When In Rome

An ambitious young New Yorker (Kristen Bell), disillusioned with romance, takes a whirlwind trip to Rome where she defiantly plucks magic coins from a "foolish" fountain of love, inexplicably igniting the passion of an odd group of suitors: a sausage magnate (Danny DeVito), a street magician (Jon Heder), an adoring painter (Will Arnett) and a self-admiring model (Dax Shepard). But when a charming reporter (Josh Duhamel) pursues her with equal zest, how will she know if his love is the real thing?

This is one of those movies where you literally saw the whole thing just by watching the trailer for it. I really don't remember too many things that I hadn't seen footage of prior to sitting in the theater. Its totally formula in every way. However, it is somewhat watchable due to the supporting cast. I happen to find Kristen Bell pretty annoying and there was nothing to change my mind regarding that in this movie. I did like the absurd cast of characters that fall in love with her. They made it just above tolerable enough to make it to the end of the movie.

I really wouldn't recommend that anyone rush out there to see this. Ultimately, it is just a big waste of time. However, if you feel the need that you must see it based on the commercials it is just above tolerable.

Edge Of Darkness

Edge of Darkness is an emotionally charged thriller set at the intersection of politics and big business. Thomas Craven (Mel Gibson) is a veteran homicide detective for the Boston Police Department and a single father. When his only child, twenty-four year-old Emma (Bojana Novakovic), is murdered on the steps of his home, everyone assumes that he was the target. But he soon suspects otherwise, and embarks on a mission to find out about his daughter's secret life and her killing. His investigation leads him into a dangerous, looking glass world of corporate cover-ups, government collusion and murder – and to shadowy government operative Darius Jedburgh (Ray Winstone), who has been sent in to clean up the evidence. Craven's solitary search for answers about his daughter's death transforms into an odyssey of emotional discovery and redemption.

This movie was pretty bad ass. I really enjoyed it. It was a great ride and I really bought in. It also featured two of the most shock you out of your chair, violent and realistic killings I've ever seen on film. All I'm saying is that the thought of actually seeing up close someone shot at close range by a shot gun or suddenly hit by a car has got to look EXACTLY like it looked in this movie. Again - sudden, gruesome and freakishly real looking. I'm shocked that they didn't actually kill the actors for those shots. Anywho, you really buy Mel Gibson as the vengeful father and I think Ray Winstone is awesome in everything he does. You find yourself completely engaged in the conversations that him and Mel Gibson have together.

I very strongly recommend people checking this bad boy out. Be warned that parts of it are incredibly violent/graphic, but it is a great watch.

Extraordinary Measures

From his working class roots, John Crowley (Brendan Fraser) has finally begun to taste success in corporate America. Supported by his beautiful wife Aileen (Keri Russell) and their three children, John is on the fast track. But just as his career is taking off, Crowley walks away from it all when his two youngest children, Megan and Patrick, are diagnosed with a fatal disease. With Aileen by his side, harnessing all of his skill and determination, Crowley teams up with a brilliant, but unappreciated and unconventional scientist, Dr. Robert Stonehill (Harrison Ford). Together they form a bio-tech company focused on developing a life-saving drug. One driven to prove himself and his theories, the other by a chance to save his children, this unlikely alliance eventually develops into mutual respect as they battle the medical and business establishments in a fight against the system – and time.

This movie is exactly what you expect it to be. It was advertised as a made for tv/Lifetime type movie and that's exactly what it was. That's not saying that its bad. Its a very watchable/enjoyable movie if you are in to the blatant heart string pulling type of stuff. Harrison Ford is great. Brendan Fraser is his usual overacting self. Even though its completely formula in every way, the story progresses quickly enough so that you don't feel that crazy boredom creeping in.

I would lukewarmly recommend people checking this movie out. Again - its a blatant heart string movie and if you like those kinds of movies I guarantee you will like this movie. If not, you probably shouldn't go anywhere near this one.

Tooth Fairy

Dwayne Johnson is The Tooth Fairy, also known as Derek Thompson, a hard-charging minor league hockey player whose nickname comes from his habit of separating opposing players from their bicuspids. When Derek discourages a youngster's hopes, he's sentenced to one week's hard labor as a real tooth fairy, complete with the requisite tutu, wings and magic wand. At first, Derek "can't handle the tooth" - bumbling and stumbling as he tries to furtively wing his way through strangers' homes...doing what tooth fairies do. But as Derek slowly adapts to his new position,he begins to rediscover his own forgotten dreams.

