recommend anyone bothering with this.  Again - it's nothing but special effects and even those are not worth the 90 minutes of your time.