10. The Nativity Story
I can't believe that J.C. didn't use divine intervention to keep this movie about his birth from hitting theaters. How can you make the birth of Christ this boring!?!
9. The Black Dahlia
The movie was advertised to be about the grizzly murder of an actress some years back. However, what I watched for two hours was this all over the place movie about two detectives and the women that they were sleeping with with a dash of the worst overacting I've seen in a long time.
8. The Fountain
It has been over a month and I still have no clue what this movie was about. I can't get the image of Hugh Jackman talking to a tree that is supposed to be the only "living" extension of the love of his life inside a bubble flying in space.
7. Ultraviolet
Who in the blue hell thought that making a low-budget version of The Matrix starring the girl who keeps saying "Multipass" in The Fifth Element as the lead was a good idea? I've never seen a more idiotic action movie in my life.
6. The Wicker Man
Why, Nicolas Cage, Why? This movie tried so hard to be like The Ring or The Grudge, but I guess that unless the Japanese make these kinds of movies first - they are horrible! It's been a long time since I left a theater so annoyed at the movie I just watched.
5. The Return
See above but change Nicolas Cage to Sarah Michelle Gellar.
4. Crank
Every once and a while you see a movie and the only thing that you leave thinking about it is what made the people at the studio sitting around their big table think that this was a good idea? I'm not even sure that they were following a script in this one. It was so random that I wouldn't be a bit surprised to find out that the whole movie was improv.
3. The Covenant
When I first saw the commercial for this movie, it had a car seperating in to pieces to avoid getting hit by a truck and then reconfiguring after passing it to continue driving. Honestly, I thought that the commercial was for a new car or something and had no idea it was a movie. I now really wish that it was. This movie would have been lame even if it was a made for TV movie on FOX.
2. Running Scared
I forgot that this movie came out this year and it was a tough call between this movie and the biggest loser for this list. This movie was so scatterbrained words can really do no justice. It had an undercover cop investigating the mob, a guy from Russia that was obsessed with John Wayne, that creepy kid who took a bath with Nicole Kidman in "Birth", a pimp that wants revenge for a broken head light on his car, people getting beaten by getting hockey puck slapshots to the face, and a woman taking down a child porn ring while looking for her aforementioned husband (the undercover cop). The really crazy thing is that this is one of those movies that is so bad, I actually recommend that everyone see it. It's so brutal that you are laughing your a$$ off by the end even though the movie couldn't be less funny.
1. Deck The Halls
This will go down in the history books of Hollywood as the worst holiday movie ever. Holiday movies are supposed to be cheesy by nature, but this one was the stinkiest, most rotten cheesy ever. It was about a guy who wants his house to be seen by a space satelite and used decorating for Christmas to be the fuel for his awesome goal. COME ON NOW! Not to mention that the movie also stars Matthew Broderick and it kills me to think how much I idolized him when I was younger. What the hell happened to Ferris Bueller!?!