Yet another totally horrible family movie released in January. I don't think I have ever looked forward to February in my entire life as I do this year. Its just downright painful at this point. Anywho, the only reason that I was able to make it through to the end of this massive turd is because of The Rock. Sure, I could refer to him by his real name, but who are we kidding. He has always been and will always be The Rock. I find him incredibly entertaining and forced my way through this due to my liking of him. Outside of that it was totally formula in every way and just downright bad.

I wouldn't recommend anyone bothering to check this one out. Not even those of you with kids. Its not worth the pain, people!

Legion

In the supernatural action thriller "Legion," an out-of-the-way diner becomes the unlikely battleground for the survival of the human race. When God loses faith in Mankind, he sends his legion of angels to bring on the Apocalypse. Humanity's only hope lies in a group of strangers trapped in a desert diner and the Archangel Michael (Paul Bettany).

Yet another awesome example of why to stay home when it is cold in January. The only good part of this movie was with the nasty old lady in the diner that is in all the commercials. Outside of that its just silly, over the top, wannabe prophetic crap. This movie was quite possibly the lamest character development I've ever seen in my life because no matter what there is no way that any of us are going to care about these people. You know damn well that they are going to die one by one so why bother getting too in to them. This was basically one of those movies where they tried to take themselves too seriously . . . . . and they clearly love shots of Paul Bettany firing two machine guns at once.

I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone. It really is a total waste of time.

A Single Man

A Single Man is the story of George Falconer, a 52 year old British college professor (Colin Firth) who is struggling to find meaning to his life after the death of his long time partner, Jim (Matthew Goode). George dwells on the past and cannot see his future as we follow him through a single day, where a series of events and encounters, ultimately leads him to decide if there is a meaning to life after Jim. George is consoled by his closest friend Charley (Julianne Moore), a 48 year old beauty who is wrestling with her own questions about the future. A young student of George's, Kenny (Nicholas Hoult), who is coming to terms with his true nature, stalks George as he feels in him a kindred spirit.

This is one of those textbook artsy movies that will probably be shown in film studies classes years from now. They could use it to show great character development, the use of symbolic flashbacks, how the musical score can effect a scene, the use of single camera shots and the importance of cinematography catching an "era" even if its mostly inside of houses. Unfortunately, I found it to be very boring. This is one of those movies that as a film fan I can see how very well done it was and how good the performances in it were, but I just wasn't in to it at all.

I would only recommend this movie for die hard film buffs and oscar recognition junkies. Outside of those people, there really isn't anyone that I would push to see this. Its couldn't be less of a mainstream movie if it tried.

The Book Of Eli

In the not-too-distant future, across the wasteland of what was once America, a lone warrior must fight to bring civilization the knowledge that could be the key to its redemption.


Um . . . . . . . uh . . . . . . I don't really know how I felt about this movie. It was really good at times and then at other times it was about as entertaining as watching paint dry. Denzel Washington was good and Gary Oldman was awesome . . . . as always. I just feel like the directors were too high on themselves and the movie too often. It had this kind of annoying holier than thou attitude and made it king of annoying for big portions. The Max Max element was there and there are numerous points where this movie is crazy violent. The religious belief debate between Denzel and Gary Oldman is great. It was the dreary bla bla bla talking parts that held this movie back from being really great. Its still watchable but not as much as one would have hoped.


I would lukewarmly recommend this movie to people. If nothing else, its the first movie that has come out this year that didn't make me want to stab myself in the eyes. Just be sure to keep your expectations pretty low.

The Spy Next Door

The Spy Next Door stars Jackie Chan as Bob Ho, an undercover CIA superspy who decides to give up his career in espionage to settle down with his next-door neighbor and girlfriend, Gillian (Amber Valletta). But Bob has one more mission to complete before Gillian agrees to marry him: winning over her three opinionated kids.

Ugh. And now we have the incredibly craptastic family movie released in January to cross of our list. I used to love Jackie Chan. However, this movie is a definite sign that the man is done. And this might seriously be the most annoying collection of kids ever. I want to kick the crap out of them myself. This movie is just a blatant attempt at putting a family friendly movie out there to take advantage of parents wanting to find something to do with their kids since its cold and they are off from school for MLK day.

I wouldn't recommend that anyone bother checking this out. Not even those of you with kids. If you are totally desperate just take them to see Alvin and The Chipmunks 2 again.

Leap Year

When their four-year anniversary passes without a marriage proposal, Anna (Amy Adams) decides to take matters into her own hands. Investing in an Irish tradition that allows women to propose to men on February 29th, Anna decides to follow her boyfriend Jeremy (Adam Scott) to Dublin and get down on one knee herself.But airplanes, weather and fate leave Anna stranded on the other side of Ireland, and she must enlist the help of handsome and surly Declan (Matthew Goode) to get her across the country. As Anna and Declan bicker across the Emerald Isle, they discover that the road to love can take you to very unexpected places.

They can't even get "chick flicks" right in January!!! As if this movie wasn't insultingly formula enough, I really don't think there was a single part of this movie that was not covered in the trailer. The trailer in fact was so much better than the movie becuase it was only 2-3 minutes long. The only person that made me laugh in this movie was Amy Adams friend in the beginning. However, that was probably more because she is "Dee" from Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia, which if you aren't watching - you REALLY should be. Outside of that - there really wasn't anything redeeming about this movie. Not even the "chick flick" satisfaction feeling. Nothing.

I wouldn't recommend that anyone waste their time with this bad boy. Once again, you should probably just rent movies that you missed instead of going to theaters in the month of January.

Youth In Revolt

Starring Michael Cera and based on the acclaimed novel by C.D. Payne, Youth in Revolt is the story of Nick Twisp – a unique, but affable teen with a taste for the finer things in life like Sinatra and Fellini – who falls hopelessly in love with the beautiful, free-spirited Sheeni Saunders (Portia Doubleday) while on a family vacation. But family, geography and jealous ex-lovers conspire to keep these two apart. With Sheeni’s encouragement, Nick abandons his dull, predictable life and develops a rebellious alter ego: Francois. With his ascot, his moustache and his cigarette, Francois will stop at nothing to be with Sheeni, and leads Nick Twisp on a path of destruction with unpredictable and uproarious consequences.

Yet another shining example of why NOT to go to the movies in January. This comedy isn't remotely funny. Michael Cera plays the same damn character again and has morphed in to being pretty damn annoying. If you see this, you basically just sit there for an hour and half asking yourself why are you watching it.

I wouldn't recommend that anyone wasting their time with this one. Its one of those movies that will just make you annoyed that you can never get those 2 hours back.

Daybreakers

Ethan Hawke plays Edward Dalton, a researcher in the year 2019, in which an unknown plague has transformed the world's population into vampires. As the human population nears extinction, vampires must capture and farm every remaining human, or find a blood substitute before time runs out. However, a covert group of vampires makes a remarkable discovery, one which has the power to save the human race.

So many questions were answered by watching this movie. Why doesn't Ethan Hawke do more movies? Because he sucks. What happens to vampires if they drink their own blood? They become mutant inbreds. Its apparantly like having a baby with your brother or sister. Why should you not go to the movies in January? Because all that comes out in January are big pieces of turd like this movie.

I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone. Ever. Its so mind numbingly stupid. Run for your lives.

The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is a fantastical morality tale, set in the present day. It tells the story of Dr Parnassus and his extraordinary 'Imaginarium', a traveling show where members of the audience get an irresistible opportunity to choose between light and joy or darkness and gloom. Blessed with the extraordinary gift of guiding the imaginations of others, Dr Parnassus is cursed with a dark secret. Long ago he made a bet with the devil, Mr Nick, in which he won immortality. Many centuries later, on meeting his one true love, Dr Parnassus made another deal with the devil, trading his immortality for youth, on condition that when his first-born reached its 16th birthday he or she would become the property of Mr Nick. Valentina is now rapidly approaching this 'coming of age' milestone and Dr Parnassus is desperate to protect her from her impending fate. Mr Nick arrives to collect but, always keen to make a bet, renegotiates the wager. Now the winner of Valentina will be determined by whoever seduces the first five souls. Enlisting a series of wild, comical and compelling characters in his journey, Dr Parnassus promises his daughter's hand in marriage to the man that helps him win. In this captivating, explosive and wonderfully imaginative race against time, Dr Parnassus must fight to save his daughter in a never-ending landscape of surreal obstacles - and undo the mistakes of his past once and for all.

Um . . . . . . what? I tried to watch this movie. I really did. I kept telling myself that Terry Gilliam made 12 Monkeys and Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas and that the movie would come off its high and straighten out. I just couldn't do it. After 30 minutes of watching what was clearly an acid trip on film, I couldn't do it anymore. I found myself actually getting nauseous and a headache trying to figure out what was happening while on screen was nothing but crayola/imagination madness. Maybe I will try to watch the rest of this sometime when I have free time and what not. Not sure that I have the stomach for it though.

I wouldn't really recommend anyone checking this out. Sure, its Heath Ledger's last movie and Terry Gilliam is one hell of a crazy director, but this movie is way too mish-moshed to be able to enjoy.

Did You Hear About The Morgans?

Did You Hear About the Morgans? follows a highly successful Manhattan couple, Meryl and Paul Morgan (Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant), whose almost-perfect lives have only one notable failure – their dissolving marriage. But the turmoil of their romantic lives is nothing compared to what they are about to experience: they witness a murder and become targets of a contract killer. The Feds, protecting their witnesses, whisk away the Morgans from their beloved New York to a tiny town in Wyoming, and a relationship that was on the rocks threatens to end completely in the Rockies... unless, in their new BlackBerry-free lives, the Morgans can slow down the pace and rekindle the passion.

This movie was so beyond not funny. I sat there for 40 minutes and didn't so much as smile at some of the most set up punchlines that were completely lame. I wondered whether to stay or not but then I thought about it and knew damn well that after another hour plus of country bumpkin mishaps these two were going to fall back in love and probably choose to stay in Wyoming . . . . . . . still without any laughs for the audience. Add to that the fact that I can't stand Sarah Jessica Parker and the weight of there being so many better things I could be doing with my time so I pulled the plug.

I wouldn't recommend anyone bothering to waste their time on this. Its not funny. Sarah Jessica Parker sucks. And the movie couldn't be more formula if they tried.

Nine

Nine is a musical that follows the life of world famous film director Guido Contini (Daniel Day-Lewis) as he reaches a creative and personal crisis of epic proportion, while balancing the numerous women in his life including his wife (Marion Cotillard), his mistress (Penelope Cruz), his film star muse (Nicole Kidman), his confidant and costume designer (Judi Dench), a young American fashion journalist (Kate Hudson), the whore from his youth (Stacy "Fergie" Ferguson) and his mother (Sophia Loren).

I didn't think it was possible for Daniel Day Lewis to do anything bad. I was wrong. This movie was horrible! I'm usually a big fan of musicals but this was beyond unbearable. After every song, I turned to WW and asked "what?" Every f'n song was about Guido. I started to wonder if the movie was called Nine because all it really was was nine songs about Guido. And I didn't give a rat's ass about guido. The only two performances that didn't make me want to stab myself in the ears were Fergie's and Nicole Kidman's. But they still sucked because they were singing about Guido.

I wouldn't recommend anyone checking this movie out . . . . . ever! It has ruined the always reliable holiday season/Oscar contending musical string. F Guido!

The Lovely Bones

Based on the critically acclaimed best-selling novel by Alice Sebold, and directed by Peter Jackson, The Lovely Bones centers on a young girl who has been murdered and watches over her family – and her killer – from heaven. She must weigh her desire for vengeance against her desire for her family to heal.

I was very disappointed by this movie. Its not that the movie was bad. I just think that I let my hopes get the best of me after loving the book so much. I found myself questioning why they decided to film things a certain way. I kept questioning their casting choices. It all pretty much ruined the movie for me. The only thing that I really loved about it was Stanley Tucci as the murderer. He was creepy as hell and perfectly cast. Outside of that - not really thrilled with too much of this movie at all.

I wouldn't really recommend anyone checking this out. If you havn't read the book there will be plenty of times where you are asking what the . . . . ? If you have read the book you will probably feel the same as me.

It's Complicated

Jane (Streep) is the mother of three grown kids, owns a thriving Santa Barbara bakery/restaurant and has—after a decade of divorce—an amicable relationship with her ex-husband, attorney Jake (Baldwin). But when Jane and Jake find themselves out of town for their son’s college graduation, things start to get complicated. An innocent meal together turns into the unimaginable—an affair. With Jake remarried to the much younger Agness (Lake Bell), Jane is now, of all things, the other woman. Caught in the middle of their renewed romance is Adam (Martin), an architect hired to remodel Jane's kitchen. Healing from a divorce of his own, Adam starts to fall for Jane, but soon realizes he's become part of a love triangle.

This movie was hilarious. Streep, Baldwin and Martin all played off of each other excellently and you really get hooked in to the whole demented family dynamic that is created. The unsung hero of the movie is John Krasinski (Jim on The Office) as Streep and Baldwin's future son-in-law who is aware of the affair that's going on. His reactions to what he sees and the pot smoking scenes with Streep and Martin had both WW and I laughing out loud. The movie ran a little bit longer than it had to. Outside of that - there really isn't too much to knock about this movie.

I definitely recommend that people check this movie out. Its one of the more simple and enjoyable comedies out there.

The Ten Best Movies Of 2009

Honorable Mentions - The Blind Side and Paranormal Activity

The Blind Side was easily the feel good movie of the year. Its one of those rare movies that just makes you happy to be a human being and knowing that there are such amazing situations/circumstances/truly decent people out there. Paranormal Activity was not a "great" movie by any means. However, it was one of the most terrifying movie going experiences of my life. They both deserve honorable mentions for that.

10. Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince

What more can be said about this franchise? Six movies deep and they are always on my ten best list. The only reason that this one is so low is because I'm still mad that they cut out my favorite part of the book with the bad guys working their way up to the tower through Hogwarts.

9. Up In The Air

This was a great character piece. I think all the best picture of the year buzz is a little bit too much to say the least, but it is still a great watch.

8. Where The Wild Things Are

Loved the book. Loved the movie. Its that simple. I thought they did an awesome job of capturing all the different emotions that kids go through and how Max projected them in to the different "wild things" amazingly.

7. I Love You, Man

I love Paul Rudd. His dry humor is awesome. I also love Jason Segel. The chemistry between the two of them was hysterical and this movie was loaded with great supporting roles that were equally as funny.

6. Watchmen

I know that this movie failed to meet most people's expectations. Not mine. I loved the story. I loved the political satire of it. I loved the way it was filmed. This movie deserves a lot more credit and accolades than it received.

5. Avatar

You can knock the story line for being unoriginal. You can harp on the movie being too long. Regardless, this is the most amazing visualization that I've ever seen.

4. The Hangover

Easily the funniest movie of the year. Honestly, its one of the funniest movies ever. This is by far the movie that I watched the most this year and it never stopped being funny.

3. Star Trek

Never was a trekkie. Honestly, never liked the movies too much. This one kicked total ass though. Great young cast. Great quick paced action and story. If they others would have been more like this I would have been a trekkie.

2. Up

I've said it ten times now. Pixar doesn't do bad movies. This one is actually one of their best. Never in my life did I think I could become so connecting to an animated on screen couple based on a 6 minute montage. I was devastated when Carl's wife passed away and couldn't stop pulling for him for the rest of the movie.

1. Inglourious Basterds

Easily Tarantino's best movie since Pulp Fiction. The subtitle thing bugged me, but the way that he had so many storylines come together was amazingly flawless.

The Ten Worst Movies Of 2009

10. Gamer

Pretty decent premise with how life consuming XBOX Live can be. Unfortunately, they screwed the pooch so royally with the way they filmed it that the movie was basically unbearable.

9. The Time Traveler's Wife

One of the worst romantic/date movies I have ever seen in my whole life. The characters were crying based on the "drama" of certain scenes and I was literally laughing out loud at how ridiculous they were.

8. All About Steve

In a year where Bradley Cooper was the biggest breakout star and Sandra Bullock could not have returned more prominently - there is no excuse for this movie. NONE! The studio kept delaying it and managed to be able to take advantage of the two actors stock going up. Pathetic.

7. Whiteout

This might be one of the most unsuspenseful suspense movies of all time. It was like watching a really bad episode of CSI: Antarctica.

6. A Perfect Getaway

Wait . . . . . this was the most unsuspenseful suspense movie of all time. If you didn't see the "twist" coming in this movie you are an idiot and should be hit in the head with a hammer.

5. Crank: High Voltage

The only thing worse than the influx of torture porn movies is the rising flood of adrenaline porn movies. I barely made it 20 minutes in to this movie. Stop the madness!

4. Miss March

Literally watched 7 minutes of this. After 7 minutes I was able to decide that I will never watch the other minutes of this movie and I feel horrible for the current generations "sex comedies". They used to be so much better.

3. Jennifer's Body

I don't care if people think that Megan Fox is hot. She is the worst actress in Hollywood. I watched this whole movie with a WTF look on my face.

2. Year One

How can a movie with this many comic actors be so unfunny? All those guys and they had to resort to fart jokes and what not? Really?

1. Land Of The Lost

I love Will Ferrell and I love Danny McBride. This was just painful. This wins the worst movie award simply because I actually expected something from this. Not a lot. But something. It made me smile twice and want to throw things at the screen for the rest of it.